June 30, 2014. Harper, Texas. Getting Old.

It is pathetic but true. At our age, which is 76 and almost 78, we can not change our own light bulbs. In Nova Scotia, we have it covered when Mal comes to visit. The first task upon arrival for Mal is to walk through the whole house and replace light bulbs. But at the ranch we have a problem. Our house, the one we call The Top House, has 9 foot ceilings and we are too unsteady on the step ladder to reach up high to remove the cover and change the bulb. Fortunately we are not here very much so few bulbs burn out. One of the things that happens when houses are empty is that lights get left on. When we went into the ranch house last week two lights had been left on, both in bathrooms. Fortunately the bulbs had not burned out. Our Top House light in the commode room of the master bedroom was left on and is now burned out. To function, we just keep the door open to the rest of the bathroom. I suspect the cleaning folks leave the lights on and I must mention it to him. In the meantime, we wait until someone young and tall comes to visit, or perhaps Mal will visit us in Texas. If it is still burned out in the Fall, I perhaps will call Pat, our electrician and general handy man. But we are doing fine at the moment. It is just a reminder of how old we have become!!

June 29, 2014. Canyon Lake, Texas. An Ordinary Day.

Some times the ordinary days turn out to be the best days. Ken and I arrived at the Texas family home by 1:30, which meant we spent a lazy morning at the lake. I drank two cups of Ken's good coffee. When we arrived, the four girls were in their rooms so the house was quiet. Suzanne left for the grocery store while David continued to work on his walkway to the deck. He is installing a smoker as well so he has torn up his paving stones, added drainage and now will redo the walkway. Yesterday we accompanied David to buy a set of binoculars for the house. Several of his bird houses are active but with your naked eye you could not distinguish one bird from another. I pointed out to him that one sparrow is not the same as another sparrow. We three sat and watched the birds feed their babied and with the help of his new glasses and the Sipley bird book we decided that he had a nest of black chinned sparrows, so that was satisfying. Next on our schedule was watching the World Cup, Greece against Costa Rico. As the afternoon went along, one by one the girls appeared until we all ended up watching TV together. In the meantime, we all helped sort the groceries and Suzanne prepared dinner, which was spaghetti and meatballs, with everything made at home. If you asked all of us about our day, we would say that we did nothing exceptional, which would be true. But it was an ordinary day but one that was extraordinarily pleasant.

June 28, 2014. Canyon Lake. The Mission.

Abigail was the only child at home all week while the other three went on a mission to Orlando, Florida. She was not totally happy being the only child. She did comment to Suzanne that you talk to me all the time. But this evening Suzanne and I picked the 3 girls up at church at 6:30 so by 7;30 the family was complete and once again, Abigail did not need to talk. Their trip was a great success. All the way home they regaled us with stories of what they ate and where they slept and what they did all day. I have no clue whether or not they helped anyone but they worked hard and they worked diligently and they met many new friends. While in Orlando, they stayed in a church and slept on the floor of the Sunday School rooms. The church was not a wealthy church. They showered in outside tents, with two tents for 45 girls, of course with no hot water. And as it was outside, they were forced to wear bathing suits and shoes in the shower. The group decision is to not move to Florida due to the heat and humidity. But one afternoon they all went to the beach, which they enjoyed. The girls were divided into work groups of six. Samantha spent her time working at a home for old folks with dementia. She actually enjoyed it. Allison spent her time serving breakfast and lunch to the homeless at a shelter while Sarah helped all week at the church Vacation Bible School. So each girl made their individual contribution. I did point out that they could have worked at the same places in San Antonio but Ken correctly pointed out to me that the girls travelled by van from Texas to Florida, thus seeing the country. Half the group from San Antonio were from a different church so they made new friends. Others on the mission were from North Carolina so they heard a different accent. And most importantly, they had a blast, so when you add it all up, for the girls it was a success and I should not rain on their parade. But I was pleased to have they home safe and sound and so were David and Suzanne.

June 27, 2014. Harper, Texas. 50 Years.

