February 28, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Pictures.

Pictures in my brain are amazing. I have no idea how the brain does it but scenes I saw years ago come back with vivid clarity. Last evening I watched an hour program on the PBS Nature series. The show was about climate changes and Yosemite. The pictures were wonderful but I also see those pictures in my brain. And they are just as good. In 1962, Ken and I worked at a Salvation Army camp just outside Tucson, Arizona. We returned to Toronto via California and the west coast, then straight across Canada, camping along the way and driving our 1953 Volkswagen bug, with no air-conditioning. When in California we saw Yosemite and the big trees. We loved it. In fact we camped with just a groundsheet on the high plateau and we were very cold. But we have never been able to get back. The place is magnificent and I am grateful we did that trip all those years ago. Because those pictures are still in my brain. Rick Steves had a show on the highlands of Scotland. Again, every photograph shown was already in my brain because Ken and I spent 10 days just outside Inverness and every day we took drives around the countryside and the lochs. That would have been in the 90's but the pictures are clear in my brain. We enjoyed Scotland and once you have seen a place, the place stays and is part of you. I have no idea how these pictures stay in my mind but I am delighted I have been able to store all these images. And I am grateful that Ken and I enjoyed all the travel. Every trip is still a treasure.

February 27, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Kosciusko.

Kosciusko has the most unusual name for a Mississippi town. Once upon a time, the name was Redbud Springs but when it became the county seat, the name was changed to honor the Polish General and engineer who worked with General Washington during the Revolutionary War. But the town is old as it sits on the old Natchez Trace. The only things at that time were a blacksmith and a tavern. But no more. The place is buzzing. The Court House is imposing, sitting in the center of the town square. The 6 tall Corinthian pillars are impressive. We walked around the square and found only two empty stores. And the sidewalks are level and made of brick. We ate at a wonderful restaurant on the square. The building was old but the place was new, spotlessly clean and attractive. By the time we left, the place was full. We did well to eat an early lunch. The town boasts 24 homes built prior to the Civil War. Why it was never burned I do not know, but they are all there in all their glory. No derelict homes in this town. Many early 20th C homes too, all of brick. And all impressive. We aimlessly drove the neighborhoods, just looking. But the biggest surprise was the amount of business along highway 12, which is just out of town. The town center seemed to be flourishing but the growth along the highway was more impressive. This is a common pattern with old towns. The day was glorious with alternating sun and cloud. But the trees were in bloom. We must have seen 100 trees in full bloom. We drove minor highways past farms and little towns. Candy for the eyes. Both Kashina and I enjoyed our excursion to Kosciusko.

February 26, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Masters on TV.

This past week I have watched two shows that I loved. PBS showed them both. The first one a week ago was a two hour show on the life of Sammy Davis Jr. I have known him all my life but knew nothing much about him. I always enjoy reading biographies. I like to see how people get from one thing to the next. I already know the end of the story but now I like to know how the person got their success. The TV show was even better than a book because they showed the dancing and the singing. Life was not so easy for him. He was at the front end of integration. When he played in LasVegas in his early years, he was not able to stay in the big hotels. Rather he had to stay in a rooming house in the black neighborhood. I had forgotten about his dancing. I love tap dancing and I saw a lot of it in the show. He started performing for money at age 3 and toured with his two uncles. He never attended school. He performed his whole life. Then this weekend I watched an hour of the life of Charlie Pride. Again, I have been listening his voice my whole life so I enjoyed listening to his songs and hearing about his life. When he first became popular, his voice and diction did not sound black. This was before no black person was singing country songs. So for the first few records, they put no picture of him on the album. Then the folks wanted him to play the Grand Old Opry. When he first walked out on the stage, everyone gasped but no one said a word. No clapping, no heckling. He said to the audience. "I am a Black Country singer and would like to entertain you tonight." there was a silence, so he started singing and sang all night. The short clip was shown during the program. When he was interviewed, he said that he never had a cat call or unpleasant comments during his whole career. And he was born and raised in Mississippi. I hear a lot of negative comments about TV but my experience is the opposite. If I watch carefully, I see many valuable shows in TV. This past week has been a perfect example.

February 25, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Alone.

I have read a quite a bit about living alone, and about being a widow. The advice is always the same, which is to keep busy and go outside every day. So mostly I do. Last Monday when I had no activity I took Lyft and had a pedicure. But today I just stayed home alone. I am still in my robe which is probably a bad idea. But I did it anyway. I just wanted to see what happens if I hide out at home. One year many years ago I decided to say nothing about my birthday to see what would happen. Nothing happened which was no fun so I never repeated the idea. Now I tell people ahead that my birthday is coming. And I organize a party for myself. I can see the same thing must happen to me now. Nothing will happen unless I decide what t0 do. Today, no-one came to the door. I had no phone calls. I never went out. My day was fine. I puttered around a bit putting things in order. And I read all morning and answered e mails. Tonight I will watch Antiques Roadshow. And there is a hockey game. But this is the first day since Ken died that I have been by myself all day. In the future, I will organize something on a Monday. According to the doctors, I must keep busy and I must be engaged with people. I think I will look up movies and attend a movie on a Monday. I must look them up. But today was fine for me. I did not even go for a walk even though it was not raining. I was alone.

