The switch does not turn to off. For the first time in my life, I am forced to take sleeping medication. When I lie down, I stay on duty. I seem unable to turn this patch of troubles into a game or a challenge. I have preached the gospel that stress was always internal. In other words, the activity is not the problem. The problem becomes yours if you accept the stress as your own. In the past, I have been able to deal with my situations without allowing my body. to be tense with anxiety. After all, Ken and I have experienced great difficulties.
I function during the day. I am enjoying Kenny and Anne. I spend time with Ken. I enjoy myself. But when I lie down to rest, I do not relax. My body surges with energy and my brain works a mile a minute. So in order to sleep, I take a little white pill. I have learned to keep our goals short term and deal with only items I can control. That seems to work during the day. Part of the situation is that I feel irritated with myself that I have gotten into such a snit. Somehow or other, I should be able to keep a better grip. Now I am wondering when I will be able to find my off switch. I suspect it has something to do with Ken's health. My normal will return, sometime. But not tonight.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
January 30, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Another Day.
This is a tough hill we are climbing. But we are climbing. Ken's infection's are almost gone and he is eating proper food. He is having physical therapy twice a day to build up his strength. The next item to deal with is his plumbing. Evidently the tubes from the bladder are plugged and his prostate is enlarged. That is the main issue now. We will see what happens next. Kenny and Anne are at the hospital keeping him company and helping with dinner. Ken is fighting hard.
My immune system has bounced back. My white cells are at 6. I have been off Ibrance for 3 weeks. Tonight I begin again. My blood was drawn this morning and results e mailed to my Oncologist and to me. That is good news. When I was admitted to the hospital my white cells were at 2. So my body has been working non stop despite the stress. Last night for the first time in my life I took a sleeping pill. Ken's doctor wrote me a prescription when he asked if I was sleeping well. I was honest so he quickly told me to use medication.
This morning Ken and I spent all morning either on the phone or the computer, trying to set up for the future financial items. I am embarrassed to note that we were negligent to have everything in order for poor David and Christina. We were foolish. But bit by bit we are making progress. I again spent all afternoon at the hospital. Poor Kenny and Anne spent a short time at the Farmer's Market. At least this afternoon they were able to sit by the pool. So another day has passes. Our goals are short term. "Inch by inch," reminded Suzanne R. to me. Not easy when we have so far to go. But here we go.
My immune system has bounced back. My white cells are at 6. I have been off Ibrance for 3 weeks. Tonight I begin again. My blood was drawn this morning and results e mailed to my Oncologist and to me. That is good news. When I was admitted to the hospital my white cells were at 2. So my body has been working non stop despite the stress. Last night for the first time in my life I took a sleeping pill. Ken's doctor wrote me a prescription when he asked if I was sleeping well. I was honest so he quickly told me to use medication.
This morning Ken and I spent all morning either on the phone or the computer, trying to set up for the future financial items. I am embarrassed to note that we were negligent to have everything in order for poor David and Christina. We were foolish. But bit by bit we are making progress. I again spent all afternoon at the hospital. Poor Kenny and Anne spent a short time at the Farmer's Market. At least this afternoon they were able to sit by the pool. So another day has passes. Our goals are short term. "Inch by inch," reminded Suzanne R. to me. Not easy when we have so far to go. But here we go.
Monday, January 29, 2018
January 29, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Coincidence.
The Jungle Tour is an interesting 2 hour slow ride up the canal, looking for crocodiles, birds and Iguanas. Katey and Brock took the trip last year and suggested that Kenny and Anne would enjoy the short trip. So this afternoon, they did. They took a non organized boat but it all worked out. They actually have a picture of iguanas mating, something you don't see often. And they had pictures of the big reptiles. They were happy with the trip.
