February 28, 2008. The benefits of age.

I have had a great blessing in my life. I was early taught to count my blessings. In our family we did not talk about what we did not have. We only discussed what we were going to do. This included what we had to be grateful for in our life. The result of this early training has meant that I am totally oblivious about things I can't change. And I have been accused more than once of being a Pollyanna. ( Is this common knowledge?) Now that I am 70, I can see how much pleasure that attitude of mine has brought to my life. I am often asked what about my Salvation Army background has stuck with me and what I have shed. Clearly the attitude of counting my blessings has stuck. Also the joy of living. Both great blessings in my life.

The benefits of being 70 are huge. I have had the pleasure of watching the children grow up and become competent and successful. Not only my children but the children of my friends and other family members have brought joy. One side affect of my job of twenty years has been to watch the agents gain expertise and income and then watch the children of the agents grow up, go to college and join the real world of work. And now we see the children of the children coming along. Great continuity, great comfort to the old folks. We even have a few second generation agents in the office, and that has been fun.

Ken is more excited about going to the farm this weekend than anything since surgery. This is a good sign. Up till now he has been a good soldier but now he has joined the world of the living, I believe.

February 27,2008. Chevy Chase. The Modern World.

I like the world as it is today.  Many good folks pine for the good old days.  But not me.  I like the ease of transportation and communication. Modern medicine is a marvel and both Ken and I would be dead without the technology and medicines.  Sources of information are unlimited.  So put all together, this is a wonderful world.

Today I would have gladly retreated back 20 years.  I was in the waiting room of Ken's cardiologist.  The room was full of  patients waiting to see the good Doctor.  Many of the folks were elderly, many wives along to hear the real story, and while they wait they talk softly to each other or read the outdated magazines.  Then in walks a man about 50 talking on his cell phone, all the while signing in the sheet and answering the questions all  talking on his cell phone.  He does not take off his coat, but sits down and continues this ridiculous conversation.  For the next 15 minutes he talks on his cell phone while we are forced to hear every stupid word.  The conversation was not about business, but general gossip about the next lunch date or golf game or who is going to go where this winter.  His arrogance was astonishing.  I don't think he was even aware of the other 10 people in the room.  I surprised myself by keeping quiet.  But I watched him.  Then the assistant came to ask him back to see the Doctor.  He is still on the cell phone talking when he gets up and removes his jacket, walks over to the coat rack, still talking, hangs up his jacket and stands there while the assistant  is still holding the door open for him.  He took 3 minutes to finish his call, after being told that the Doctor is ready.  All this in the office of a Cardiologist, and this jerk is all of 45 or 50.  Clearly this man thinks he is a very important person, at least in his own eyes.  But I bet he is really made up of all the rest of us, and the cardiologist will get him humble.  I bet.

One aspect of cell phone etiquette needs improvement in the modern world.  But I refrained to give him standard lecture number one.  But I wanted to.  Talk on your cell phone in a private place Sir.  Step out in the hall until you are finished.  Those are the rules in the modern world Sir!!

February 26, 2008. Chevy Chase. Rambling.

Once again I worked today for four hours.  That means that Ken was by himself for the four hours. And all was well.  Now we are going to try to ramble up to the farm this weekend.  We have 32 calves at the farm so we are very anxious to see them.  New born calves are the cutest creatures on the face of the earth.  If the weather is very cold Ken will have to walk inside.

I have been rambling through my cherry chest of drawers tonight, trying to find a charger for our xm radio.  I found an old writing came of mine full of treasures, including a letter I received from my Mother after she had died.  That was a bit creepy at the time but I treasure it now.  And I found many letters from Miss. Tomlinson, a dear friend of my grandmother.  They met in Peterborough when Miss. T was teaching my brother  2nd grade.  They were kindred spirits from the start, both well read proper ladies, and continued to be dear friends even tho they never lived in the same city.  We lived in Peterborough for four years, and grandma Houghton visited us for time to time, but she never living with us.  I often how they got to be such good friends? In those days, long letters were common, so I suppose they both kept a full correspondence.  I always exchanged Christmas cars with Miss. T. but when we moved to Washington she wrote  me and asked us to search out a statute of the seven seas with the gulls, as she had seen the statute many years ago and wondered if it was still there.  Sure enough, this statute is on the George Washington parkway.  We took pictures and when she received them she was overjoyed,  I have her letter of thanks.  Of course she was very old and long retired, but still active in her mind.  In fact she told me all about the artist and when it was built and why.

In one of her letters she told me to develop  a lot of God's grace when I was young, because when I was old I was going to need every ounce.  She was a very wise woman as I was reminded while rambling through my cherry chest of drawers.

February 26, 2008. Chevy Chase. Conflicted.

I went to work today.  I felt conflicted. On the one hand I felt like I did when leaving my child at Kindergarten.  Would this child be looked after properly?  Was the child going to be safe?  I have been at Ken's side for over 4 weeks and as I drove away I had the same anxiety.  What will happen if Ken falls?  Who will help?  On the other hand I felt like I had received a "get out of jail" card.  I was on my own on the way to the office to do my own work at my own time in my own way.  What a relief!  But today had more hurdles to leap for Ken.  He cooked dinner all by himself.  And we walked in the neighborhood for half an hour.