February 24, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Sympathy Cards.

All the cards include a note about Ken. And they are all nice. The stack of cards is high. I appreciated every kind words. I think I have received a note from every person I know, certainly everyone on my Christmas list. People have spoken about Ken's humor, which is one of those things I miss now that he has gone from us. And they have spoken about his determination and drive, which were also much in evidence. People have noted the obstacles he was required to overcome in order to be successful, not the least being his life long battle with lung disease. But several folks have mentioned about how gentle Ken was, which did surprise me. From my observation, Ken was driven and forceful. And he was always optimistic. Everything was going to work out, at least to Ken. Ken was always gentle and loving with his grandchildren but I do not think he was truly gentle. Beneath the surface he was determined to not let the bastards get him. And he fought hard to the end. Remember, Ken started out poor so a backbone of steel was required. Ken and I were a good pair. He drove the ship while I implemented the plans. But I never saw him as gentle. But I do enjoy reading all those cards and notes. Ken would be pleased and surprised.

February 23, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Major Morris.

Tucked into the bottom of an old trunk was a Salvation Army crest complete with an eagle, which means that the crest was American. The American Salvation Army no longer uses the crest so my crest is an antique. Ken and I bought it at an auction in Pennsylvania in the early 70's. No one else at the auction bid on the crest so we because the proud owner of this relic. For a short time we hung it on the wall just for fun but since that time it has been housed in the trunk that once belonged to my parents. The trunk followed the Buckley family from one place to another so it seems to be a good friend to me. I knew my family would have no interest in the crest so I contacted the Jackson Salvation Army to see if they wanted it. The National Headquarters is in Atlanta, which houses the archive department, so they wanted the crest. Major Morris, the Divisional Commander came to my house to retrieve the crest and drive it to Atlanta. Major Morris brought his daughter, who is in graduate school. And they stayed to chat for almost two hours. I enjoyed their company. When they first arrived Major Morris asked me my Salvation Army connection. On the stairs to the lower lever are shelves full of family pictures so I showed him the pictures. Every picture was 0f a person in uniform. I have pictures of my parents, the Buckley family, my mother as a young officer, Ken's mother in uniform and several other s. They seemed to be interested and asked lots of questions. I thought they would pick up the crest and leave but as I can not stand too long I invited them to sit in the living room. And we talked. And we talked. They had been stationed in Ohio so knew many Canadian officers. And they lived in DC for 12 years and attended The Prince George's Corps, but long after we no longer attended. And we talked about the Jackson corps and the people in the band. The Salvation Army officers in the US are impressive, well educated and enthusiastic and dedicated. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit with the DC and his daughter. In fact, she is best friends with Liz Schramm, who is the grand daughter of Bob and Naomi Schramm who were good friends at the Corps in Maryland. The Salvation Army is a small connected group. Before they left, Major Morris asked what I wanted him to ask God to grant me when he prayed. It caught me by surprise so I hedged but finally settled on strength and courage. During his prayer, he added good health. As they were leaving, I jokingly suggest to him that that may be too much to expect from God. And we all three laughed.

February 22, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. A Coffee Party.

The four ladies got together this afternoon at the home of Greta Barbour. We ate home made cheesecake and drank coffee. We sat in the living room like ladies and enjoyed ourselves while the children played in another part of the house. The event was elegant with linen napkins and good silver. Eleanor was there, along with Christina and Greta Barbour. I had not seen Eleanor or Greta Barbour since my return so we had to catch up on our lives. And of course, they wanted to know how I was doing. I said that my life is like sitting on a stool with one leg missing. A person can sit on a stool missing one leg but it requires a person to keep balancing to stay steady. Having an event every day keeps me steady so I appreciated the coffee party and the friendship of the three ladies. Next week I will arrange lunch with them but we are having a difficult time when everyone can get together so I am taking them along, which I enjoy too. So hats off to coffee parties. Eleanor is arranging a French party where she will make eclairs. That will be our next party. In the meantime, I will keep that stool steady.

February 21, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Rain and Wind.

My friend Linda C. says that the weather in Jackson is worse than Houston. I have heard her but never agreed. I know Houston weather is hot and humid for 6 months of the year. But I have never lived in Jackson in the winter where it is cold and rainy. Mostly we have always ignored weather perhaps for many years we followed 75 degrees. But this year I can not ignore the rain. Wednesday from 10 to 5 was the only time this week when the rain was not falling. That was the day of our excursion. But beginning in the middle of the night on Sunday we have had rain. And we have had two storms. Beginning in the middle of the night, the wind howled and the rain pelted against the windows. I was pleased to be in bed. The storm did not stop until noon but all afternoon it rained. The rain was not heavy but it was constant. All week it rained. Early this morning we had a thunder and lightning storm. And lots of rain. All day it rained. Walking outdoors today was impossible due to the high wind. The city officials urge people not to walk outside in high winds due to all the trees which often come down. And the streets are slippery so dangerous for me. I have been walking inside the house. Someday the sun will shine...but not tomorrow. Our forecast is for rain.