When they were almost back at the dock, they began looking for Canadian flags on the sailing vessels. As they were perusing one of the boats, they saw two people they recognized. After closer inspection, they realized that the people kept their boat in Vancouver three slips over from them, so they hailed them and sure enough, they knew each other. The driver of the tour boat turned around and had them get off the boat onto the friends boat. They had a nice visit. But what a coincidence. These folks have had their boat at the slip for 6 weeks. Three of those weeks the friends had flown to Vancouver for some appointments and they had just returned to PV three days ago. And they were just about to get off the boat for some exercise. The timing was perfect. It was great fun just hearing of the encounter. Kenny and Anne will connect with those folks this week, perhaps having them come to Playa for a swim and visit.
As expected, Kenny and Anne are being wonderful. Again this evening they are visiting with Ken, helping to eat his dinner and generally talking. Their routine has been for Kenny to visit Ken in the morning for a couple of hours or more, then come home and plan for their afternoon. Then I have been spending the afternoon and early evening with Ken. Again, Kenny and Anne come to the hospital around seven, when I come home. They are good company for both Ken and me. Soon they will return and cook dinner. We am fortunate with our family.
When they were almost back at the dock, they began looking for Canadian flags on the sailing vessels. As they were perusing one of the boats, they saw two people they recognized. After closer inspection, they realized that the people kept their boat in Vancouver three slips over from them, so they hailed them and sure enough, they knew each other. The driver of the tour boat turned around and had them get off the boat onto the friends boat. They had a nice visit. But what a coincidence. These folks have had their boat at the slip for 6 weeks. Three of those weeks the friends had flown to Vancouver for some appointments and they had just returned to PV three days ago. And they were just about to get off the boat for some exercise. The timing was perfect. It was great fun just hearing of the encounter. Kenny and Anne will connect with those folks this week, perhaps having them come to Playa for a swim and visit.
As expected, Kenny and Anne are being wonderful. Again this evening they are visiting with Ken, helping to eat his dinner and generally talking. Their routine has been for Kenny to visit Ken in the morning for a couple of hours or more, then come home and plan for their afternoon. Then I have been spending the afternoon and early evening with Ken. Again, Kenny and Anne come to the hospital around seven, when I come home. They are good company for both Ken and me. Soon they will return and cook dinner. We am fortunate with our family.
Sunday, January 28, 2018
January 28, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. A Better Day.
The day was better than yesterday. Ken spent an hour chatting with Kenny this morning, which Ken enjoyed. Then I went over before noon and stayed with him all afternoon, finally coming back to the condo at 6:30. Ken had been moved to a regular floor yesterday which makes life easier, as there is a couch and a chair. And the room overlooks the mountains.
Kenny and Anne walked the beach, as far as the rock groin, then wound their way back via the hotel and the plaza and the hospital, stopping by Ken's room to say hello. The visit was brief but Ken enjoyed their company. Ken was clearly feeling better today. He sat in the big chair for several hours while we watched the All Star hockey game. Before that we talked so he was awake the better part of the day. Last night when he was not sleeping, he did lots of exercises with his arms and legs. The physical Therapist worked him out this afternoon too. She forces him to count in Spanish which is cute to hear. Now Kenny and Anne have just changed from their bathing suits and have gone over for a visit and to help with his dinner.
For dinner we will eat left over soup, which will be easy for everyone. Ken and Anne had lunch in a little outside restaurant at the Mall. They were hoping it was real Mexican which it was. "The flavors are different and unusual," said Anne. Not Text Mex. The sunset also was beautiful tonight. A big yellow ball dropping over the horizon is always impressive. Today was a better day. Now I hope for a good night's sleep, which has been evading me. But we are on a roll!!
Kenny and Anne walked the beach, as far as the rock groin, then wound their way back via the hotel and the plaza and the hospital, stopping by Ken's room to say hello. The visit was brief but Ken enjoyed their company. Ken was clearly feeling better today. He sat in the big chair for several hours while we watched the All Star hockey game. Before that we talked so he was awake the better part of the day. Last night when he was not sleeping, he did lots of exercises with his arms and legs. The physical Therapist worked him out this afternoon too. She forces him to count in Spanish which is cute to hear. Now Kenny and Anne have just changed from their bathing suits and have gone over for a visit and to help with his dinner.