It all went by in the twinkling of an eye. On June 26, 1964, Ken and I crossed the border into The United States in Detroit. traveling on our green card visa heading for Galveston, Texas. Ken had completed his year of Internship and now was taking a Residency in Internal Medicine at The University of Texas Medical Branch. We headed west before driving south as the southern states were a hot bed of demonstrations and we thought that driving a northern car may not be a good idea. I was teaching on June 26, so my Mother and her friend Olive, our cleaning lady, along with Ken, loaded our car, complete with the ironing board resting on the top of our clothes. We must have been a sight as everything we were taking was in that car. What a car it was. It was the best car we have ever owned, a Ford Galaxie Xl hard top with power to burn. When I got home from school, Ken and I drove away cheerfully, heading to our future in the United States. We both feel that moving to a warmer climate has extended Ken's life. The surgeon suggested to Ken in 1963 that with his lungs, he should think about living in a warm climate, so we did. For 6 years we lived in Galveston and in 1970 we moved to Washington, DC, which has a more moderate climate than Toronto or Montreal. We have not regretted our move but we do live in Nova Scotia for the summer, thus calling ourselves summer residents of Canada. We have the best of both worlds but it all started 50 years ago on June 26, 1964.

June 26, 2014. Harper, Texas. A Crown of Thorns.

My Mother was a wise woman. One day when I was a teen, I mentioned that a woman Salvation Army Officer to whom we had just been speaking, seemed lacking in joy and enthusiasm, which to me seemed unusual. My Mother explained to me that the woman's baby had died as an infant and that she had used the death as her crown of thorns ever since, even though this had occurred fifteen years before. My Mother's comment was not a compliment. I believe my Mother thought the lady foolish and selfish. My grandmother Houghton was a wise woman too. Even though she had two grandchildren die when they were young, she never was heard to complain. Her attitude to her grandchildren was always one of gratitude. I will learn from my elders and from my child. I will not use the death of our dear son Andrew to wear as my crown of thorns for the rest of my life. Nor will I complain. Rather, I will attempt to follow son David's statement to me, when he said, "Mother, our task is to get along with our lives as cheerfully as possible, because we have no other choice.". We all agreed that our happy hearts are returning, but slowly.

June 25, 2014. Harper, Texas. Double D Ranch.

Yesterday was an unusual day. When we arrived at out home at the ranch, the one we call "The Top House", every thing was working. Both air conditioners were doing their jobs. After a phone call to Wild Blue, the Internet worked. As we drove to the ranch, I was complaining that we have no TV but as we drove into the yard, I spotted a satellite dish that said Dish Television. We had forgotten that we installed and signed onto Dish TV, so another phone call got us 250 channels on our television. Everything in our home was running like a top. What that meant for me today put me into hog heaven. Eating breakfast this morning I watched Wimbleton tennis followed by two World Cup soccer games. I was happy as a clam all day. In between watching TV, I unloaded the truck and incorporated the stuff we brought into the house. Our home is small but we had many empty cabinets so I tucked things away where I will probably never find them. But mostly I watched TV. Ken and I are delighted that everything is working as we have not been here since November. But we laughed that neither of us had recalled ordering the television with Dish. Is this a sign of old age, or is it a sign that we live in the moment? Once we have left the ranch we do not think about it, until we return. I prefer the latter but who cares. I am just pleased I can watch more tennis and more soccer right in my own home!!

June 24, 2014. Harper, Texas. Kit Fox.

Fortunately I was the driver so I spotted the fox on the road and slowed way down. Then I stopped and watched even though I was right on a curve on the road. Both Ken and I knew immediately that we were looking at a fox but the fox was small and the tail was almost as long as the body. The fox walked off the road and stopped to look back at us so we got a long and good look at this small fox. The fox had a dark stripe down it's back and along the tail, with the tip of the tail all black. We were puzzled but we both agreed that we had seen a fox. When we arrived at the Top House at the ranch, it did not take me long to read the Mammals of Texas book to tell me that we had been looking at a Kit Fox. There are four foxes in Texas and we had seen the endangered fox. It mostly is nocturnal but often they can be seen in the day time lounging close to their den of kits, which is probably what he was doing when we spotted him. According to the book, the Kit Fox is the smallest of the dog like creatures. It is a beautiful beast. Just three minutes down the road we spotted a whole herd of hares, the big rabbits with long pink ears. I drive more slowly on back roads that Ken and today it paid off by seeing a Kit Fox for the first time and watching a whole bunch of big rabbits. Some days you just get lucky.