February 20, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Port Gibson.

Today Keshina and took excursion number 2. It was a good one. Port Gibson was an important town in the 19th Century but river towns are not thriving in the 21st Century so I was expecting a dying town. What we found was a much larger town then we expected so our visit came as a surprise to both of us. First issue for me was that the town was not on the Mississippi River. The river must have shifted. We drove on the interstate to Hazelhurst, then took back roads to get to Port Gibson. The trees are in bloom so we spotted many beautiful trees and bushes with lovely blossoms. The trees in Jackson are not in bloom. When we got to the little town, we visited the visitors center for a map and some brochures. I tried to hire someone to take us on a tour but no one was available so we drove around ourselves. And we walked down a street with big old houses, all beautifully restored. The lady in the center told us that many homes are for sale wi9th a selling price of 75K to 150K. In addition to looking at the big old homes, we drove up and down all the streets in the town. Most homes were built in the 20th century. But there were lots of people and business. And one nuclear power plant. General Grant said of Port Gibson that it was a town too pretty to burn. So here it is. We drove around the area for a bit, all on the back roads, then we took the Natchez Trace home. Next time we take an excursion we must leave early as we did not get home until 5. We both enjoyed our day although Kashina is not used to driving on a road that she does not know and does not know where the road is going. Ken and I did that all the time. But she survived. And eventually she enjoyed it. One of the bright spots of the day was Rosa's cafe, a tiny place that was mostly a carryout. It was so small that I had to convince Keshina to go in. They had one table. But the good was delicious. I ate grilled shrimp. From the outside it looked terrible but it was a highlight of the day. Now on to excursion number 3.

February 19, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Gwen Badelley Skelton.

Gwen died peacefully this evening in Victoria, British Columbia. For that I am grateful because Gwen had been in a home for 8 years with increasing amount os senility. I recall with joy being her friend since we were young in Toronto. She attended Earlscourt Corps of The Salvation Army while I attended Danforth Corps but we went to cams together and we both attended North Toronto Collegiate Institution so often walked home together. We were good friends. Gwen's parents were officers but her father died when she was young and her mother was stationed at headquarters in Toronto. Gwen often said that the army did not know what to do with a single married lady with a little girl. Her mother was quiet and gentle while Gwen was not. When she was a teenager she was noisy and full of fun. Her hair was curly and blond and she had a chronic hoard throat. She was energetic and outgoing, the opposite of her mother who would just shake her head at Gwen's antics. Gwen was at the Corps Cadet Congress in London in 1956 with men. We had a grand time. When young, Gwen played the dumb blond to great aplomb. But she was not dumb. After high school she became a nurse and moved to Victoria, where she lived the rest of her life. She married George Skelton, who was a fine husband, who loyally tended to Gwen the last ten years of her life. They had a good life, working hard and traveling as much as possible. Ken and I and the boys visited them in Victoria and enjoyed their company and I saw Gwen in Victoria on a business trip. Gwen and George came to our 50th anniversary in Nova Scotia but something had changed with Gwen. Friends who had known her for years kept asking me what had happened to Gwen because she seemed to have no energy, which was the opposite of the Gwen we knew and loved. But Gwen had begun the long slow decline and at the 50th she was not able to recall names. So she kept quiet. Her Mother was also in an institution in her later years which makes life doubly sad. I give thanks for the life of Gwennie. She was funny. And she was a good nurse and an active soldier of the Victoria Corps. I have been missing her for years. But now we say a final goodbye. She was one of a kind.

February 18, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. My Day.

Friends ask me what I do during the day. The question is a good one because when you live by yourself, the day has many hours. My friend Butch told me that what bothers him the most is the lack of voices in his home. His solution is to put on the TV the moment he goes through the door. And he keeps it on un til he goes to bed. I do not do that. I actually enjoy the quiet. But I do give structure to my day. I eat breakfast and read sitting in the chair with the best light, which is in the corner beside the windows. And I take my time with breakfast. When I am finished eating, I call someone. This morning I chatted with Fairie and Murray Lewin. She commented in her note about Ken for me to call to say hello and I did. Murray turned 81 today so the call was timely. Our families go back a long way so we talked about the old times and we talked about today. . I had already dressed before breakfast so right after my phone call I took Lyft to have a pedicure. No waiting and Lyft was quick to pick me up to bring me home. Dreises left me good food so I ate lunch at home, beef tips with zucchini, eaten in the corner while reading. By now it was almost 3:00 so I put up my feet for an hour. Next up was my walk which I take every day for 30 minutes. I drink my orange drink every day to avoid constipation. I drink while checking out the TV schedule for the night. Three days a week I lift light weights that I keep in the lower level so that was next on my agenda. I usually watch TV when eating dinner. Tonight is Antique Roadshow at 7:00 so I ate curry chicken and rice while watching my favorite show. Now after I complete these wee web log I will check my e mails before a final four crackers while taking my letrozole. I am usually in bed by 11. And I wake up around 8. So my days have structure. I try to have something happening every day. Tomorrow the cleaning lady comes. Wednesday Kashina comes. Thursday I attend BSF and Friday I see a friend. This Friday, Greta Barbour has invited me for afternoon tea along with Christina and Eleanor. So my days stay full. And I continue to be grateful.