For dinner we will eat left over soup, which will be easy for everyone. Ken and Anne had lunch in a little outside restaurant at the Mall. They were hoping it was real Mexican which it was. "The flavors are different and unusual," said Anne. Not Text Mex. The sunset also was beautiful tonight. A big yellow ball dropping over the horizon is always impressive. Today was a better day. Now I hope for a good night's sleep, which has been evading me. But we are on a roll!!
Saturday, January 27, 2018
January 27, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Ken and Anne.
Anne cooked tuna for dinner. It was delicious. They arrived from Vancouver just this afternoon and already they have been to the swimming pool, walked on the beach and visited Ken in the hospital. They are busy people. I am delighted to have them here. In addition to exploring the area, they will help with visiting Ken in the hospital, and to keep me company.
At dinner this evening, we talked about their plans for the future. They have purchased a bigger, more sturdy sail boat, in order to spend a few years sailing the high seas. Retirement is coming soon, perhaps in a year or two, and they will sail away, for their first venture coming to Mexico. Then maybe heading to the Pacific Islands. They want to be able to take these ventures while they are still able. Their plan is to sell their house and buy something smaller, which they would rent when they head away. It all seems adventuresome and fun, but also fraught with issues. But as I said to them, if the new life style does not suit, they can always return to Vancouver and go back to work.
Ken has been moved to a regular floor. I spent the evening with him. He is so weary. Not eating properly. I despair. But never say that out loud. Perhaps that is why I am not able to sleep. I feel so sorry for him. He said tonight that the only place he can go these days is to go to sleep. Not an easy time for him, or for me. Kenny and Anne's presence will help both Ken and me. So here we go.
At dinner this evening, we talked about their plans for the future. They have purchased a bigger, more sturdy sail boat, in order to spend a few years sailing the high seas. Retirement is coming soon, perhaps in a year or two, and they will sail away, for their first venture coming to Mexico. Then maybe heading to the Pacific Islands. They want to be able to take these ventures while they are still able. Their plan is to sell their house and buy something smaller, which they would rent when they head away. It all seems adventuresome and fun, but also fraught with issues. But as I said to them, if the new life style does not suit, they can always return to Vancouver and go back to work.
Ken has been moved to a regular floor. I spent the evening with him. He is so weary. Not eating properly. I despair. But never say that out loud. Perhaps that is why I am not able to sleep. I feel so sorry for him. He said tonight that the only place he can go these days is to go to sleep. Not an easy time for him, or for me. Kenny and Anne's presence will help both Ken and me. So here we go.
Friday, January 26, 2018
January 26, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. The Weather./
Yesterday was a dull, gloomy day. The sky was overcast the whole time. People from the north do not enjoy those days. They grumble. And expect the sun will shine brightly every day. After all, they are living in Paradise Village. We even got rain which is very unusual during the winter. Two loud claps of thunder and lightning were so bright and loud that I thought a plane had exploded. The bright lights and the loud noise arrived simultaneously. It wasn't until the second thunder could be heard that I realized that we were having a thunder storm, complete with pouring rain. But that was all.
Today, everyone was thrilled with the perfect weather. I went to the pool this afternoon to catch some vitamin D. For a few days and nights I was focusing on the problems with my life so I decided to enjoy the weather and the pool and the hot tub. It was just what the doctor ordered. I chatted with my Italian friend who I bonded with years ago when I helped her with her swimming. I never was able to increase her swimming prowess, but we became friends. The conversation of about 30 minutes after my swim was a welcome distraction. And on my way up to our condo, I recited all the positives in my life, beginning with m,y ability to walk and talk. From now on, I will try not to dwell on my difficult issues, especially in the middle of the night when I can not sleep.
