May 31, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. The Boat Show.

It was the smallest boat show I have ever attended, which meant it was perfect for me. Ken loves boats. Perhaps growing up on Georgian Bay gives a person an affinity for being on the water, and that may be why Ken loves to be near boats, or on boats. Over the years we have attended many boat shows. In Mississippi, we live on the Ross Barnett Reservoir. One of the aspects of living here that we like is we see lots and lots of boats, which pleases Ken. When we arrived on Tuesday, Ken spotted a sign for a boat show, just down the shore from us. It was to be the first ever boat show on the Reservoir. Of course, today we were there before they opened but as it was all outdoors on the parking lot we just wandered around looking at the boats. It was a good show with about 75 boats on display. There were lots of pontoon boats and fishing boats, some ski boats and sail boats, and a few kayaks. We talked to the vendors and asked zillions of questions about the differences in the pontoon boats. But the best part was that after just over an hour, we were done and we were ready to go home. We had wandered past every boat at least twice and circled the whole show too. This is my idea of a good boat show.

May 29, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. The Rain.

I always forget about the rain in Mississippi. At the Cardiologists office, I parked in the furthest spot from the door. It forces us to walk a bit further. Unfortunately, while we were in the good Doctor's office, it began to rain. Then it bagan to pour cats and dogs. We did get wet walking to the car when we left but at least we were not soaked. Everything here is green. And the Magnolias are in full bloom. It is really beautiful, thanks to all the rain. It rained all night and it has been raining all afternoon. Next time when the sky is overcast, I will park as close as possible to the door. You never know when the sky will open up

May 30, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Organizing.

It comes easily to me. Always has. Yesterday and today I have arranged a dinner for our friends in Jackson. We will meet at 6:00 on June 4th, at Jaco's Tacos, a Mexican restaurant in Ridgeland close to our condo. Today Ken and I ate lunch there today to meet with Matthew, the man in charge of especial event, to select the food and beverages. It took us fifteen minutes to make our choices. While we ate our lunch, Matthew worked up the numbers. I am sure he wanted to know if we could afford it. We certainly did not look prosperous. Shortly after we approved the choices and the charges, he asked if we would prefer to use the large area at the back of the restaurant that is surrounded with windows. The first time we ate in that restaurant we sat in that large bright room so we were delighted that he offered the space to us. If it was not to be held on a Wednesday, we would not ever been offered that space. We got lucky. And Matthew paid our luncheon bill too. Our visit to meet Matthew paid off. Now I have invited our friends and they have accepted, so adults and children will gather for another first for us. We will entertain our friends and their children in Jackson without Andrew. And everyone of us will miss him.

May 28, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Beginnings.

This afternoon, the girls and Christina unloaded the truck for us. I was on duty by the truck to be sure that only items for Mississippi were carried inside our condo. I did not wish to load the same objects back into the truck when we leave for Texas. At first when loading the truck at the farm I was careful to put all items for Mississippi be put into the back seat with the Texas stuff put in the bed of the truck but at the end, we were just stuffing things into the back of the truck and things got all mixed up. The girls saved us multiple trips up the stairs as well. They were a huge help. The ducks and Canada geese all have young ones so the girls fed them, first with bread then with cheerios. It was great fun. Our condo is twenty feet from the reservoir and the girls have always enjoyed watching them but this is the first time they have fed them. And lastly, we six went out to dinner at our local Mexican restaurant. All these events were beginnings. This was the first time the girls unloaded the truck without Andrew and the first time we dined out by ourselves without Andrew. Only once did we almost lost our composure when Molly said, "I wish that Daddy was here to come outside with me and see the ducks". Christina responded in a very matter of fact way by saying,"we all wish that", and the moment passed. We want to be sure that not all memories are behind us. Now I have a big task. Our condo is very small and I must incorporate this stuff into our life here without it being crowded. Tomorrow I will begin.

May 27, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Dinner.

