November 14, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Confidence.

The commentator during a hockey game tonight mentioned that the goalie was an excellent goalie...when he feels confident. I was trying to figure out the difference in the goalie between excellent play and mediocre play and does the goalie know the difference. I have never understood what confidence actually is. Is it mental, between your ears or is it physiology, in the muscles. It is one of those terms that everyone knows is important in accomplishing a task, but where is the confidence come from. And why sometimes confidence just disappears. You see it all the time in sports. "He has lost his confidence," said the commentator about a good golfer. We are speaking about elite players who practice every day and have won multiple tournaments. And then the confidence disappears. The concept is simple but complicated. It is one of those things that you recognize in a person when they feel confident and you know exactly when the confidence has gone. Tonight, I watched a few minutes of ice skating competition. One skater did poorly. A commentator mentioned it before the competition and sure enough. The skater fell. Her confidence had disappeared. Confidence is important in life. But the step to becoming arrogant is small. In the field of athletics, confidence is important. It is fun to watch a whole team become confident, then continue to play better. It is a puzzle, certainly not something that can be turned on and off like a spigot. I have heard the concept all my life but I have no idea what it comes from. But I know when I see it.

November 13, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Pitter Patter.

Whenever I sit in my chair in the corner of the living room and everything in the house is quiet, I could hear the pitter patter of little feet. I could recognize those little feet in the attic because years ago in Nova Scotia I heard the same sounds. I called the exterminator. He left bait in the attic and assured me the problem was solved. But he was wrong. So he came back again. He was not able to find where the little critters were getting into the attic so I knew I would hear them again. And I did. I did what I always do when we have a problem at our home which is to call Chantes. The chimney for the fireplace was also dripping water. The problem was not severe as we only get a bit of dropping, and it only occurs in severe rain and wind. But I do not like having water dripping into the fireplace. Chantes came yesterday to evaluate the situation. A vent in the attic was broken and the screen had come off. He assured me he would fix it. As it was raining yesterday, he was unable to get onto the roof to check the chimney. He told me he would be here Tuesday and he did. He spent an hour or so and repaired the vent and put new better wire over the opening. He seems confident that I should not hear any little foot steps from the attic. He did remind me that we have two vents, which he did not check because it is in a difficult part of another attic at the far side of the house. So far, my room has been quiet and still. No one else is here and there is no noisy wind to cover up the little steps. I am hoping our problem with the pitter patter of little feet is over. What would I do without Chantes?

November 12, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. A Day.

First thing I did today was to eat humble pie. Ken sent me an article giving the reasons why educators are using coloring as a method for developing cognitive thinking. Evidently a part of the brain develops better when coloring. And children and adults relax while coloring, which is why adult coloring books are best sellers. So today I sent the article to Christina. The next time I see Molly I must apologize for demeaning coloring. I am merely being old fashioned. Next up on my activities was to accompany Ken to have more skin removed from yet another cancer. To reward ourselves, we ate lunch at Anjou, a wonderful French restaurant. Fortunately I remembered a gift certificate, which expires next month. Then I booked our flights to Mexico. We will stay over in Dallas both ways so we do not wish to take two flights a day. So we are set to leave December 21 and arrive in Puerto Vallarta the next day. We leave February 2, arriving in Jackson on the 3rd. David and Suzanne and the girls arrive on the 26th. Any one who wishes some time in the 80 degrees of Mexico would be welcome from December 31 to January 12. We would welcome your visit to stay in our guest room. Next task for me tomorrow will be to find a helper in Nuevo Vallarta. And perhaps a cook for several days a week. But not today. My day is done.

November 11, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Coloring.

On Friday at Grandparents' Day, I opened my mouth and inserted my foot. I should have known better but I was so surprised at what I was seeing that I spoke out loud. Fortunately the teacher was not near me. Molly is in 5th grade. Her teacher is Mrs. Brown. They are just completing a section on the First World War. Clearly the teacher has done a good job. Molly knows a lot about the war, even to the major players on both sides of the battle. The students made a model of a deep ditches the soldiers stayed in order to not be shot. The walls in the classroom are covered with other projects made by students. Molly took me to her desk, which was small. On the desk was a three ring binder of the First World War in which Molly showed me the pages she had written about. And she showed me pictures of people, who she named. She described the different soldiers and the officers and the generals. I was impressed. I asked how she got the pictures. She told me she colored them all. Page after page, I looked at these drawings and was appalled that in the 5th grade Molly was coloring. That was what I said. Just then, Linda came over and asked what I had said. She disagreed with me. She thought the pages in Molly's books were beautiful and reinforced everything Molly had been taught in class. My position is that coloring is mindless. A piece of paper given to a child to color means that the teacher has nothing else for them to do. When young, children are helped by controlling their fingers but that is all it does. At lunch today, Christina also defended the practice. Mary Frances said that when she paints, first she draws. Then she colors in the shape. I must ask more people . Perhaps I am out of date. Mrs. Brown clearly brought the war home to the students and they learned a lot so I may be wrong about coloring. I even read last year that adults can now purchase coloring books. I was horrified. Perhaps if I had been better at coloring within the lines I would have had better handwriting. I never mastered the art which is perhaps I think coloring is ridiculous. Next time I will keep my mouth closed and only tell Molly how wonderful those pages were. Or maybe not.