February 17, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. The Salvation Army.

This morning, I returned to my roots. I attended the Jackson Citadel Corps of The Salvation Army. Much to my surprise, I enjoyed it and might go back. The building itself is pleasant and the seats are comfortable. The best part is that they have good musicians. The band is small but good. And during different parts of the service the band members switched to doing other things. The woman who plays euphonium also plays the piano. The baritone player plays drums for some songs and a cornet player is excellent on the electric guitar. The service had everything you want in one held in The Salvation Army. Lots of singing and clapping. And the service ended at 12:15 so were were on time to meet the family for lunch at Bravo. In my trunk downstairs is an old Salvation Army crest made of metal. It comes with the eagle over the top of the crest. Ken and I bought it years ago in Pennsylvania at an auction. No one bid but us. The US Salvation Army no longer uses the eagle so I have a relic from the past. I thought that the SA archives might want it. Friday I called to speak to the officer or the DC. No one yet has called me back. I decided to just go to the corps to ask someone so Keshina and I attended church this morning. I met the CO and the DC and told them about my treasure. They were delighted to get it. But I did note that no one asked for my telephone number which I thought was interesting. I have always been grateful that I was brought up in a Salvatvation Army family and I do not criticize. But one aspect of their patterns are terrible, which is follow up. They seem to have no system for tracking people. Last Spring, I was out to lunch with friend Eleanor where we met a group of officers also having lunch. I spoke to them and told them of my connection. One young man came over to chat and I gave him my number. Of course, I have not heard a word from him. Now I must call tomorrow and find out what to do with my crest and eagle. Keshina does not attend church. As we were walking to the car, she commented that she had never attended anything like that before. I on the other hand got exactly what I expected. We both had fun.

February 16, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Excursion # One.

Keshina and I took our first excursion together today. She liked it even though she does not enjoy driving beside water, which we did both going and coming. Our first effort was simple on purpose. She is not used to poking around back roads, which Ken and I have always done so I selected a destination that she had been to before. I have a book telling weekend trips in Mississippi. My first choice was Canton. We drove along the Reservoir on the NatcheZ Trace. The drive is lovely and Ken and I had driven the same route many times but Kashina had never been on that section of the Trace, because you drive right alongside the water. But Kashina persevered. At the top of the lake we took the highway to Canton, an old town with a pretty town square and court house. We parked down town and walked around the whole square, looking at every store. Small towns are not thriving so I expected exactly what we found. We counted 6 stores not operating at all. Totally empty. It was Saturday late morning and the square was not busy. Not many people downtown. We went into one antique store and chatted with the owner but business was slow, said he. And the best restaurant was closed today as was the Museum. But we got in our walk and admired the 19th century lovely buildings. When Wonderful Wendy was here, we three drove the same route and stopped at a restaurant just as it was closing for their Sunday brunch. It was Penn's restaurant. They graciously invited us in and we ate a delicious late lunch. It turned out to be an old Mississippi institution, Penn's restaurants. They have several in Jackson still. So, remembering how good the food was years ago, Keshina and I went to the same restaurant. When I was there with Wendy and Ken we were all hungry and the food tasted great. But today the food was bland. And almost no one was there. We both think the restaurant will close. We drove home along back roads on the opposite side of the reservoir but not right along the water, which pleased Kashina. To get home we had to drive along the spillway which is directly beside the water. Kashina did not like it but she got us home. Now she is ready for our next excursion which will be Port Gibson, "the town too pretty to burn," said General Grant. Our first excursion was a success.

February 15, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Tom and Carolyn.

The next time you see Tom and Carolyn, try to get Tom to tell you how he survived and thrived in the military. Tom got drafted. He is not an athlete but he is very funny. The stories of how he managed to get through basic training was hilarious 50 years ago when he was telling his adventures. And I am sure they would be funny now. But you must ask him. I met Carolyn at work at the medical center when Carolyn was a social worker in the new wing of the psychiatric ward for children while I did recreation therapy. Tom was completing his PhD at the U.of Houston and they were dating. Ken and I and Tom and Carolyn went to the beach together, often taking dinner with us. We had no children and they were not married. Shortly after they married two years later, we had two boys while they moved to Virginia. We four had a lot of fun together in Galveston. Ken and I went with them to visit Carolyn's parents who lived in Baton Rouge. In fact we visited them more than once. We soon moved to Maryland and when the boys wee young, we visited them at Hampden Sydney and camped on the property of their rental home. I still have a picture of the boys sawing and chopping wood. They were 3 and 4. At that time we had three big dogs. Once they got away and went running. Carolyn called the radio station to ask for people to look for them. Much to my surprise it worked. Soon we were called to tell us where the dogs were running. The dogs were delighted to jump in the car when we caught up with them. They had children, two boys too. And they visited us in DC several times. We are good friends but recently we have not seen them much. They are a bit older than us and they also have grandchildren. I have not seen them since our 55th anniversary in Texas. They were in Nova Scotia too for our 50th. This week we caught up with our family news. The interesting thing about voices is that they do not change. Carolyn sounds exactly the same as she did in 1964 when I first met her. They still live in the same home on the University campus. And they visit their children and grandchildren. Now I am trying to convince them to come to Nova Scotia. Last year was the first year since they married that they did not visit Maine, which was Tom's mothers home. So perhaps I will get to see them, these good friends of many years.