We did it. The six of us ate dinner in the dining room. And it was very pleasant. Up until now, we have eaten dinner sitting around the coffee table. I think everyone was aware of the empty chair. Tonight, we were careful to mix up our seating. It was Molly who suggested we eat dinner in the dining room. I inwardly gulped but agreed that it was a good idea. We put Ken at the head of the table where Andrew usually sits and we put Christina and Molly on the side, right beside Ken. Kate sat at the other end of the table with Mary Frances and me on the side. So everyone was in a different chair than is the norm. There was only one anxious moment. Normally, Andrew asks the blessing before dinner but tonight, no one said a word when the blessing should have been said. No one at that table was prepared to say a word so we all just started eating. And the anxious moment passed. All six of us were aware of who was missing from the table but we all carried on our conversation and kept our grief private. I am told that the first time you do anything without your loved one is especially difficult. Tonight, we enjoyed our first meal sitting around the dining table without Andrew. And we all missed him, but we carried on.

May 26, 2014. Trussville, Alabama. The Journey.

It turns out to be a good idea to drive on a holiday weekend. The trucks were off the road. This afternoon they came out in force but were heading north so once again we got lucky. The traffic picked up just north of Birmingham, so we found a motel and stopped for the night, with plenty of time for a walk. We even watched the end of the hockey game from last night. It was our intention to watch the game between New York and Montreal but Ken fell asleep while listening the anthems and I turned the game off at the end of the 1st period. It was an exciting game, even seeing it today when we already knew the score. Not wanting to get back into the car, we ordered Pizza and Pasta delivered to our room. "We now have enough food for three days," says Ken. How could I know the size of the portions? It was fun, eating in our room and watching TV. This motel has hundreds of channels. But they do not have the Antiques Roadshow channel. For shame. We have less than four hours to drive tomorrow. Ken will start driving and I will take over after two hours. When Ken gets tired, he sees double in one eye and today while driving around Chattanooga, on his second stretch of driving, he was seeing double. As soon as possible, we switched drivers but you can not change drivers in the middle of a city driving on the interstate that has no shoulders. It did get interesting, but we managed. And I completed the driving for today.

May 25, 2014. Christiansburg, Va. The Journey.

I have never heard of this little town or of Radford University, which is close by, but we have stopped for the night and we are pleased we did. The Comfort Inn is lovely and costs $60. It is amazing to me that we have a desk, WiFi, full couch, comfortable chair, king sized bed and large bathroom with granite counters, all for this low price. And of course, they serve breakfast. Ken and I drove away from the farm looking at our next era. Our times at Artemas were wonderful but it is over and we must move on. Tammy asked me wistfully whether or not we would ever come back? My response was to say that you never know what will happen, but in my mind, I was saying no. We are ready to move on. The farm looks better than it did three weeks ago when we arrived. It would never have happened without Ian and Rita and Wendy, plus our friends Sara Lou and Joe. Ken could never have been able to get all the cleaning and sorting and organizing by himself with the out doors furniture and equipment. Now inside and out, the place is ready for the sales June 7 and June 14. And the farm is ready to be sold. Driving on the Sunday of a holiday weekend proved to be a good idea. The traffic was light and the trucks were mostly off the road. We expect traffic to pick up tomorrow afternoon so we will quit driving by 3:00. Of course, we just got lucky because when we planned our journey we did not realize it was a holiday weekend. I was using a Canadian calendar!! Our plan is to drive five or six hours tomorrow and leave the rest for Tuesday. Slow and steady is our motto.

May 24, 2014. Artemas, Pa. Moving On.