June 23, 2014. Canyon Lake, Texas. The Antler Cafe.

Almost every time Ken and I visit Texas Marilyn and Richard come to visit. As they winter in Houston, our schedules often overlap and find us both in Texas at the same time. We always enjoy their company but they never stay long, which means we have lots to talk about the next time. Their pattern is to spend several summer months in the mountains of Colorado but Richard has donated his trout farm and property to the state. This summer he will shut down his home and get rid of their belongings and leave Colorado for good. They drove to the lake from Houston this morning, and arrived after lunch. As we always do, we sat and talked. They wanted to know details of our long trip and of our various cruises. When we got tired of sitting, we moved to the deck and drank wine and talked some more. Richard's only son died five years in a motorcycle accident so he knows all about grief so we talked for ages about Andrew. It is the first extended conversation we have had about Andrew when neither of us cried, so this is a good thing. Then I did a bad thing. I suggested that we go out for dinner as we had not yet gone to the grocery store. Everyone agreed to the plan which was to go to a new restaurant on Highway 46 called the Antler Cafe. It was kind of a Texas honkey tonk and funky but the food was fine. The problem was that I suggested we dine out and I suggested the restaurant, but Richard and Marilyn paid the bill!! Marilyn reminded me that when they visited us in Nova Scotia I had paid the bill. "This is pay back", she said. I really should have gone to the grocery store. Being lazy is never a good thing. Tonight they will drive to San Antonio and visit the museums and galleries tomorrow, pretending to be tourists. And we look forward to seeing them when we return to Texas in the fall. Our time together is always delightful.

June 22, 2014. Canyon Lake, Texas. Auctions.

Auctions have their own market. I have seen shirts being offered for sale where there were no takers, until the auctioneer began. Quickly, the shirts were sold. People with no intention of buying, end up going home with a truck full of objects purchased at the auction. It is interesting to observe at a country auction. For the past two Saturdays at our farm in Pennsylvania, every object in both houses was sold at an auction, held on site. It is normal in rural Pennsylvania to auction the household furniture and other objects. Some of the pieces sold at the auctions were purchased by me at an auction forty years ago. Now both houses are empty. Many friends have suggested that this is sad but I do not feel that way. It is a wonderful method of recycling. It is true that each object had a story, lovingly purchased. Now those same objects will be enjoyed by other families. My Grandmother Houghton wrote a letter to my Mother, telling how pleased she was to be traveling by train to live with her other daughter Miriam in Ottawa, bringing only her clothes. All her other earthly belongings were gone, which gave her great joy. I always wondered how she got to that stage. After all, at one time she lived in a fully furnished home. Now she had only her clothes. I always wished that I had asked her, but of course, when she was alive, I was not interested. But now I have done the same thing myself. Both Ken and I are delighted that our two houses at the farm are empty with every object sold. It took us 44 years to purchase all those objects and they were sold on two Saturdays. Of course, we cheated. We have put into storage all our art and family pictures, the good china and crystal, selected books, all quilts, and four pieces of furniture. We are definitely not shedding all our worldly possessions. I suspect that was what my grandmother meant. We are doing it for practical reasons, not religious. But thank heavens for auctions. What would we have done with all that stuff??

June 21, 2014. Canyon Lake, Texas. Gennaro's Trattorio.

Gennaro's Trattoria is the best restaurant on the lake by far. Suzanne told me about this new restaurant on Thursday so yesterday, as we had no food at the lake, Ken and I went there for lunch. We had many surprises. The first surprise was the parking lot. It was full. It was about 1:15 but we were forced to park on the grass at the end of the lot. "This is a good sign, for a new restaurant to have a full parking lot", said Ken. Fortunately, just as we were arriving, one couple left, commenting to us as they they left that we could take their table as it was full. This is Texas after all. Everyone speaks to you. We decided to order our main meal of the day and as we were inspecting the menu at length, I ordered an antipasto. Before it arrived, the waitress brought us hot bread. Delicious hot seasoned bread. This was our second surprise. We could have eaten a whole meal with the bread and olive oil with herbs. The antipasto was served on a beautiful wooden platter. It looked beautiful and tasted even better, made up of olives, mushrooms, artichokes, salami, cheese, thin ham and greens. A perfectly acceptable lunch would have been antipasto and bread as this next surprise was terrific. Our main course was delicious, salmon for me and mixed seafood for Ken. The excellent main course I expected would be good and we will enjoy our leftovers soon along with the Tirimisu for dessert. The old fashioned style was wonderful. We will enjoy it for lunch today. The last surprise was when I asked the waitress when they had opened. This is a spot that has seen several restaurants come and go. "Two year:", she said. We just laughed. Where have we been that this fine restaurant is brand new to us? That was the biggest surprise of all, to realize how out of touch we are at Canyon Lake!!