February 14, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Phone Calls.

Once a day I am phoning someone I have not talked to recently. In todays world, no on uses the phone except for texting. But I am old fashioned so I like to hear the voices. Yesterday I talked to Carolyn DeWolf, a friend from Galveston days. Actually, she returned my call after I had left a message. We talked for ages and I enjoyed catching up with her children and grandchildren. And she did the same with me. It was just as if she had popped by for a cup of tea. The day before I called my friend Butch and again talked for ages. He had not been aware that Ken had died. And the day before that I chatted with Peppy. And Ruth R. the day before that. These conversations make me happy. I have many hours in the day when I am alone so the phone calls remind me that I am not really alone, even though I am. I will continue to go down the contacts in my phone, just to say hello. If the friend is away, I leave a message. And I love it when people phone me. Breaks up my day and gives me a break from reading. I am enjoying my phone calls to friends and I hope they are not considering me a nuisance. So get ready. I might be phoning you sometime soon.

February 13, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. A Merry Widow.

Alan died in 1981 leaving Gill a widow with two young children to raise and educate all by herself. Mary and I immediately flew to Toronto to be with Gill through the difficult few days. The night before we were to go back to Maryland, we three sat in her living room and drank the Greek liquor Oozo. And we figured out how to turn Gill into a Merry Widow. I have no recollection of what we said except that we had a lot of fun. Gill has been spectacularly successful raising the boys and funding the family. And she has been a Merry Widow. No weeping widow for Gill. I have been a widow for two months. All my life I have known widows but I can not recall a single conversation with widows and how they managed. But now I am asking every widow I meet. A lady in Mexico told me that whoever she feels blue, she thinks of something to do that she could not do when her husband was alive. Another friend told me that every day she thanks God for bringing her husband in her life. My eye doctor has been a widow for ten years. Her advice was to keep busy. Another lady suggested that living alone is not all bad. No one has told me how to be Merry Widow so I must figure it out myself. And I will ask Gill what we talked about that night long ago. What I am doing is keeping busy and keeping active. Every day I go for a walk;k. Three days during the week I lift the weights in the lower level. Kashina and I will explore Mississippi every Saturday. Thursday morning I attend BSF. I like my little group. Sundays I will attend church with the family. Every week on Friday I invite a friend for coffee. I use Lyft when I need to go anywhere. And I will continue our vagabond ways. I will go to Texas for Memorial weekend and will stay until I go to Nova Scotia in mid June. Friends are coming to visit me at the lake while I am there. I expect to have a good time and eventually, I may even get to be a Merry Widow.

February 12, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Katy.

Now my big question is who is Katy. Roger is an artist who lives near us in Nova Scotia. He is good. We have several of his pieces at home there as well as two large paintings he made for us. One is just inside our front door here plus a lovely piece of the Carriage House. As it burned down the year after Roger painted it, we gives special meaning to the painting. He waited for just the right moment to paint it, with the sun coming across the water. One of Roger's pieces is over my chest in our bedroom. It is a nude from the back, done in brown and white. I have always liked it but it is the only nude I have ever seen by Roger...until now. Yesterday a large envelope came with a sympathy note and a calendar from Roger. The note was lovely, recounting his friendship with Ken. This year we will have lived in Nova Scotia for 20 year and we met and purchased art from Roger right from the beginning. On the front of the calendar is a painting of Katy, nude. Every month has another nude pose of Katy. The paintings are charming and beautifully done with sparse lines. It is Roger's 2019 calendar with his signature with a note for me. It is bound to be hung on the wall, using card stock, so it is sturdy. I love it. I am wondering if he sells them. But the most important question is "Who is Katy?" She must have posed many times for those paintings. I hope they were painted in the summer. Surprises please me but I must say I was certainly startled to receive a calendar from Roger with every month a nude painting of Katy. Such fun. Now would someone please tell me about Katy? Someone knows.

February 11, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Wind Chimes.