The Road Kill Cafe has changed. It is 4:00 in the afternoon and six tables are full of people eating. I don't know if they are eating a late lunch or an early dinner. And there is a crowd around the Alleycat Creamery. This place has become a destination spot for bikers and retired people. The best part is the WiFi. Our system is impossible but theirs is great. I would have never dreamt that The Road Kill Cafe is a hot bed of technology. Today, Ian and Rita headed north. The farm looks a whole lot better now, thanks to the efforts of the both of them. In addition to their hard work, they also kept up our spirits. We laughed together and we cried together. They came to spend these two weeks with us just to be helpful and they were. We will be eternally grateful. Our truck is loaded ready to hit the road. It is full. Some stuff will stay in Mississippi and some will continue on to Texas. Mr. Clark, the auctioneer, will come tomorrow to organize the Hill House. As soon as I teach him how to lock the doors, Ken and I will be moving out. We have enjoyed our time at the farm but it is time to drive south. Our mind will keep focused on all our good times in Pennsylvania and will not allow ourselves to dwell on what we have lost. It is the only way.

May 23, 2014. Artemas, Pa. Beginning.

No matter the circumstances, beginning a journey always brings a level of excitement. It is exciting to hit the open road. Tomorrow, Rita and Ian will begin the road north to Ottawa. Rita is still recovering so they will take two days to drive the 8 hour trip. Then on Sunday, Ken and I will drive south to Mississippi. Our tasks at the farm are done. We have done more than we ever dreamt we could accomplish, thanks to the help of Ian, Rita and Wendy. Now we must turn the efforts to the auctioneer who will sell all our belongings at the sale, June 7 for the farm house and June 14 for the Hill House. We met with the Realtors yesterday and suggested we lower the price and remove the mineral rights clause, so we are doing our best to get along with our life. We are looking forward to the next epic.

May 22, 2014, Artemas, PA Separation

Separation is always difficult. The actual separation occurs in your brain long before you actually physically depart so by the time you leave, the separation has already occurred, at least emotionally. It is interesting to note that more people remain their whole lives in Pennsylvania than in any other state. Our friends at the farm have known each other all their lives so they are not pleased for us to separate from our farm and from our friends. We are like fixtures along with everyone else in their lives. Both Ken and I love the farm.. Our Hill House is our most comfortable home. But now it no longer looks like home so we are eager to get on with our lives. It is too cold for Ken to live here all year so we must sell the farm. Today we lowered the sales price and have removed our desire to retain the mineral rights. We hope that will attract more buyers. Our decision has been made and we have already separated ourselves from the farm. It is more difficult to separate from our friends especially when they are not prone to travel and visit us. Rita and Ian are now leaving on Saturday to drive to Ottawa. Their visit here along with Wendy has been an act of love. On Sunday, Ken and I will drive south to Mississippi. We will be ready to get along with the next stage of our lives.

May 21, 2014. Artemas, Pa. Rita.

Rita has always been a bundle of energy but this past week she says that she has been useless. She does not like being useless and she wants to be perfectly well yesterday. Today she and Ian have returned to Cumberland to see the good doctor to remove her stent and to check her out. Her doctor son Sean has suggested to her that he might install another stent but she does not wish to hear about that. Evidently, Rita had a stone nestled by her kidney. The stone had barbs so as it descended, it caused damage. And she had an infection so she must clear up the infection before she feels really well. They will leave on Friday and will take two days to return to Ottawa. The 8 hour drive is too long. She has an appointment next Wednesday with a Urologist in Ottawa. And her company coming for four days on Monday has been cancelled. Now she will recover slowly and steadily but not at her speed. At least she will be at home which always feels better. Both Ian and Rita have been pleased with the patient care in Cumberland. All the medical staff were excellent, according to Ian. Ian has been working away at the farm house, cleaning the siding and the outside furniture. Poor Rita has been hanging around with me in the Hill House, taking a nap morning and afternoon. She and Wendy worked hard their first week here but since last week she has been laid low, and she does not like it. It always keeps us humble not to be at our best. I have actually enjoyed chatting with her while she has been forced to sit still. Something good comes from everything.

