February 24, 2009. Chevy Chase, Md. Nature or Nurture.

You have read so much throughout your life about the question of whether your talents and skills arrived announced with your birth or whether you had to slog and work in order to achieve the results. In the book 'Outliers', the author says the answer comes down to date of birth and to culture. I have heard these arguments all my life. When you have raised a child or two, it is clear that the child arrives into this world endowed with differences that are specific to them. Then the child is required to learn and advance their skills. Even watching a litter of dogs will make you a believer in the Nature part of the equation, as each dog acts differently from each other dog. It is clear though, that many traits and habits acquired when young will smooth your path as an adult or will cause you to re=think your path. For the most part, much of the habits nurtured by my Family, have made my life easier. For much of the time in my life, I have been able to operate on automatic pilot; in other words, I did not have to think about my reactions to events. It has made my life easier and allowed me to do my various jobs without stress. I did not have to pretend to act a certain way, that was how I responded automatically. Of course, many jobs would have been unsuitable for me with the skills and talents I was endowed, but my cultural training certainly has allowed me success in my chosen endeavours.

One thing I learned was to pay attention to the other folks in my life. My Brother tells me of bringing Mother flowers every payday, a habit my Sister picked up as did I. I did not have to be told, I just had to observe the behavior. My response to crisis is just to be quiet and listen and try to figure out what to do. Our home was not a place where people screamed at each other or yelled a lot. Just back off and figure out the options. My real estate world has benefited from that early training. My Mother did not criticize other people, in act she did not really talk much about others, certainly not their faults. As a young adult, I was uncomfortable when friends spent time gossipping about others, so I did not engage much in those conversations. That kept me out of lots of troubles. I was very busy as a teenager, as were my Parents and siblings, so I learned everything about time management during my youth from watching my parent's efficiency and by balancing my own hectic schedule. My Parents left my schedule up to me including my homework. So much of what I observed at home has worked for me very well with my careers. We were always encouraged to speak up and say our minds in dinner conversations and not to be fearful of differences of opinion. I automatically include others in a group, without even thinking about it, because that was my early training. It has certainly made my life easier, to have had that early training, to have my habits of response easy. I feel very fortunate indeed.