Greetings everyone. This is David, Ruth's son.
Ruth passed away last night. She lived a long and full life, and did it her way until the very end. She had a relentlessly positive outlook on life, an inspiration to me and many others. Her last words to Suzanne and me were "My bags are packed and I have checked off my list. Now I need you to organize my medicines."
All the Best,
David
Early this morning, Ruth took her last journey and passed away. Having tucked into bed yesterday, with stronger medicine for her pain and her Pennsylvania quilts keeping her warm, she went peacefully in her sleep. Our hearts break for the loss of an incredible woman - a mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother - but are comforted by the fact that she is no longer in pain.
Ruth was planning, down to her final moments. She informed us that she would celebrate her annual Christmas and birthday party on the 9th, and then she would be ready to go. And she followed that plan, to the letter. Though her body would not let her attend Saturday's gathering, her family and friends toasted in her honor and visited her bedside afterwards. Ruth a was a generous soul, and planned for her life to be celebrated in this time-honored holiday tradition.
Still, we mourn the great emptiness she has left in her wake. Ruth lit up any room with a personality that was larger than life. She left a lasting impression on everyone she met with her intellect, her tenacity, and her keen sense of humor. She often held court in her home and her work, and always had an eye and an ear open for the thoughts of those around her. We remember her "-isms", and always snapped to attention when she began a reflection with "I find it fascinating..."
In all her rambling, from her life in Canada, to Ken's residency and Andrew and David's births in Texas, to her picnic group in Maryland, to her career in D.C., to her globetrotting from Mississippi to Mexico to Texas to Canada and many other stops along this way, Ruth met and befriended countless people. She married Ken and grew a family of sons and daughters-in-law and granddaughters, all of whom she loved and encouraged to "press on to the next steps, whatever they may be." Ruth hardly sat still in body or mind, and when her body became weak and her stamina diminished, her mind worked valiantly to keep processing the world around her. She smiled to hear the words of love and comfort from her friends and family, near and far - of which there were many.
Ruth rambles from this world a loved and respected woman. As we reckon with the loss of her, we cherish her memory and the lessons with which she has left us. As we toasted her on Saturday, we raise a proverbial glass in her memory now: Cheers to Ruth, and her ramblings, and the great wake of loved ones she leaves behind.
Monday, December 11, 2023, Sleeping
Greetings all. It is Suzanne writing for Ruth today. She is in a place where she is unable to direct us as she would like so I am taking it upon my self to share what I think she wants me to. Ruth is asleep most of the time now and is taking stronger medicine to help her with the pain. When she is able to speak with us she is making plans and organizing things as was her way when getting ready for a trip. We have no idea when her last journey will take place but she is as comfortable as we can make her. As we all know, Ruth is a stoic and somewhat private person about her challenges and is ready for us to leave her be. We will return as soon as we are needed. Yesterday, she enjoyed speaking with her brother and having Christina, Molly, Mary Frances, David and I around as we continued the tradition of Sunday brunch. We read her the cards and texts that arrived and shared stories and laughter. There were three birds sitting in the tree outside her bedroom window yesterday evening as she went to sleep. It is a beautiful sunny, cold and crisp day here in Madison and Ruth is resting. She knows she is loved and I believe, she is ready for her final trip.
December 10, 2023 The Christmas Party
Greetings all. It's Suzanne and David. We are here in Mississippi for Ruth's annual Christmas Party. It was held last night at the Yacht Club as it has been for many years. It has always brought Ruth joy to throw a party especially for her friends and family and last night was no different. Ruth made a valiant effort to attend, donning a lovely navy dress, however her body would not allow her to get there even though her spirit was determined to make it so. We toasted Ruth in her absence and shared a wonderful meal with her Mississippi family. Those who were able came back to the house to share their love for our gracious hostess. Ruth enjoyed seeing everyone and most of all she was happy that the party was a success. Cheers to Ruth and her memorable celebrations over these many years!!
This is the last post I will be doing for Ruth's blog. I leave tomorrow to head back to Ontario for all the Buckley birthdays (including Irene's 90th birthday) and Christmas festivities that Ruth was planning to attend.
Ruth started this blog when she turned 70, intending to do it for 10 years. It has now been going for 16 years as she continued to travel and update everyone on where she was and what she was doing. But her traveling days are over, and Rambling with Ruth is winding down. As Ruth's annual Christmas/Birthday party is being held at the Yacht Club this weekend, family and friends will be gathering, and hopefully someone will step up as the guest blogger. I'll be checking every morning with my coffee in hand!