May 20, 2014 Artemas PA Farm in Spring

The leaves are all out on the trees. Just since we arrived, spring has arrived. This year, we are seeing an abundance of rabbits. They are everywhere. Tonight when Rita and Ian left our Hill House to return to the farm house, a cotton tail hopped all the way down the road ahead of their car. When I opened our door, he was sitting two feet from the deck looking at me, probably hoping I would leave the left over salad. And yesterday I saw a family of rabbits appear from under the deck by the old farm house. They must live under the deck. The Canada geese maintain their vigilance with their eggs. Soon the eggs will hatch. Bill T. told us that sometimes the little gosling clamber on the back of the goose and get flown away to safety., which must have happened when we saw the goslings on our corn field. Clever geese. It must also why we do not see the goslings for long on the pond. This is fortunate because our pond has snapping turtles whi like to eat baby goslings. The bluebirds are in breeding feathers and are beautiful. We see them everywhere on the farm.. Spring on the farm is almost magical with life bursting out everywhere you look. It is a grand time to be at the farm.

May19, 2014 Artemas, PA The First Step

They came and went in one foul swoop. Signature Movers arrive just before noon, lumbering up the steep hill in a big, blue moving van. We were ready. They were supposed to be here at 10:00. Sara Lou, Rita and I had been chatting but we quickly showed Bill, the owner, our organization. It was complicated but they understood that the books stacked on the floor are to be packed as are all the paintings leaning on the walls. All the china and crystal piled on the counter must be packed and of course all the stacks of family photos, along with the clothes hanging in our closets. They system was the same for the lower level. Bill and the three young men began work immediately. When we returned from lunch at The Road Kill Café, they had finished all the china and the books and most of the art. They worked efficiently and they worked hard. Ken and Ian were off cleaning machines while we three ladies sat on the screen room and watched the young men load the truck. Bill made sure to have me walk through the house to be sure they did not miss anything. Lastly, they packed the objects from the farm house and again I checked the house to be sure that nothing was left behind. All our efforts in organizing paid off.. The movers left the farm at 6:00, heading back to DC to put our stuff in storage., of course not until I had paid the bill. Step one has been done.

May 18, 2014. Artemas, Pa. A Busy Productive Day.

The dryer is calling me. My last task of the day will be to empty the clean dry clothes from the machine. I loaded the dirty clothes in the washer at 6:45 and have been on the move ever since. Busy days are good days for me. The estate sale auctioneer, Mr. Clark, arrived at 7:00 along with his two young strong workers. Their plan was to bring furniture to the first floor, to get ready for the sale on June 7. He also emptied the kitchen cabinets. Now the first floor of the farm house is unusable but there is no furniture left on the second or third floor, except the two front bedrooms. By 11:00 they had gone. Joe offered to help me, so shortly after lunch, he loaded our truck, having driven up from the city. I was wanting to clear the goods driving with us to Jackson and Texas out of the house, to avoid the movers packing them. It seemed easier to just get it out of the house. I had already packed the back seat with stuff for Mississippi. Now all the small rugs are in the truck. Ian and Rita arrived home from Cumberland late this afternoon. After chatting with Joe, Rita rested on the coach while I prepared dinner, which was Zita and salad, all found in my refrigerator. It was a busy and a productive day. And now I must keep the dryer happy and stop it beeping at me. My work day is done.

May 16, 2014. Artemas, Pa. Burdens.

Tonight we dined at the Road Kill Café.. Rita is still in the hospital so Ian, Ken and I decided not to cook. The three of us ate a full dinner and the bill was $24.. They served baked Talapia. The new owner is beginning to introduce healthy food to their menu. In the past, everything was fried. I ordered the baked fish as did our friend Guy. It will be interesting to know if it makes it to the main menu. Tonight it was the special., along with a fisherman’s platter, which of course was fried. When we arrived, Dottie and Guy were sitting at a large table by themselves so we three joined them. We like them both very much but had not seen them recently. Years ago, Dottie had a brain tumor but had fully recovered. But she now has full blown Parkinson’s Disease, along with crippling arthritis. Her medication she must take every two hours. Guy looked the same. He is an excavator and has done many jobs for us. Tomorrow he will check the culvert in our driveway and will spread new gravel on our road. All this rain has not been kind. We always enjoy talking with Dottie and Guy. This evening it was a reminder to me that many other folks shoulder heavy burdens too.