Ken moved the wind chimes from the front patio to the backyard. The front is protected by the house, the garage and the trees so we could never hear the lovely sound. We inherited the wind chimes. Clearly the former owner did not know they were there because of course, she never heard them. When Ken moved the chimes to the back yard, he hung them on the gazebo which is close to the reservoir. The wind blows almost all the time so we can hear the lovely twinkling sound. Last night the wind blew so hard the chimes were singing all night. I was reminded of my Wonderful Wendy. In Mexico, we three were walking. All of a sudden we could hear the most wonderful deep sounding wind chimes. The sound was mellow and low. Both Ken and I stopped to listen and to see where the chimes could be bought. The sound was wonderful. Ken wondered out loud if they could buy the chimes for the new backyard. But Wendy did not want any part of a set of wind chimes. We both tried to convince her but to no avail. Wendy hates wind chimes. When Wendy first purchased her cottage on Lake Joseph, the closest cottage to her had wind chimes on the porch. It chimed all day and night. Even in the middle of the night Wendy could hear those chimes singing. They kept her awake so she has hated wind chimes ever since. Eventually, the chimes fell down and died which pleased her. Last night in the middle of the night I wondered what my neighbors feel about my wind chimes. Even tonight, I can hear them even though we have no storm. The next time I see them I think I will ask. Or maybe I won't. I would hate to take them down.

February 10, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Maryland.

I did not know this but it is true. Maryland makes sure you are out of the state at least 6 months of the year if you are registered as your legal residence in another state and you are not paying Maryland income taxes. My friend is no longer working full time but her children and grandchildren live in Maryland so she wants to keep a home there. But she must track the number of days she is living in Maryland very carefully so she can prove to the officials of where she slept every night away from Maryland. She has a computer program that tracks how many days she is in the state so she will not go over her quota. Her legal residence of Florida does not care a bit but Maryland is on her case. The last Governor raised every tax possible in the state. He raised the tax for everything imaginable: for the cost of a drivers license, the income tax, the cost for any professional license, property tax. For a time, he actually taxed the water falling on your roof. Of course, people started to move away so the officials realized that people had moved to Florida, but commuted each week back to Maryland to work, so the state made some rules. And they enforce them. Who knew? If you buy a house in Canada, you are welcome to live in that house for 180 days of any year. If you wish to stay longer, you must apply to become a landed residence. Several of the folks around Gull Bay in Nova Scotia got in trouble because they exceeded their number of days. One lady thought it was days in a row. Another family paid no attention. Both folks eventually obtained their papers but it was costly and time consuming. But they should have known better. Canada is a different country. But I have never known of a state make requirements. Maybe other high tax states have similar rules to Maryland but I had never heard of it before now. Lots of things I do not know. And this rule in Maryland is one of them.

February 9, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Dreisys The Cook.

This morning Dreisys brought me my weekly supply of cooked food. Since she has had her baby, she cooks at home and brings the food to me in containers, which I carefully keep in a spot in the kitchen when they are empty., All her food is kept in the one fridge, the one that is a side by side freezer. I was delighted to see the baby who is big and bonny and laughs out loud. Her husband came too, which was the first time I had met him. His English is not good so he did not talk much but I think he can understand everything. He is a nice fellow and I was pleased to see them all. For lunch today I ate vegetable soup which was delicious. For dinner I ate chicken and onions along with mixed vegetables. She brought a whole container of cooked fresh vegetables so I just take out whatever amount I want for each meal. Both meals were cooked by Dreisys and brought to me this morning. She is now back at work so Jack goes to day care. Dreisys is busy. But she is happy to continue to cook for me, which pleases me. She is a good cook. Later this year they are taking a trip to Cuba so her Mother can see the new baby. They are excited but anxious. First they must obtain a passport for the baby. Getting a passport costs money and time, so folks trying to make ends meet find the expense difficult. But they have saved for the trip but they can not book a ticket until they have the baby's passport. Dreises is already worried about me when they are away as they expect to be gone two weeks. She did not want to hear that I would just go on a diet. My Cuban cook is looking after me. And for that I am grateful.

February 8, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Persnickety.

"I am not trying on this pants," I said to the little lady who was going to fix my pants. The first thing I said to her was that I needed a new elastic in my fancy pants. Her English was not good and she asked me to go into the dressing room and put on the pants. I explained to her again that all I needed her to do was to measure my waist and put a new elastic ion the top. Again she told me that I must put on the pants. Again I told I would not put on those pants. We had a standoff. She apologized for her English and thought that I did not understand the need for me to see her in the pants. I told her I understood but I told her again that I was not trying on those pants. All I wanted was a new elastic. Finally I picked up the pants and told her I would take it to another person who did alterations too. Finally she relented and she agreed to measure me. But as she was measuring me and the pants, she was tut tutting away. I have no idea whether the pants will fit or not but next week I will pick them up. And I will try them on at home. If they still fall down, I will take the pants to my regular lady who only measured. In my defense, I was wearing jeans and sneakers so going through the removal of my clothes and putting on the pants would have been difficult. The dressing room was small with no chair which is almost impossible for me. But the most important part was that it was unnecessary. But I think I am getting difficult in my old age. I must have told her ten times that I was not going to put on those pants. I finally won the battle when the little lady realized that she was dealing with an old lady who was difficult. I have become persnickety.

February 7, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Lunch Date.