June 20, 2014. Canyon Lake, Texas. Modern Families.

Next week, my niece will be working in San Diego. Christina and the girls will be in Maine after spending three days in Boston. Allison, Samantha and Sarah are going on a Mission for a week to a church in Orlando. The Texas family returned on the 20th from a 12 day vacation in Paris. Modern Families go places and do things. It is great sport and wonderful training as well as having lots of fun. My friend Sonya once commented to me that she hopes to travel to all the places her girls had visited during their high school years. Next year, the Texas family hope to take a vacation to Italy. What started out as a family RV trip has changed to a vacation to parts unknown. They always travel at the end of the school year. Last year they spent 10 days in London and the year before they took the train to Chicago. They loved Chicago and the train ride north but the train ride home was tedious. In France they rode the bullet train, which travels 268 mph. They loved it. The interesting part is that many people never leave the county in which they were born and over 50% of American have no passport. The modern family seems to be at both ends of the spectrum, either traveling a lot or not at all. I once read a report that if folks do not travel by 16, they never learn to enjoy traveling, but I was just told by my friend that for the first time ever her husband planned a trip to Europe and he loved every minute of the journey. I guess in the modern world you can teach old dogs new tricks!!

June 19, 2014. Canyon Lake, Texas. 1996.

We bought this lake house in 1996 before Sarah was born. At the same time, a bakery opened in Satler. It was owned and run by a retired couple who just wanted something to do. They had retired to Canyon Lake from Wisconsin and found that they could volunteer and golf every day but they decided to buy the old bakery. At first they sold bread and pastries and breakfast. Their food was so good they became overwhelmed with work so they hired people. Then they began serving lunch. All went well. Over the years, we have gotten to know the old folks. The last time we were there for breakfast in November, the husband could hardly walk and the wife used a cane. The food was still good but the outside seemed run down. Ken commented at that time that he did not think these folks could keep this place running much longer. Today, Ken and I stopped for lunch. The outside still looks run down but the hours have been extended to 7 days a week and the menu is new. All the old owners and staff were gone. In our absence, this bakery has been sold. The food was still good. We will see what happens to our bakery. 18 years is a long time to run a bakery, especially when you retired before you opened the place. We will miss them but they certainly deserve a rest!!

June 18, 2014. Palestine, Texas. FIFA 2014.

This was a first for us. This afternoon, we listened to the FIFA 2014 game between Chile and Spain. Neither Ken nor I are in love with watching soccer on TV but the radio commentators made the game interesting, so we listened to the whole game. It was exciting and certainly made the miles go by quickly. Spain won the tournament in 2010 so they expected to be through into the later rounds but they lost to the Netherlands and today they lost to Chile, so Spain has been eliminated from the tournament. They play Australia tomorrow, but neither team will advance. Hurrah for Chile. I love to see underdogs win. I have been deprived of television for the past two months. We have no TV in the condo nor at the farm so I missed all the Spurs playoff games and all the hockey playoffs and I have yet to see any FIFA games, even though the tournament is already one week into the schedule. I was looking forward to watching some FIFA games tonight in the motel, but a transformer was hit by lightning this afternoon and the TV will not work. They should refund my money!!

June 17, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. A Send Off.

