May 7, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Entertaining.

Success in life requires change. New normal behavior is always just around the corner. I now have a new system of entertaining. Last evening was a perfect example. For the past several weeks I have gotten to know the Morris family. The parents are Salvation Army officers, Divisional Commanders here. They are being transferred to Atlanta in June. We have had a good time together and now we all feel like friends. The two children are enthusiastic, energetic and smart. Before I leave Mississippi, I invited them out to dinner. This is now my official method of entertaining. I like it. No fuss or muss. No cooking or setting the table. Just select a restaurant, arrange a date and meet. And enjoy. Last evening I took Lyft to Ely's, the steak house in Ridgeland I went with Wendy and Ken, Christina and Molly. I thought the 17 year old son Andrew would enjoy a good steak in a fancy steakhouse. Our dinners were delicious, as was the conversation. We talked about Oklahoma University visit for Andrew, and Amanda's exploits as a brass band player. And we talked about the new position for the parents in Atlanta. But the best part was that we all five had lots of fun. And I did not have to do a thing, except pay the bill. It is my new style of entertaining. And I like it.

May 6, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Good News.

Good news is always welcome. Early this morning I had a PET scan. Next I had my vital signs taken and had blood drawn. Lastly. I went to see Dr. Sheehan, my Oncologist. Everything is a case of hurry up and wait. By the time I spoke to Dr. Sheehan, all results were before her. My scan was unchanged from three months ago which means I do not need to take cheno this summer. Good news indeed. And my blood work was normal. Every reading was within normal range, the first time ever. My white cells today were 8.1. When I returned from the Mississippi cruise when I was still on Ibrance my white cells were 2. So now I am healthy. I am quietly pleased. I know that one day the scans will once again not be so good. But for the moment, I am pleased. A friend asked son David about his Mother. He said, "She is great, especially since in the Fall of 2014 she was given 4 to 6 months to live". Modern medicine took over, along with good food, plenty of prayers and healing hugs to pull me through. I am grateful for this bit of good news today.

May 5, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Grandpa Houghton.

The more I thought about Grandpa Houghton the more I realized that I knew little about him. I know he was the father of my mother, Frances Gertrude Emma Houghton Buckley. I know he was born in England on the north side of London and that he was the youngest child in his family. What that meant was that he was never going to inherit land, businesses or money. All the family wealth went to the oldest son. My Grandfather was required to make his way in life on his own. I also know, because my Mother told me, that he was trained as an architect. At that time the architect also oversaw the construction of the building so my Mother always spoke of her father as an architect/builder. My Father liked my Grandfather, which was high praise. Dad said that Grandpa Houghton was a gentleman and interesting. But he died. before I was born, which my Father always said was a shame. He did not think so well of Grandma Houghton because she was a bit of a princess. My Mother also spoke highly of her father. Grandpa Houghton worked in the family business in London but at some point he branched out on his own and went to South Africa to build, leaving the family of five children by themselves in Wales. I have a letter from the Corps Officer from the Corps in Wales being sad they were leaving for Canada. Next in 1911, he moved the whole family to Victoria, B.C. where they lived in a lovely home complete with gardens and household help. By then he was involved in the Salvation Army. Grandpa Houghton was walking to the train to go home when he heard William Booth speaking at a street meeting. He went home and told his wife that they needed to go and listen to this man, who had started The Salvation Army. The next evening they returned and became life long members. Two of their children became Salvation Army officers in Canada. After the children left home, Grandma and Grandpa Houghton became SA Envoys. In other words they were unpaid employees. They went north and taught at an Indian school for several years. Now my brother and I differ. I thought Grandpa Houghton died of colon cancer. Dave said pneumonia. My brother saw Grandpa twice before he died and reported that as a child he was a bit forbidding. Dave thought they went to live with my Aunt in Montreal because he lost his money in the early part of the depression. I recall that they moved to live with Aunt Miriam after he was ill. I have only one cousin who might have information. But that is all I know of my Grandpa Houghton. The most important aspect of him was that according to my Father, he was a kindly Christian Victorian gentleman. He treated his wife gently and lovingly and always sat beside her at the dining table. The last thing he did at the end of the meal was to take a half piece of bread, butter it, and give it to his lovely wife. He loved his wife and family to the end. I wish I had known him.

May 4, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Simple Pleasures.

Last Thursday, my BSF group went out to lunch together. I was sitting beside our group leader. During the conversation, she asked me if I ever started the day feeling grumpy. I said no and the conversation moved on to other things. Later in the day, I wondered why I do not get grumpy. And I decided that when I was a young adult, I learned the value of simple pleasure each day that made me feel good, so I never dwelt on the difficulty of the day. I found that the little things make you feel good each day, not necessarily the big events. Every Wednesday when I came home from teaching, I stopped into a tiny convenience store across the street from the hardware store where we lived. I bought a fresh loaf of rye break for 19 cents. The lady who ran the store was handicapped and sit on a stool behind the counter. She was friendly. The fresh bread only came on Wednesday. As we were poor, the 19 cent expenditure was a big deal. But it was delicious. And that simple pleasure gave me a sense of joy, way above any real value. This morning I ate a slice of multi grain toast covered with creamed cheese, along with raspberries, strawberries and walnuts. The whole plate pleased me, just looking at it for my breakfast. And the cook Dreisys came this morning with my food for the week. She cooks at home, now that she has a new baby so she only stays 15 minutes or so, but it pleases me to see her. I am pleased to have my meals brought to me but the bigger part is the short visit. I have always been able to find some simple event to keep giving me pleasure. This is especially true in the Spring, when the whole world becomes a magical place. Certainly, no need to be grumpy. I just find something simple to give me pleasure. Then all will be well.