Today I took a handsome young man out for lunch. I asked to go to Gringo Tacos but the name is actually Green Ghost Tacos. Michael has a strong accent and speaks quickly so I missed the name. The lady who owns the restaurant is the mother of the man who owns the computer store who fixed my phone yesterday. The family;y is from Mexico and are clearly working hard and thriving. Yesterday when waiting for my phone to be fixed I looked at covers for my iPad. Sara Lou was recommending one to me as I have nothing protecting it. But the people at the store assured me that I must bring the iPad in to find the correct fit.Michael took the measurements yesterday and tried to buy one but they insisted. Evidently, there are many different sizes of covers and the fit must be perfect. This morning when I arrived home from BSF, Michael was hard at work installing the new lights. He assured me that he would drive me to take the iPad to get the right cover. At 1:00 I suggested we go for lunch as we get the cover and we did. The Mexican food was excellent. And it was fun. One of the cooks came to chat with Michael, of course in Spanish and the owner came to say hello to Michael. I liked her. She owns a home in Juana Jato, a colonial city that Ken and I visited years ago. And their family is attending a wedding in March in Puerto Vallarta. Now the only problem will be whether or not I can find the restaurant again. It is small and charming. And smells delicious. The moral of the story is that something good comes from everything, in this case a lovely lunch with a handsome young man when all we started out to do yesterday was to get my phone fixed. I got lucky.

February 6, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Panic Attack.

My carefully constructed life fell apart this afternoon when I discovered that my phone was stuck. Nothing worked. I did everything I knew to bring it back to life but it still stayed stuck. So at 3:30 I put my feet up for thirty minutes. All I did was worry about all the things I needed the phone for tomorrow, such as call Lyft. I could not call if I had an emergency. I was truly trapped. When after 30 minutes of worrying, I checked and was hoping the phone had fixed itself. But no such luck. Nothing worked. Nothing moved on the screen. It was stuck. Michael is Chantes' son. He arrived to install the lights. I of course was still in panic mode. He looked at my phone and said I need the computer in the phone to be reset and for that I needed to go to a phone store. Bless his heart. He drove me in my car to the place very close who services apple products. We took back roads. The technician in the back checked my phone, reset the computer and now it works perfectly. And for that I paid the company $20. I could have hugged his neck but of course I never saw him. I was there 10 minutes with a 10 minute drive there and back. Michael was correct when he told me that it would be fixed quickly. The company is owned by a young man from Mexico. The Mother owns a restaurant called Gringo Tacos just up the street from the store. Michael had been working for the Mother making repairs and she mentioned her son to Michael, who has been using them ever since. I was so lucky that Michael came by at the perfect time and that he suggested we go immediately to the store. Now my life is back together. I never dreamt that the most important objet in my house is the phone. But it is.

February 5, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. My Helpers.

I could not possibly function here in my home in Mississippi without my helpers. We work together. Chantes came this afternoon. He has been our handyman for 4 years. This time he will install ceiling lights in the bedroom and the TV room. Ken and I had decided to have them done upon our return. He will also repair the front of a wooden file cabinet in Ken's office. He was also able to open the freezer door which was stuck. So Chantes will help. Theresa came at noon to clean the house. She works for a cleaning service but she feels like part of the family. I do not really need her every week but for the moment, I like her coming every Tuesday afternoon. Today she gave her phone number and told me to call if I need help or if I just want company. Keshina has agreed to work with me twice a week, on Sunday and Wednesday. She was a huge help with Ken and she too seems like part of the family. Tomorrow she will drive me to a doctor's appointment. In the future I will make appointments for Wednesdays. She is a good worker and will help do anything that needs to be done. I was delighted that she agreed to work with me two days a week. She is working 4 days a week for another lady. She was asked to help the lady every day as she did with Ken but she refused. She will work 4 days with the lady and two with me, leaving Saturday if I need her. My friends and family will help me too. I will invite my lady friends, one at a time to come for coffee on Friday or Monday. I have already given out invitations via the phone. Dreises the cook will come and cook for me on Saturdays. She cooks enough for the week and when she is cooking, she fills the house with wonderful smells. She is a good cook and I appreciate her help. Christina is coming Friday to help with new accounts. And of course we will continue our Sunday lunch. Since my return, I have used Lyft twice, once to get home and today to go to have my hair cut. I am no longer trapped. To get to anything I need regularly in Ridgeland costs $9. which is affordable and quick. When I called to come home the driver came in 2 minutes. Lyft is the final piece of my puzzle to keep me functioning in my lovely home. But I need everyone of these helpers to allow me to be happy. I am grateful for their help.

February 4, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Getting Organized.

