January 28, 2008, Chevy Chase, Maryland

I don't know if it was the best solution to the problem of a  husband who has an illness, but it was a system that worked for this wife.  My solution  was to only pay attention to Ken's health when I was required to be helpful.  The rest of the time I let Ken take care of himself.  Of course Ken does not like anyone to remind him what to do, or to monitor his activities, so for me the better part of valor was to say or do nothing, until such time when Ken needed help.  I never worried .  If there is something that I can do for Ken I have been there to help in a heart beat.  The rest of the time I put his health out of my mind, in a special box that I only opened when I am needed.  

I see other wives reminding their husbands to take their pills. I always wonder if the husband likes to have someone else be in charge of their health, or if they are secretly irritated by being treated as a child.  But no matter, in our family, Ken is in charge of his health, and I leave it all to him with pleasure.  This for me is a great survival technique, which actually will help in any difficult situations.  Just put it in a box until you have to deal with the issue, then deal with the problem, then put it back in the box.

Again, I don't know if this the best solution  for dealing with a sickly husband, but it has worked for us.