May 3, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Lunch With Eleanor.

These young ladies indulge me I know. I invite them one by one to come to have coffee with me at my home. These young ladies are all friends of Christina. By now they are also friends of mine. Every so often I invite them, one by one, to have lunch with me. I select the restaurant and we meet there. I take a Lyft. Then they drive me home. I know they indulge me because they know I am learning to live by myself and I am often lonely. For them, because they all have children at home, they get a break from their heavy responsibilities and chat with me in a lovely restaurant. My system seems to work for both of us. Today I met Eleanor for lunch at Amerigo, a fine Italian restaurant in Ridgeland. We had a good time. And we ate excellent food. Half of my food is in the fridge for tomorrows lunch. Eleanor is a wonderful artist so we always have a conversation about whether or not she is painting. Unfortunately, at the moment, she is not painting but she intends to b get back to it this summer. She home schools the four children so she is a busy lady. I am always urging her to get organized so she can paint. Her middle child is talented artistically and on the piano and has asked her Mother to give her painting lessons. Eleanor this will begin the lessons this summer. Her method of teaching will be to paint alongside her daughter who will also be painting. So Eleanor will paint and describe what she is doing along with helping her daughters painting with suggestions. Eleanor needs to be painting. As her husband Jim mentioned to me, "Eleanor is too fine an artist not to be painting." I agree. Eleanor is a good friend and I enjoy her company. And I especially appreciate her taking the time from her busy days to stop and come for lunch with me. The best gift anyone could give to an old lady is the gift of time. Today I got it from Eleanor and I was grateful.

May 2, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Stupidity In Action.

I am always surprised when I do something that is just stupid. These things have happened to me all my life, but fortunately not very often. Once I went through a whole day using the wrong date on my calendar. Obviously, I missed several appointment but it took until late in the day until I figured it out. Just stupidity. Years ago I made two appointment for the same time period even though they were both written on my calendar. How could I have done that when I was looking right at the day book? Two appointments at exactly at the same time would be impossible. Fortunately I woke up but had some explaining and rescheduling to do. Last week I did another stupid thing. Fortunately in the middle of the night I figured out what I had done so I retrieved the letter from the postman. No harm was done. Wonderful Wendy filled in the form required to activate my benefits and she sent it into OPM along with the two required copies, the death certificate and our marriage license. It was being processed. But last Thursday I received a letter telling me to fill out the attached form. I thought it was additional information so I filled it out and attached the copies and put on a stamp. And left it for the postman the next day. In the middle of the night I decided that the form was the same so I called OPM to ask. My case was approved and yes, the form was the same so she urged me not to send a duplicate. So I retrieved the letter which now sits ready to put in the file. At the moment it serves as a reminder of my stupidity. Once again, I was kept humble. No one ever tells me about the stupid things they do so perhaps it is just me. I think it is kind of funny and I laugh at myself. But I certainly hope the incidents do not increase. Fortunately, I have done these things every so often over my life. Sometimes I just do not connect the dots. Odd I think.

May 1, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. My Helper.

In honor of my sister's birthday, I ran errands. Carol always had a long list of tasks to accomplish before the day was done, so today I decided to run errands with my helper Kashina. As I have gotten older, I need more help and have had no problem asking for help. But without my helper here at home I would have trouble. Fortunately, Kashina helps me two days a week. I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic. It was the first night after Ken died. Ken had helpers all year but now I would no longer have the helpers. But it downed on my that I could ask Kashina to work for me twice a week. After I figured out that solution, I no longer was anxious. I was not trapped. Today was a perfect example. Kashina drives my car. First we went to the shoe repair man to have a sole glued back in place. Next we drove to Target, where I needed a container to hold Ken's canes plus new pants and shirts for me. The store was mostly empty which made life easier for me. Kashina helped look for objects and a nice young man helped us too. It turned out that he was the big manager but he helped me look for clothes for me. Pretty nice. Next up we went for lunch at Logan's Roadhouse, just across the street from the shopping center. Then I went into Krogers grocery store while Kashina waited in the car. I needed fruit and berries. The shoes were ready so we picked them up. On the way home we stopped for gas. When we got home, Kashina brought the groceries plus all my Target belongings into the house. By then it was almost 4:00 so Kashina left. Our day was successful. For me to accomplish all those tasks myself would have been difficult. It would have been several different Lyft trips. So I was smart to decide to hire Kashina. She has made my life much easier since Ken died. I am not shy in asking help when I am out by myself. I ask to take an arm when the hostess is taking me to a table in the restaurants. Fortunately, I always get the help I need. But Kashina is the biggest help of all. And I am grateful.