Reisys the cook is going to come on Saturday morning. The cleaning lady will clean tomorrow. I intend to attend the BSF on Thursday mornings. I will take Lyft to get there. If Linda is there she will drive me home. If not, I will call Lyft again. Tomorrow morning I have an appointment to have my hair cut. Again I will take Lyft. This afternoon I took a walk in the neighborhood which I intend to do every day. Kashina will work two days a week with me. Sunday and Wednesday will be her days. Becasase I had an early scan today, she stayed here overnight so we were both ready to leave shortly after six. No cancer in the bones which is a blessing but there is a hot spot in the soft tissue of the left breast so we will watch it. Dr. Sheehan will speak to the radiologist for more details. We will have another scan the beginning of May. If it grows, I will restart Ibrance. After the scan Kashina and I went out for lunch. She selected the restaurant. Fried fish. After lunch we ran errands. First the cleaners and then the drug store. On Wednesday she will drive me to the Cardiologist for my 10:00 appointment. My plan is to take small trips around Jackson on Wednesdays with Kashina when I have no appointments. I have already looked at the map and the book with trips is in the TV room for me to read again. Kashina has done very little traveling in Mississippi so she is looking forward to the explorations. The mail has yet to be opened but I have been busy getting organized in other directions. Susan M. is coming for coffee on Friday morning and Christina will come in the afternoon to help with details of our accounts. So I am getting organized to live a happy life by myself in Mississippi. Along with family and friends and activities, I should be fine. We are going to find out pretty quickly.

February 3, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Success.

I am like a two year old. I did it all by myself. I am home. All my belongings have been put away. The temperature in the house is cosy. The computer is working. Lyft from the airport was a breeze. She picked me up in three minutes after I called. And I was able to pay her tip, all done on my phone. This was the first time to use Lyft all myself. The first time David was with me to prompt me. The cost was half the amount of a taxi. Success for me. Once I got to the American check in yesterday afternoon all was well. But getting from the cab to the counter was not easy., The terminal was packed. I could not find American so getting through the crowds was difficult but once I was in the hands of the American staff I was well looked after. I learned something yesterday. I noted the look of the dress and demeanor of the people pushing wheel chairs. Their uniforms are new and they hustled. The young lady taking me from the counter to the gate was aggressively getting to the front of every line. She was polite but assertive. liked her. She left me at the gate, then came back to wheel me to the plane as the ramps was long and steep. White we were waiting to board, we chatted. I learned that the good folks who push wheel chair folks are volunteers. They work for tips. No wonder they hustle. She is a University student as are must of all the pushers. She works long hours on the weekends. No problem with either flights. I was wheeled right to the Hyatt and was accompanied to the room. My breakfast in the room was huge. I ordered last night when I was hungry which was a mistake. But I ate it anyway. Now I am home in my nice warm abode. I did it myself. Success.

February 2, 2019. Playa Royale, Mexico. Traveling Day.

Wendy and Ken are in the taxi heading for the airport. They will take a direct flight to Hamilton on Swoop Airline. This is the first year Swoop has offered that flight. We hope it continues because Wendy has invited me to come for Christmas. I have booked 8 weeks in our condo for 2020 beginning with January 4. If I come for Christmas, she and Ken will come with me from Hamilton to PV which would be lovely. We want Swoop to keep the flights running as their cost for a ticket is less than from either San Antonio or Jackson. No kidding. Wendy and Ken looked after me well. Last night was a perfect example. Wedecided to have our last dinner at our favorite little Mexican restaurant down the road. We walked in the daylight which is easier for me. I still hold Wendy's arm so I am sure she is beside me. Our meal was wonderful and just what we expected. The most memorable moment was when Ken ordered fish. And he liked it. Coming home in the dark, I walked with both Ken and Wendy by my side, with me holding on tightly to both. Ken suggested that next year I might bring a flashlight. On the elevator going down to get the cab this morning, we all agreed that we had a splendid visit for all three of us and we were a bit teary to be saying goodbye. But we did with smile all around. I leave this afternoon and will read in the condo all morning. I stay overnight in Dallas at the Hyatt and leave tomorrow for Jackson, arriving late in the afternoon. Kashina will come at 9 and stay overnight as I have an early scan which makes it difficult for her picking me up at 6 in the morning. And she will stay the day with me to help me settle in. Our plan is for her to work two days a week with me, Sunday and Wednesday. I hope that every Wednesday we can take an excursion into the small towns of Mississippi. I have a book giving information about such trips. Keshina likes to drive so I hope to hit the road a bit. I looking forward to our trips. Now I am ready for the next segment of my life. So here I go.

February 1, 2019. Playa Royale, Mexico. A Royal Lunch.

Yesterday we three had lunch at the Porto Bello restaurant, perhaps the best in Nuevo Vallarta. For the first hour, we were served in solid splendor. We were the only patrons and we loved it. The day was lovely and we sat right by the rail overlooking the canal. We started with an antipasto platter which was wonderful and took an an hour to consume. We spotted many iguanas on the other side of the canal in the trees and three were on our side basking in the heat on a concrete slab. So we were entertained. Our lunch was our main meal. We all three ordered a different item which was all good. We ate and ate every bite. And we shared a dessert and coffee. We luxuriated in the warm air with the good food and we all three felt like royals. We walked along the canal to see the boats and the new restaurants. Next year we will try out the Mexican restaurant. And again, we took the water taxi home to Paradise Village, then walked home. To end the afternoon, Wendy and Ken went to the pool and of course we watched the sunset. By the time we arrived home, it was 5:15. Pretty late to end a lunch. But we enjoyed the afternoon, our last lunch out until next year. It was pretty special.