May 17, 2014. Artemas, Pa. Modern World.

Modern communications are wonderful. With a push of a button I hear that Wendy and her girls have arrived at their cottage on Lake Joseph. And I write a brief report of my daily events that quickly is sent to friends and relatives. It truly is a wonderful set of communication technology, except when it does not work. At the farm, we are using a MiFi, which is an amazing technology that takes the cell signal and connects to the Internet. It is not working so we have been forced to visit the Road Kill Café to use their WiFi. At the moment, I am not even able to pick up e mails on my iPhone. When the systems are working, I am a happy camper but when it does not work, my life gets more difficult. The Internet is wonderful but a vast network must be working in order to make the system run properly. It is called the modern world.

May 15, 2014 Artemas, PA Forward

Forward. We must look forward. Real problems arise that need attention and I must keep my eyes peeled forward. Last night, Rita had pain in her lower abdomen. The pain was severe so at 2:00, Rita, Ian and Wendy went to the hospital in Cumberland. Clever Wendy took her tablet and Rita took her cell phone so they were able to keep us up to date with the proceedings. Poor Rita was nauseated as well as in pain but once they started pain medication along with the saline drip, she was at least somewhat comfortable. The hospital folks were hoping the kidney stone would pass by itself, but it did not so tonight at 7:00, the stone was to be removed. I am awaiting a report. We suspect they will keep her overnight. Ian has been pleased with the hospital and the medical staff in Cumberland and he was very grateful that Wendy accompanied them to the hospital. She contacted the Ontario Insurance folks for permission to take each test and procedure.. I don’t know what would have happened without Wendy as Rita was in no shape to talk and Ian did not put on his hearing aid so could not have spoken on the phone. Real problems occurred and were getting resolved. Now I must keep my eyes focused on the present and the future and not dwell on the past. I know that but sometimes I forget.

Something Good, May 14, 2014 Artemas, PA

Something good comes from everything that happens. I know that. Now I am trying hard to find the something good coming from the death of Andrew. These are the only things I have come up with, despite all my efforts. We are sorting and organizing at the farm. My niece Wendy is here helping us and we are enjoying her company., along with our cousins Rita and Ian. Andrew had a big funeral, with the church mostly full. And Andrew will never need a knee replaced. When he was 6, he had an infection in his knee, which left him with a terribly sounding knee. It was only a matter of time before that knee was replaced. He will also not be forced to disclose his buisiness decline. But that is all I can think of. Instead, I still feel a huge void in my life whenever I stop to think. And when I am by myself, for no reason at all, I weep which is not like me at all.. But we are still fighting hard to find the good that will come from the death of Andrew. It is not easy.

May 13, 2014. Artemas, Pa. Friendship.

Joseph Epstein wrote a book called Friendship. He is an excellent writer and I enjoy his writing but when I read his book about friends, it seemed that if he was not a writer with a long list of e mail friends, he would not have had many friends. He talks about friends coming and going and disappearing. His friendships seemed shallow and immediate. Since Andrew died, our friends and families have rallied around us all, wrapping us in their arms from near and far. They have distracted us and fed us, comforted us and wept with us. They have been true friends. Today three more friends came to the farm to visit us. They brought laughter and plenty of food and they left us with hearts lighter than they arrived. Really good friends pick up just as they left off and although I had not seen these friends for several years, we eight chattered away as if we had seen them yesterday. They are good friends. Our work crew at the farm is impressive. Rita and Wendy are quite a team. All the pictures are off the walls and the good china and crystal is out ready for the packers. The books are being sorted and all the sheets are tied up and labelled. Ian and Ken are sorting electronics. I think we are ahead of schedule. Tomorrow, we will drive two vehicles to the recycle center in Clearville and to the Goodwill donation center in Everett. We must use two vehicles because we have too much stuff for the truck. In heaven, our work crew will get another gold star in their crowns. Once again I say,"Thank you God for family and friends."