Here we go again, getting back on the road. Tomorrow we begin the drive to Texas. It is a ten hour drive but we usually spend two days getting there. Our plan is to drive straight across Louisiana on highway 20, then head on the diagonal across Texas to Canyon Lake. The drive is pleasant. To send us off, Eleanor and Jim invited the six of us for dinner at their beautiful home in the country. Eleanor has been drawing and I asked to see what she had done, so she kindly invited us all for dinner. Her drawings are of the children and of Jim. They are beautiful. She does them in charcoal. Such talent. After dinner, and with no rehearsal, the five older children played the piano for the adults sitting in the living room. It was all very civilized and pleasant. Good friends and excellent food makes for a fine evening, especially when entertained by the young folks. It was a great send off for us.

June 16, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. The Weather.

It is hot here in Mississippi. Today was 92 degrees. Texas was even worse at 95. Ken has observed that he does not even sweat at this temperature as he has become accustomed to the heat. Normally we are not in the south during the four hot months but this year we will be in Texas until mid July and it will be hot. Since the end of December, Ken and I have been in warm air. The coolest we have felt has been 70 degrees. Ken thinks he might need to wear long johns in Nova Scotia. I looked at the forecast for this week in Western Head and it will not get to 70 and the nights 50. Unfortunately, our light silk underwear has been stored so he will be forced to wear winter underwear. Perhaps by the time we arrive the temperature will hit 75 and maybe even 80. The only way to survive in the heat is to stay indoors or swim. Fortunately, the air conditioning works well. People here walk early in the morning. I love the swimming pool at 90. You do not freeze coming out. We have become to feel normal at 85 degrees. We will freeze in Nova Scotia when we first arrive but we will get used to it. I just wear my wool socks!!

June 15, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. Father's Day.

Father’s Day was started in the 1930’s by the tie and tobacco pipe industry. My own father always said it was a commercial venture rather than a day to truly honor fathers, so it was not a big deal in our family. I have never thought that the two concepts were mutually exclusive. In other words, the day could be a commercial success and also honor fathers. I have no recollection of giving gifts to my father on Father’s Day. He wanted us to honor him every day, and we did. My father spoiled me. At night when I was reading in bed, he brought me cinnamon toast. And he always peeled my oranges. He polished my shoes every Saturday night, along with all the other folks at home. Perhaps it is just a faulty memory, but I do not recall my father ever punishing me as a child. Unfortunately, he died too young at age 62 so neither David or Andrew knew him. Andrew looked like him though so if you look at Mary Frances you will see a bit of my father as she takes after Andrew. We were seven at brunch today and only one father, Ken. But we honored all the fathers, present and those who have passed on. We honored them by having a thoroughly enjoyable meal, full of lively conversation and good food. And Linda paid the bill which pleased us all with her kind gesture. The day could have been difficult, but it was not. Our fathers would have been pleased with us.

June 14, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Ballet Competition.

Every four years, the International Ballet Competition is held in Jackson. It is their permanent site in the United States. Every year the competition is held somewhere, either in Russia, or Japan or Argentina. We are lucky to live in Jackson and have arranged to be here to attend some of the dancing. Top dancers from other countries apply for the competition. Winning almost guarantees that you will be hired. The dancers are all looking to become professionals so the quality of the dance is high. Tomorrow afternoon we six will attend the first of the competitions. The dancers are required to dance one piece of classical and one modern. Tuesday afternoon is the second section of round number one. We will attend it too. Four years ago, the dancing was wonderful and I expect it will be again. Who would know that Jackson, Mississippi is a hot bed of ballet in the United States. They have two professional dance companies that tour the world. In the whole of Washington, DC there is one. Next time the competition is held in Jackson, in 2018, I hope to be here to attend every session. I am counting on being here, even though I will be 80. We must plan ahead!!

June 13, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. Susan M.

She did everything right. She even took us out for lunch. Susan knows I was in the real estate business but she does not really know what I actually did, so she is not impressing me. She just did her job properly. Yesterday, Ken and I arranged to look at property with our agent Susan M. She helped us buy our present condo and also worked with Andrew and Christina with their home purchase, so we have history. I asked her to show the units for sale in our complex and to show us two homes on the reservoir.. She arrived on time. Her car was clean. She gave us copies of properties we were seeing that day. She gave us bottles of cool water. In addition to the properties we asked about she included another subdivision we had not seen before. And she drove us to see the properties. By the end of the morning, we had learned exactly what we wanted, which was that when we are ready to buy, we will have options. The only problem was that I invited her to lunch but she paid the bill. I was embarrassed especially as she knows that we will not be buying a place any time soon. But it was a pleasure to watch a professional at work. She did exactly what we needed and she did it efficiently and pleasantly. It almost makes me wish I was once again a real estate agent.