As an added bonus, Ken was brighter and more alert today. This afternoon, he was sitting in a chair, although he is still in ICU. Tomorrow, all being well, he will return to the regular floor, which will be a great blessing. All in all, the weather today was a blessing as was Ken's condition. And to top it off, Kathy and Ted are bring dinner. I am a fortunate lady indeed.
Today, everyone was thrilled with the perfect weather. I went to the pool this afternoon to catch some vitamin D. For a few days and nights I was focusing on the problems with my life so I decided to enjoy the weather and the pool and the hot tub. It was just what the doctor ordered. I chatted with my Italian friend who I bonded with years ago when I helped her with her swimming. I never was able to increase her swimming prowess, but we became friends. The conversation of about 30 minutes after my swim was a welcome distraction. And on my way up to our condo, I recited all the positives in my life, beginning with m,y ability to walk and talk. From now on, I will try not to dwell on my difficult issues, especially in the middle of the night when I can not sleep.
As an added bonus, Ken was brighter and more alert today. This afternoon, he was sitting in a chair, although he is still in ICU. Tomorrow, all being well, he will return to the regular floor, which will be a great blessing. All in all, the weather today was a blessing as was Ken's condition. And to top it off, Kathy and Ted are bring dinner. I am a fortunate lady indeed.
Thursday, January 25, 2018
January 25, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Surprises.
At 7:45 this morning the phone rang in the condo. The hospital was calling to tell me that I was required to come to the hospital immediately because Ken was being transported to the main San Javier Hospital in Puerto Vallarta for a test. I was required to accompany the ambulance and to sign the authorization to transport. I was still in bed. I dressed and walked to the hospital, which is just across the road. No breakfast and no coffee and no shower. Then I sat beside Ken's bed waiting. After a 20 minute delay, the young men unloaded Ken and in we went. The driver was careful and did not use the siren as this was not an emergency. The Cardiologist wanted an echo cardiogram. This drive into PV is busy with commercial ventures all along the road.
Once at the main hospital Ken was wheeled to the correct section, with me following along. I sat in the room with Ken while the Cardiologist administered the test. He told me that Ken's heart is strong. Not perfect but strong, which he said is why Ken is able to fight these multiple infections. So back we go to the ambulance and drive back to Nuevo Vallarta. But this time we had sirens blaring. I asked the driver why, and he told me that the use of the siren was to help the traffic. "We have a heavy work load, and we must make each trip as quickly as possible"said he. The cars do pull over as you approach making the drive back quicker than going.
We arrived at 10:30, and as visiting hours are from 11 to 1, I decided to stay beside Ken's bed, even though he was mostly sleeping. A smart phone is a godsend at a hospital. When I was leaving just before 1:00, I had my backpack on the counter while I removed the gown and hat. But my backpack fell into the sink, where there is an automatic spray of water to wash your hands. I was obviously not at my best because it took me a few seconds to realize that the tap was spraying water all over my stuff. And that was the funniest thing that happened today.
Once at the main hospital Ken was wheeled to the correct section, with me following along. I sat in the room with Ken while the Cardiologist administered the test. He told me that Ken's heart is strong. Not perfect but strong, which he said is why Ken is able to fight these multiple infections. So back we go to the ambulance and drive back to Nuevo Vallarta. But this time we had sirens blaring. I asked the driver why, and he told me that the use of the siren was to help the traffic. "We have a heavy work load, and we must make each trip as quickly as possible"said he. The cars do pull over as you approach making the drive back quicker than going.
We arrived at 10:30, and as visiting hours are from 11 to 1, I decided to stay beside Ken's bed, even though he was mostly sleeping. A smart phone is a godsend at a hospital. When I was leaving just before 1:00, I had my backpack on the counter while I removed the gown and hat. But my backpack fell into the sink, where there is an automatic spray of water to wash your hands. I was obviously not at my best because it took me a few seconds to realize that the tap was spraying water all over my stuff. And that was the funniest thing that happened today.
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