May 12, 2014. Artemas. Pa. The Rainbow.

Tonight while sitting at dinner a huge rainbow appeared. We five were sitting in the screened porch at the Hill House enjoying the light rain. All of a sudden, the sun came out behind the house. We could still see and hear the rain and we could see the light from the sun. Someone commented that with the sun out and also the rain we should see a rainbow. Soon the rainbow appeared over the top of the hill. As we watched, a double rainbow came in sight. Wendy, Rita and I went outside to see the end of the rainbow and found it miles away. For a while, we saw one huge complete rainbow. It was a wonderful sight but impossible to catch on camera I am not a superstitious person and neither are the other four folks sitting at the dining table. But Ian, the engineer of the group, commented that this rainbow seems to be a good omen. We all agreed.

May 11, 2014. Artemas, Pa. Mother's Day.

Happy Mother’s Day. Today is the day we honor all Mothers, at least in North America. I was taught by my Father to celebrate Mother’s Day every day, not just once a year. My own Mother died years ago but I still miss her. She had a large source of knowledge stored in her head, especially the derivations of words, which is stiff difficult for me to replicate. Every so often I am irritated when I can‘t check with my Mother about the use of a specific word. I still feel fortunate to be born to such a mother as mine. And I am grateful to be a Mother myself, despite the travails of the past few weeks. The journey has been grand, despite the bumps on the road. To top our day off, we six ate ice cream sitting at our own creamery outside the Road Kill Cafe. No Mother's Day could possibly be better than that.

May 10, 2014. Artemas, Pa. The Road Kill Cafe.

The Road Kill Café now has Wi Fi. It seems unbelievable but it is true. And the Internet is fast too. Our Internet service at the farm is slow, making it difficult for Ken to transfer funds or pay bills. This morning, we four went to the Road Kill for breakfast to allow Ken to use their Internet. Yesterday, Ken took thirty minutes trying to transfer funds from our Pennsylvania bank to our Nova Scotia bank and he was not successful. After we arrived at the Road Kill this morning, before we even ordered breakfast, the task was accomplished.. We are very pleased that the new owner has purchased the place from Barbara. She was weary. Now we are even more pleased. The décor is tastefully done with antique artifacts, the food is still cheap and they have WiFi. Other folks must like it too as we took the last table in the place. Hurrah for The Road Kill Café and the new owner.

May 9, 2014. Artemas, Pa. A Dinner.

Tonight at dinner we celebrated. Tomorrow, Tim graduates from The University of West Virginia. Our host Gary, made a toast and a prayer, giving thanks for the love of friends and toasting the graduate.. Everyone at the table loved Andrew and we have known Tim his whole life, so part of the toast was the toast to long time friendships as well as the new friends Rita and Ian. Our dinner was festive, in addition to eating Diana’s delicious dinner. She is an excellent cook. Again I say, “Thank God for family and friends.” Rita and Ian arrived this afternoon from Ottawa. It is an eight hour drive but with stops for gas and a bit of shopping they arrived at 4:15 having left at 6:30. So they did well. Ken and Ian wept together as did Rita and I but since the initial greetings, we have been distracted and discussing other things, which is exactly what we need. As we are moving from the farm, I gave her one of my teapots. But I gave her a Christmas teapot and told her to drink a cup of Christmas tea and think of us. She insists on using the pot all year but we will see. Once again, my friends and family have lifted my spirits.

May 8, 2014. Artemas, Pa. Babysitters.

I do not recall ever needing a babysitter. .….until now. But it worked. Yesterday my friend spent the day helping me. Today two other Bethesda friends came to spend the day at the farm. They arrived at 11:00 and we chatted, then they helped me with chores. These tasks I could have done myself, but today and yesterday I needed a babysitter. The Road Kill Café has a new owner so we ate lunch there to check it out. The new improvements are obvious and tasteful, but the best part is that the food still is cheap. When we returned to the farm, we four sat on the screen porch and talked. And we drank tea and talked about everything in the world, including Andrew. I only cried once. It is absolutely true that I sent out a request for friends to come to help. Immediately, my friends came to help, and they did help. Both Ken and I enjoyed their company for the two consecutive days. I appreciated their presence but I did laugh to myself tonight that I basically requested a babysitter for myself for these two days. And it worked. It is a new experience for me to be in need. It certainly should keep me humble.