June 12, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. Cleaning.

My mother always joked that she was not placed in this world to clean the house, but she did it anyway. And she cleaned cheerfully. But she was delighted the year both she and I had a housekeeper clean our apartments. That year of 1963, Ken was an intern and I was teaching so I hired a cleaning lady. She had been at college with my mother and she was retired and just enjoyed cleaning apartments, so once a week she came in the morning to clean our apartment and after lunch she went to clean my Mother’s apartment. Then she ate dinner and visited with Mother, before Mother drove her home. Mother loved it and so did I. I still recall the feeling of returning home to find a spanking clean home. It was like the story of the shoemakers fairy who repaired the shoes overnight. I left for work with a dirty house and returned with everything clean. It was like magic. I fell in love with house cleaners. Our condominium in Mississippi is small. Charming but small, so Ken and I have cleaned the place. Ken runs the vacuum and I clean the kitchen and bathroom. But we don’t clean at the same time so the whole place is never clean top to bottom. Today a cleaning service came to clean. We left at 10:00 to see houses and when we returned we were met with the most wonderful sight and smell. The whole place was clean. It was worth every penny.

Nails

June 11, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. Group Pedicure.

Our group pedicures were a great success. All five of us sitting in a row being attended to by ladies making our feet beautiful was a sight for sore eyes. Yesterday when we were planning our excursion, Molly, who is 6, said she did not want to have people fiddling with her feet. We said fine. You can still have your nails painted, so she was happy. But this morning, after she saw all four of us sitting in the big fancy chairs, she changed her mind and came over to ask me if she could have a pedicure with everyone else. So she sat up in the big chair and soaked her feet in the warm water and waited. She stayed quiet as a mouse when they working on her feet. No complaints and no giggles. The rest of us luxuriated in the foot massage. It has been awhile since we had our nails together and we have never included Christina and Molly. But today it was ‘all in together girls’ kind of a day. Our custom after a pedicure is to have lunch together, so Ken joined us for lunch at Shuckers. It is very like a Texas honkey tonk, except it is Mississippi. They serve fish and oysters and chicken. Ken and I have dined there several times as it is close to the condo but the girls had never been there, which is why Ken suggested the restaurant. We six sat at a high round table and ate their delicious food. Molly ate fried oysters! The table was so high that Kate could not touch the floor, which had not happened to her for years. Our group pedicure and group lunch were a resounding success.

June 10, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. Mornings.

Being retired brings it’s pleasures, especially in the mornings. On the days when we have no appointments, Ken and I are lazy. Ken comes down and makes us both a cup of coffee and we read, me sitting on the couch and Ken at the counter eating breakfast. Not much talking and never any music, just reading. Soon Ken goes to the computer but I keep reading. Sometimes I eat breakfast at 10:00. We are both still in our nightshirts. It is delightful. Eventually we talk and figure out our day but we do not rush. We are both savoring the peace and quiet and the reading. Obviously we don’t do this every day. Sometimes we go for a walk in the morning and on other days we have responsibilities, but when we have nothing requiring our attention, we just stay home and enjoy ourselves and each other. Soon enough, before we notice, the morning has gone but we have enjoyed every moment.

June 9, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. Andrew Dickie.

Late in 2012 or early 2013, something happened. Up until that time, his business was growing with profit doubling each year. When building a business, the first three years are the most difficult but with two more years of steady growth, the business would have been solid from then on. For some reason, something happened and we will never know what. Did Andrew feel that he would never earn the money he wanted? Or could he not deal with the routine of running his business? Did he do such a poor job of the systems in his business that the companies no longer wished to deal with him? Whatever happened, his business declined during 2013 and 2014. I suspect that Andrew made his decision to end his life long before April of 2014. The thought that he could not or would not be able to support his family was not acceptable to him but he lived his life for as long as possible. And then he ended it. Two years ago I suggested to Andrew that he bring an administrative person into his business. Andrew was good at talking but not good at organizing or keeping track of details. Had he hired a detail person, I believe that Andrew would have survived. But we don’t really know because Andrew never asked for help. Such a tragedy.

