August 23, 2008. Western Head, N.S. Finding the Good.

Most parents when asked about their teenage children, will tell you something bad about their teen. I heard this while listening to a panel of Psychiatrists on the radio. When I heard this comment, my response was to deny it, but I started to listen and ask questions, and sure enough, most people will give a negative comment about their child. I also hear folks telling about the bad things that have happened on a trip or an outing to the city. It seems that the negative holds more interest than the good. My good friend Alice-Anne, who is Pediatrician on the faculty of Family Medicine in Galveston, once took me to task. During a visit to us when the boys were in High Scool, I was admonishing them to pick up their towels in the bathroom. She asked me a series of questions about the boys, which I could all answer in the affermative, questions such as are they polite to my friends, and do they do well in school, and do they help at home. Her advise to me was to get off their case with the towels. In other words, I fell in that trap of pointing out the negative behavior and ignoring all the good.

While teacher in Toronto, I was asked to serve on a panel dealing with discrimination in the class room. The people in charge of the session were Quakers. These good folks were my first introduction to their religion and philosophy. One dear old lady told me that the only thing consistent in all Quakers is the adage that within every person is some good, and we as people, must find that good. That concept stayed with me, so when I meet someone new, I keep looking to find that bit of good that I can enjoy and appreciate. So often I hear critical comments about others, but I have always found the ability to get along with most folks. Once again, I do not know if I learned it or was born with the ability to get along, or whether I work harder at getting along with people, but it is certainly true that I am not bothered about situations that seem to upset others. I wonder if I can help the grand-children learn this, because it certainly makes my life easier and would do the same for them. Time will tell.