May 7, 2014. Artemas, Pa. The Creatures.

The geese are taking turns sitting on their nest. Through rain or through storms, the goose stays in place protecting the eggs. The other goose is usually close by, either on the pond or napping on the small dock. Every year, these Canada geese use the same spot for their nest, right beside the pond on a bit of a peninsula jutting out into the pond. I have been trying to tell the geese to use another place for their nest, one that is not so obvious to predators, but they do not listen. Last year we saw the two adults and three ducklings parading around the fields up by the Hill House. At least they did one thing right, which was to take the duckling out of the pond where the snapping turtle eats them. Instead, they took the ducklings to the creek where they could not be molested so easily. The bluebirds are in full breeding color and are magnificent. You wonder how they can be so blue. Every birdhouse has nesting birds. Until we installed the 12 bluebird boxes, we never saw a bluebird, but it took only thirty minutes for the bluebirds began making a nest in the box closest to the old farm house. It was like magic. Now we see 30 bluebirds every hour. It is a wonderful sight. This farm does restore your soul.

May 6, 2014. Artemas, Pa. A Friend Indeed.

I needed a friend and my friend came along, just in the nick of time. What a blessing she has given me. Today has been a difficult day for both Ken and me. The footsteps at the farm followed us to bed and neither of us could fall asleep. For the past few days, we have done well, but not last evening. And not today. We were missing the presence of Andrew. He loved the farm above any other place in the world and everywhere we looked we could see Andrew and we were sad. I also think we were feeling sorry for ourselves. After all, Andrew had not been at the farm since 2008, when they moved to Mississippi. We did what we always do, which was to work. Ken began the tedious task of sorting through file cabinets and I worked at the farm house, removing the pictures from the walls that we will put into storage and stacking the family pictures.. But whenever I sat still, I wept, until my friend Sara Lou e mailed asking to come and help. My immediate response was to say yes and the sooner the better. She is coming tomorrow. And she will bring chicken for lunch. Bless her heart. “Thank you God for my friends.”

May 5, 2014. Artemas, Pa. The Farm.

The red bud was in full bloom. The display along the highways and in the woods was magnificent. Ken and I both wondered why we had never noticed it before. Perhaps we missed it because of timing., or perhaps because we normally access the farm from the east. Today we drove from the west, via Morgantown and Cumberland. Our drive today was lovely, through the valleys of West Virginia. The trees have new leaves so the variety of green is huge…and beautiful. West Virginia is a lovely state. The roads have few long straight stretches and the houses are perched on the sides of the hills in picturesque fashion. There is lots of water in the creek at the farm . At the moment, I seem to see an overwhelming amount of work staring in my face but I know that tomorrow will bring renewed vigor and enthusiasm. I have already called Keith. He will replace the broken toilet seat and remove the paintings hung high on the walls. Already, we have made progress, when we asked for help. It has been suggested to me that an onion will continue to grow as long as one figures out something to do. Such a good idea..

May 4, 2014. Barboursville, West Virginia. Onions.

I have always felt that a persons life is similar to the growth of an onion. As the onion grows, more layers are added and the onion gets bigger. For a human, we start as a small baby. Year after year, the same baby adds competence and knowledge. Soon their world is bigger and the baby is no longer a baby. The former baby knows many people and has influence. The world of the baby is now large. The last step is for the world to get smaller as we age. Obviously, the analogy is not precise but I believe that the layers of my onion have gotten smaller. It is a normal process of aging I think but it is certainly true. The people in my world are departing. My cousin Diane has died as has my sister and my son Andrew. Very few folks depend on me now. The layers of my onion have shrunk. When I get very old, I always assumed we would live in a single room, because that was all we would need. I did hope that I would never live in a basement room!! I hope that when I am old and all shrunk up I will live in a room with lots of windows. Then I will be happy.