June 8, 2014. Ridgeland, Pa. Estate Sales.

Estate auctions in rural Pennsylvania are common. Our first farm in Silver Mills in 1973 was furnished at those country auctions.. They were fun. The boys were allowed to bid on anything they wanted up to $2.00. They won boxes of stuff, much of which they took to our dump., but every so often there were treasures.. The auctioneer brings the objects out one at a time and in small groupings.. By the end of the auction, the house is cleaned out of objects while the trucks and cars of the bidders were full. Yesterday, an estate auction was held at our farm house in Artemas. Mr. Clarke and his helpers had moved all the furniture to the first level, ready to go for auction. First he was to start at the shed, with all the tools and equipment, then move to the basement stuff and finally, he would sell all our belongings from the back deck. So far, I have had no reports, other than the weather. Ken checked to see if it was raining, but it was a fine day. I had no desire to watch the proceedings but we were quietly cheering from Mississippi. You have two choices when considering the sale of all your accumulated treasures. You can fret about it or you can look forward to the future with fewer objects. The latter is our choice. We are ready for the future. On June 14, Mr. Clark will auction off the stuff in the Hill House. We hope for good weather.

June 7, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. More Homes.

Today we saw the outside of more beautiful homes, this time on the Reservoir. We drove over the spillway to the other side of the reservoir from our condo and followed as close as we could to the lake. Every time we found a subdivision, we went in. One nice area of homes had a gate. I have learned to hate gated communities when we are exploring. Yesterday, we just waited until someone was opening the gate. Then we followed them in. Today we had no luck. But I had no problem knocking on the door if the home was for sale. If no one answered, I looked in the windows and if there was no furniture, we walked around to the back yard. We saw several lovely dock and water front areas. Of course, we have no idea what these homes are selling for but we assume that as we are in Mississippi, we could afford them. Our problem is that we might not want a lovely home on the water. But we have seen many beautiful homes. The only thing we know for sure is that we need more space to live in Mississippi. It might be a bigger condominium or a place with land in the country. We are exploring all our options so we will be ready when the farm sells. My optimistic heart is returning.

June 6, 2014. Ridgeland, Ms. Homes on the Lakes.

Just north of Jackson, in Madison County, are four private small lakes. Ken and I drove around three of them today, up and down every street, wandering around the houses that were for sale. We saw beautiful homes in exquisite surroundings, all within a 45 minute drive from downtown Jackson. These areas were developed 15 years ago so by now, the homes are being sold. It was sister in law Katie who suggested we check out the lakes, so we did. We really only looked at the waterfront homes, but we did like what we saw. Our problem is trying to figure out what we want. Do we want country property where we can walk for an hour on our own land, but where we are somewhat isolated? Do we want to live in a community with people on all sides? We will also investigate the homes on the reservoir. Ken likes to have projects but he is wondering whether or not he is up to working any projects. It is a puzzle, trying to figure out the future. Of course, we have no clue what funds we will have when the farm sells. At the moment, we are just exploring our options, and checking them out one by one. The most interesting part of the day was to see these beautiful homes overlooking the lakes. We never expected such homes and settings in Mississippi.

June 5, 2014. Ridgeland, MS. A Circle of Caring.

Tonight, a friend of Christina’s brought dinner. Folks have been doing it from the moment of Andrew’s death seven weeks ago. Tonight, I read again the cards from friends and relatives.. Along with the e mails, it has been obvious to me that there has been a circle of caring all around, with our family right in the middle. I often felt as if I was enveloped in a giant hug.. The sentiment of the circle of caring was in a card sent by my friend Elley and has helped me to keep in mind the number of people sharing in my sorrow. I received cards from people I worked with 25 years ago and Bob Snider donated funds in Andrew’s name to an education group, even though I stopped working with him 25 years ago. I have been impressed with the level of caring. Another card said , “You will never be alone in the sorry you bear”. This from Wendy and Bob. All these cards and e mails and dinners have been helpful as we begin to build our life without Andrew. And then there have been the prayers. Everyone we know keeps us on their prayer list, giving us yet another area of support. All together and bit by bit, we are returning to a state with a happy heart, at least part of the time. We are doing it with the help and support of friends and family near and far. And we are grateful.