As Ruth says, much love!
Ruth is 86 years old today! What an achievement especially given how active she has been until very recently. She heard from many friends and family who phoned or sent greetings by text, email, and social media. And others came by to see her and bring flowers which are sitting on the counter between the kitchen and living room. Her caregiver even brought a small strawberry cream cake, and we are trying to encourage her to eat some of it tonight. I spared her the trauma of listening to me sing Happy Birthday.
Ruth feels very blessed and grateful for all her friends and family and sends much love.
Wendy
Wendy again. Ruth was up early this morning sitting in the armchair in her little TV room off the bedroom, with the sun streaming in from over the reservoir. It is an absolutely delightful place to be.
Ruth ate some oatmeal, and made it quite clear I should not have put peanut butter in it, but she ate it and I felt better for sneaking in a bit of protein! In the afternoon she thoroughly enjoyed a wonderful homemade chicken broth brought by a good friend. Hopefully tonight we can get her to eat some more soup, and maybe even some ice cream.
Ruth really appreciates all the cards and best wishes. I've been reading Christmas cards and birthday cards to her as they arrive, as well as emails and texts. She also received a lovely Christmas flower arrangement today from a nephew and his wife in Canada which is brightening up her home. And best of all she had visits today from friends stopping by to say hello and check on how she's doing. It really helps her spirits.
Wendy again. Ruth always gives me a list of tasks when I visit and one of them on this trip was to help her complete all the envelopes for her Christmas Cards. The card is beautiful, with lovely pictures front and back of Ruth smiling, surrounded by her family.
The first night I was here we managed part of the names from one letter of the alphabet, with my asking questions about each one in my attempts to decipher either her handwriting or her cryptic short forms. She knew what everything meant, but it wasn't always clear to me, so it took a while. The list had 20+ years of changes and corrections, which were not always easy to follow. The intent was we would work away at the list a bit at a time, but it was obviously far too tiring for Ruth to continue. So I have done the best I can over the last few days to address the cards and today I drove to the post office, got stamps for them all and sent them off.
My sincerest apologies if there are errors or omissions, and I certainly hope that I sorted out the right names with the right addresses. I also apologize for the non-festive nature of the stamps, but apparently the US Postal Service does not have any Christmas stamps available, at least at the Madison PO. I mean it's only December!
This is Ruth's niece Wendy again, updating on activities here at Ruth's beautiful place in Mississippi. I started the day by cooking bacon and eggs, as I recall Ruth mentioning that Ken always made bacon on Sunday mornings. She had a bit of the egg, which I was pleased about, and some smoothie. Every day I make a slightly different flavour, and today's had some strawberries and banana in addition to the yoghurt and apple juice.
Apparently it is a tradition to watch Aerial America on Sunday mornings, and Ruth was up early (for her) to direct me to find the right channel so she could watch it while she ate breakfast.
The traditions continued as Christina, Mary Frances and Molly arrived at noon with wonderful brunch from Aladdin's Mediterranean Restaurant. Ruth was pleased to have them here, and listened to all the conversation around her, although she would have preferred to be more alert and able to take part in the discussions. Both the nausea and pain medications make her sleepy which frustrates her. She certainly did enjoy her taste of tiramisu, an early birthday treat, surrounded by loving family.
Sunday afternoon football continued today's traditions, as Ruth watched part of the game between San Francisco 49ers and the Philadelphia Eagles. Ruth does love her sports. Normally she would have talked to my dad, Dave Buckley, about the various sports games they'd watched but phone conversations are difficult for her now.
Today was the first day of having a caregiver on Sunday. Her regular daytime caregiver only works Monday to Saturday, but given Ruth's condition she now needs someone here every day. Now there will be someone here all day and night, 7 days a week, to help ensure Ruth is well cared for.
Sorry I have been remiss in posting Ruth's blog. This is her niece Wendy (Buckley). I arrived in Mississippi on Thursday and have been hoping to get Ruth's input on the blog, but she is really struggling so I will just go ahead and post for her.
Ruth is certainly not doing as well as she would like. For someone who has always been active and taking charge of everything, it's tough to see that right now even communicating her needs is a struggle. We've been trying to find a solution to her constant feeling of nausea and her difficulty eating. We're trying smoothies which hopefully will help get some nourishment into her.
Ruth is getting a lot of love and support from family, friends and neighbours and has a team of caregivers coming in to help her out day and night. Christina will be here tomorrow for the traditional Sunday brunch, and David and Suzanne arrive late next week. I'm here until December 8th so will try to do a better job of keeping everyone up to date.