May 3, 2014. Benton, Kentucky. Ovaltine.

Ken for years has made us a cup of warm Ovaltine before we go to bed. We like it. But I can tell you that of all the people who have stayed with us over the years as house guests, no one has asked for a cup for a second night. It must be that they didn't like it. Last summer, Ken stopped doing it. There seemed to be no reason. He just stopped. Originally, we began drinking this warm drink as a soporific but as I had no trouble falling asleep, we just stopped drinking it before going to bed. Our supply of Ovaltine was drying out. A week ago, Ken began preparing us each a cup of Ovaltine. It was taking us until 4:00 each morning to fall asleep. Now I understand the impact of a placebo. During our many days at sea, I always wore my pressure wrist band and never got sea sick. Perhaps that was because the Ocean was calm, or perhaps it really worked in me to avoid nausea, or perhaps my mind told me that I was not queasy, due to my pressure wrist band. But I did not care. I wore my band and I felt fine. I suspect the same with the Ovaltine. All I know that now I fall asleep at a normal time, shortly after Ken gives me a cup of Ovaltine. The problem is that now we are on the road to the farm, staying at a Comfort Inn in Benton, Kentucky. There is no Ovaltine in this room!! Now what?

May 2, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Moving On.

Ken and I are always either coming or going. Tomorrow, we begin the long drive to our wonderful farm in Pennsylvania, which is in Artemas. Our first farm was purchased in 1973 not far from our present farm, so we have long time friends. But now we are about to break it up. The farm is for sale and our task is to sort and pitch and donate. The movers will come on May 19 to pack up only the objects we will send south. We plan to take all the art and family pictures, plus the quilts made by Mrs. Yoder in Owen Sound. I believe we have 12. Also some of the books will be packed and stored. Three pieces of furniture we will keep. A lovely old walnut hutch will go to David and Suzanne and a desk given to Ken by his Mother when he went to college we will keep, and an old truck that was my parents and a very old children's rocker that was Ken's grandmother. The good dishes and crystal will come too. The rest of our belonging will be sold at an Estate Auction. On June 7, the objects in the Farm House will be sold on sight, and the Hill House belongings will be sold June 14. It is common in rural Pennsylvania to have all the contents of a house sold outside the house on the grounds. The auctioneer will meet us at the house on May 12 to take more pictures. Ken and I will not be there at the June sales. We will be safely back in Jackson. Fortunately, we will have help. Rita and Ian are coming, as well as my niece Wendy so between the five of us, we should be ready when the movers come on the 19th. Then we load some stuff into our truck and drive back to Jackson. When we asked the girls what they wanted us to keep from the farm and bring to Mississippi they asked us to bring my cane collection and the art work. Those girls have good taste. Ken and I are moving on.

May 1, 2014. Ridgeland, Mississippi. Adversity.

Everybody in life experiences adversity. Everyone. It goes along with being human. All my life, my system has worked. I have put my head up high and gotten through the problems, trying to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. And I have worked very hard. In addition, I have tried to see the world after the issues are resolved, always looking to see how life will be better. In addition, after Susan K's lesson, I have always tried to see some gold along the way, as I passed through the shadows of death. And I never felt sorry for myself, because it did not help. My system is not perfect but I have had several thoughts since Andrew died. There has been an out pouring of love and affection from relatives and friends far and near. Church friends of Andrew and Christina are still bringing dinner to Christina. And relatives and friends gathered together to celebrate Andrew's life. All these events brought comfort to Christina and the family. So these are the pieces of gold brought on by the death of Andrew. But I am having great difficulty in seeing how life will be better without Andrew. The only blessing I can think of is that Andrew will not get early dementia. But for the rest of it, I will miss him until my dying day.