June 4, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Jaco's Tacos.

Immediately upon arrival, the children sat down at the tables. They seemed to organize themselves by age. It was fascinating to watch. The drinks were set out for the children so they very soon helped themselves . But I noted that they returned to their same table. The adults stood and drank Margaritas and chatted. This evening, Ken and I invited our Jackson friends to dinner at Jaco’s Tacos. These friends are good friends of Andrew and Christina and have been gracious to us by inviting us into their homes. By now, I feel they are our friends too. Our condo is small so we must entertain in restaurant. The children always have the best time but the adults enjoy it too.. It was easy. We served fajitas with all the trimmings so the kids could help themselves at any time. For dessert we ate bananas foster. The flames impressed both children and adults. A good time was had by all, including Ken and me.

June 3, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Country Property.

"What were they thinking", I said to myself. The property is just north of Canton. The owner spent a fortune planting trees and bushes. The 111 acres is fenced. The driveways, which are long, are paved. He built a 40acre pond with a covered dock and a boat slip. There is a swimming pool and a covered barbecue area. The three acres surrounding the house are fenced. Trees and flowers are everywhere. And there is security. To enter the property you use a code to open the gate. A separate code opens the gate to the house area.. On the back of the property there is a large four bay shed with high doors fit for large boats. This place is fancy and seems more like a city than a country place. Then you get to the house. First we must find the key, which is under a piece of sculpture on the front porch. After all the gates and codes and the security, I laughed about the key. The husband must have designed the house after he spent all his money on the grounds. The house is small, and dark. And the furniture is too big. The wife must have purchased all the furniture without first looking at the space. The house has all the bells and whistles except for space. When the farm sells, we will buy a larger property in Mississippi. One option is to keep our condo and buy a place in the country, so we were looking at this property with Denman, the agent that Andrew had worked with earlier this year. We liked Denman, and this property could work for us, but we did wonder why the owners built such a small odd house. I feel sure that folks looking at our farm wonder why we own two large houses on the same farm. The answer I guess is that everyone makes mistakes.

June 2, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Passing Parade.

It is not normally my cup of tea, but this book called Passing Parade, is worth reading. The subtitle is Obituaries and Appreciations, which pretty much tells you the whole story. Mark Steyn is an excellent writer, but usually about politics or music. For quite a while he wrote obituaries for several magazines, such as the Atlantic. This book pulls together some of his best. They are amusing and informative. As most of the people lived and died during my lifetime, I am familiar with the people he writes about so I find myself comparing my mental notes about the people with his writings. Most of the time, he has more to say. I never read obituaries in the papers but these written by Mark Steyn are light and breezy and entertaining. Just yesterday I downloaded the book to my iPad, after I had read a short article about the Mommas and Poppas, in which the book was briefly discussed. Much to my surprise, I looked it up, found out it was not expensive and have been reading it ever since. It is my first sustained reading since Andrew died.

June 1, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Appointments.

It is really very odd. Ken and I visit each doctor together and sometimes we see the doctor together in the same examining room. For instance, on Thursday, we had an appointment with the Cardiologist. Ken had by-pass surgery several years ago, and I miss a heart beat every now and then, so we must both see the cardiologist once a year. But until now, we have not seen the doctor together in the same room. Evidently, in the world of geriatrics, having couples together is a good idea because the doctor gets information from both parties. More importantly, the instructions are given to both. At our meeting with Dr. C., he recommended to Ken that he walk at least 30 minutes every day. I am sure, had I not been in the same room, I would have never heard that admonition. Our system of bringing all our doctors to Mississippi seemed like a good idea. Jackson is the site of the Medical school and the city is not huge so we can get to the appointments easily. Our problem now is that we spend our time while in Jackson visiting doctor's offices. Neither of us enjoys seeing doctors but during the three weeks we will in Jackson, we both have four appointments, all together, but probably we will be in different examining rooms. At least I hope so. So far, all the doctors have been excellent and we are pleased with our medical care. Now perhaps we could see the doctors every other year and we would be happy.