May 6, 2008. Chevy Chase, Md. Friends.

I have often wondered, of all the people we meet in a year, how we end up being friends with some and pay no attention to others. On the surface, Fred and Phyllis Ross would not seem to be compatible with us. But by virtue of our differences, perhaps we have ended up as good friends. We met in 1980, or rather, Phyllis and I met while playing tennis. After the tennis session, while drinking a soda with the ladies, Phyllis mentioned that she was a nurse and her husband worked as an asset manager. It wasn't until much later that I discovered the assets Fred managed were their own, and that Phyllis volunteered her nursing services in order to keep her nursing license active. Phyllis and I played with this same group of ladies for six weeks, then I was moved to a different group. In the meantime, Phyllis invited us over to have dinner with some other friends. Now what is interesting is that they are not like us at all, but we have a lively interesting time every time we get together. Fred Ross was not born Fred Ross. He was born in Poland in 1937, not a good year to be born Jewish in Poland. Eventually, he and his Sister ended up in Israel and at at age 18, he emigrated to Montreal to be with his Uncle and to go to College. He is an engineer by training and inclination, so this is one thing we really like about him. He knows how to do things. After his graduate degree in the US, he had a series of failed businesses. But with the deregulation of telecommunication in the offing, be built his company, then sold his company for enough money to retire at 42. He has not had a job since. The other aspect of his personality that intrigues us that , for Fred, the sky is always falling. Now both Ken and I are totally optimistic, so our differences give for many disagreements.

Phyllis is main line Jewish middle class Philadelphia. She is a birder, so when we are together, she can tell us about the birds we can not identify. The both of them like to travel. After retirement, they took four major trips a year, but after a few years, they ran out of places to go, especially as Fred has a very narrow window of acceptable places to go. Fred loves Switzerland, and they spend two months there every summer, up in a charming village high up in the Alps. And they winter in Florida in a Condo they inherited from Phyllis' parents. Fred drives a motorcycle and tows his bike down to Florida each year. Also he owns a cycle in Switzerland too, so every day when the weather is good, the two of them head off for a trip on the motorcycle. It turns out that Phyllis gets vertigo in cars, but not on the cycle.

Some things we share. The both couples have boys, three for them and two for us. We all like to eat good food. And, other than Phyllis, we enjoy good wine. The four of us are always on the move. We enjoy our grandchildren. Neither of us complain, either about our situation or our spouses. And we all read a lot, so we share books and topics. But our differences are what makes our lives together interesting I think. They are certainly good friends, but you can't imagine two couples so different!!