November 10, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Retiring.

Once upon a time, we just called her Wendy. Now we all call her Wonderful Wendy. Just like speaking of Mary Frances was one name, Wendy's proper name is Wonderful Wendy. Years ago in 1972, Wendy spent a week with us the week we moved into our first home. The boys were 3 and 4 so we had limited time to unpack and organize but we got it done. At the end of the week, Dave and Irene drove from Ontario to have a visit and bring us our china and the one painting we owned. Wendy has been helping us ever since. But she had not yet received her new name. She flew to the farm for a week when we were organizing to sort stuff and have our belonging put into storage. At that time she was even more helpful because Rita was forced to go to the hospital in Cumberland and Wendy spoke to the insurance company. Rita was in great pain, Ian was driving without his hearing aids, so Wendy stepped up to the plate. But she got her new name when she came to unpack our boxes in our new house. From the time she walked in on Thursday evening until she left ten days later Wendy worked. When she left, all boxes had been opened and belongings organized. I have called her Wonderful Wendy ever since. Now she has sprung out in a fresh direction. She is retiring at the end of this month. The company she works for is having yet another merger. She was given the opportunity to apply for a new position or to take a retirement package. It took her a nanosecond to decide. She will retire. And she is excited. I am excited for her but I was surprised. She just made the decision on Wednesday. In true Wendy fashion, my e mail said "I am retiring the end of this month". No warning. Just done. Ken and Anne are planning to retire at the end of 2019. We have talked at length of their plans. We think it is fitting for Wendy to retire before Kenny. After all, she is older. But what about older brother Norman? Congratulations to Wendy. As an added bonus to us, Wendy and friend Ken will visit us in Mexico for three weeks. This will be their first trip during retirement. I bet it will not be their last. Hats off to Wendy.

November 9, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Grandparents' Day.

Molly loves it when both her grandmothers come to Grandparents' Day. It is a special day for her. And I like it too. Her school holds it every year. I have attended three. It is a well attended event with almost 1000 grandparents in attendance. The program is sweet and well organized. Each grade sings a song or two, some religious and some secular. The program is well organized and moves along well. When you first arrived, we are assigned a table of eight, all with other grandparents in the same class as Molly. The eighth graders serve us coffee while we wait. After the program, which lasts 45 minutes, the child comes to the table to escort us to meet her teacher and see the classrooms. Next Linda, Molly and I go out for lunch. The whole morning is a delight. Of course, it helps that the teachers say wonderful things about Molly. We can be proud of our Molly. But I can not stop myself making suggestions if only in my mind. Christ Covenant is a lovely school with a strong mission to partner with parents and grandparents to teach and train the child academically and spiritually. They do a great job but today, all the emphases was on the spiritual, not the academic. I would have liked to hear something about their academic standards. The program is pleasant but the format is the same every year. Absolutely nothing is changed except the songs sung by the children. The format has not varied at all from beginning to end. I understand the success of the day. People love to see their grandchild on stage and clearly the grandparents love it and come every year. I would like to see something new, just to keep me interested. Christ Covenant is a small school, K to 8. This grandparents' day is a major fund raiser for the school and is clearly successful. I saw many envelopes being filled with cheques that were left on the tables. I suppose that when an event is successful there is no reason to alter the program. The school has about 350 students. I need to stop trying to fix things that are not broken. Next year, I will just attend and enjoy. I promise. Molly loved it. That should be enough. Grandparents' Day was delightful. But somehow or another, I just can not stop trying to make it better. And I guess never will.

November 8, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. The Ultra Sound.

Before we left for Canada, the Urologist suggested to Ken that he have an ultra sound of his groin so the appointment was made. But the machine broke. The first appointment was in the university hospital but the second one was to be in the Pavilion, which is much easier for us. But we were not told the time or date. I suspect a letter arrived giving us the date but we missed it. On Tuesday afternoon I received a call alerting me of Ken's appointment on Thursday. I had forgotten all about it but Ken asked me this week is he still needed an ultra sound. My calendars both big and small showed nothing. So today we drove to the Pavilion for Ken to take the test. Kashina drives us. Fortunately she is a good driver. Everything went well. The appointment was at 10:15 so we wanted to leave at 9:30 but we were late leaving. Ken and I set the alarm for 8:00, giving us 90 minutes before walking out the door. Now we know we must allow two hours. The University radiology department if efficient. We arrived on time and we were in the car driving home at 11:00. We were pleased but await the result. While waiting for Ken to take his test, I listened to a conversation between three people. They were sitting on chairs to my left. I could not see them but I clearly heard every word. I had difficulty understanding their words, even though I knew they were speaking English. I also could not tell if they were black, white or hispanic. I asked Keshina if she could tell the difference just by listening their words. She admitted that some times she can and sometimes as she can not but she looked at the three. I had no clue what their racial origin was just by listening. Today I got fooled. In truth, there were two white people and one person of color having a conversation. That Mississippi accent is difficult for me. And I certainly can not tell who they are. The only other observation for me was that I saw several large people today in the Pavilion. Both height and width were impressive. It turned out to be an interesting time during the ultra sound.