I think the weaning process works both ways.  Both Ken and I have to wean ourselves off each other, both on the practical side and the psychological side.  Fortunately, Ken does not like to have me hovering over him, tho he said he was very tired tonight.  I suspect that he has some anxiety when I leave him at home too.  One thing I know for sure.  The body heals faster than the soul.  The threat to a persons sense of self when very ill is torn apart, and  the confidence comes back very slowly, long after the physical healing is complete.  Everything comes together eventually, especially when you work hard at the process.

Today after school Christina and the girls came over to visit us and have a cup of tea.  When Ken was home from the hospital they came for a short visit with Ken, and we all had an after school snack and a cup of tea.  Today when Christina picked the girls up from school, Kate asked if they were coming over to see Ken.  They were just over here on Sunday, but Christina called to see if we would like a visit.  Of course we were delighted.  So we both got to fiddle with the baby Molly and hear all about Kate and Mary Frances and their day at school.  Surprise visits are just the best!!

February 24, 2008. Chevy Chase. Home.

It is always a pleasure to come home.  No matter where I have been or how much I have enjoyed my journey, coming home is unfailingly a joy.  I have often tried to figure out why this is so.  I always love to go on trip, and both Ken and I enjoy the journey.  After one day in a new spot we are perfectly comfortable.  And then we come home.  Often we are in other homes we own and where we have all our own clothes and furniture, but we still feel like home when we arrive at the apartment.  I have asked other folks about this concept, and I am told they like to sleep in their own bed, so they are happier at home. But we sleep in our own bed in Texas at the ranch, where the mattress is exactly the same as our bed in the apartment.  We have family pictures on the wall in Nova Scotia and Texas, so those houses certainly feel like home to us and do feel like our homes.  But not like our apartment.  And not like the farm.

I have tried to figure out why this is so.  Is it my desk, all so orderly with everything in the right place?  Is it the Library with all our  best books? Or is it that the furniture has been with us for a long time?  Perhaps it is the music stand I bought in Kensington in 1973 that warms my heart?  Certainly our best furniture is here.  But neither of us are tied to possessions, and we certainly are not tied to place.  At least we thought.  Other folks seem totally attached to place and we are told their families have been in town for five generations.  But our families have always moved someplace else for one reason or another.  We actually don't quite understand this attachment to one area.  But we know we are always happy to be home.

Our journey yesterday went well.  Again Continental Airline treated us well, with a young person waiting to transport Ken in a wheelchair to the connecting flight.  Two weeks later, Ken was much more able to withstand the travel.  So we were both pleased with the journey to Mexico.  Today Ken walked in the grocery store while I was shopping.  Too cold to walk outside!!

February 22, 2008, Mexico.

Tomorrow is the big day.  We fly to Houston, then to Washington, arriving home at eight o'clock, all going correctly that is.  We will use the wheelchair in the airports, which are a godsend to us.  So we are hoping for the best.  Ken looked up the weather.  32 in Washington and 70 in Harper, Texas.  Robbie and Joyce packed their coats.  We of course did not bring coats!!

This morning Ken and I went walking on the sidewalk north of our place.  Our system is to take the wheel chair, wheeled empty by me, then when Ken needs to rest he sits in the wheel chair to recover.  Last week,we went half the distance,and he rested 8 times.  Today he rested 3 times.  The temperature is perfect for walking, about 70 with a breeze.  We will miss this weather.

Tonight we are dining at a new restaurant, 'Fahita Republic', kind of a funky little restaurant outside by the canal.  Ken and I walked down to see it this morning and it looks cute, but we will let you know if the food is any good.  Taking friends to a new place is always hit and miss.  But who cares.  We'll all have fun anyway.  Joyce and Robbie have enjoyed this place.  In fact they are in the process of buying 5 weeks of a 2 bedroom and den apartment here.  Isn't that fun?  We'll have neighbors here too.

February 21, 2008. Mexico. A quiet Day.

We saw the green flash again.  All four of us.  I just can not believe it.  These past two weeks we have seen the green flash five times.  I have looked for that stupid green flash for the past 45 years.  We have been told about it.  And now we too have become believers in the green flash.  Now we have to look up what on earth this green flash is all about, now we know it can be seen.  Of course, Joyce thought she saw two green flashes.  The sunset was beautiful.

Our day was quiet but productive.  Joyce and Robbie went on a tour of the country around Puerto Vallerta, which they said was interesting but tiring.  They were glad to have taken the tour but won't be quick to take another.  Ken and I read all morning, then took the shuttle to the market, where we walked around a bit, then walked home.  More reading and walking in the afternoon, then when Joyce and Rob came home at six o'clock we all watched the sunset.  Dinner at home.  Ken is doing well when you consider that 4 weeks ago tomorrow he had his surgery.  He still has to rest and sit down after a walk of five minutes or so, and he has a bit of a nap morning and afternoon.  But he is clearly getting better.  The only thing he needs my help is to scrub his back in the shower.  Next week he will be able to drive.  He thinks that his recovery from the lung surgery was a more difficult recovery than this one.  I don't think this is so.  When he was recovering from the lung surgery in 1963 I was teaching, and I had to do my job.  We lived in an apartment on the second floor of a home.  We did not have the ability to go to Mexico.  But after I finished teaching summer school Ken and I went on a freighter cruise out of Montreal.  And then he recovered.

So we are pleased to have had this time in Mexico.  The weather is just perfect.  Not too hot and not too cold.  And just like baby bear, we are happy.