The switch does not turn to off. For the first time in my life, I am forced to take sleeping medication. When I lie down, I stay on duty. I seem unable to turn this patch of troubles into a game or a challenge. I have preached the gospel that stress was always internal. In other words, the activity is not the problem. The problem becomes yours if you accept the stress as your own. In the past, I have been able to deal with my situations without allowing my body. to be tense with anxiety. After all, Ken and I have experienced great difficulties.
I function during the day. I am enjoying Kenny and Anne. I spend time with Ken. I enjoy myself. But when I lie down to rest, I do not relax. My body surges with energy and my brain works a mile a minute. So in order to sleep, I take a little white pill. I have learned to keep our goals short term and deal with only items I can control. That seems to work during the day. Part of the situation is that I feel irritated with myself that I have gotten into such a snit. Somehow or other, I should be able to keep a better grip. Now I am wondering when I will be able to find my off switch. I suspect it has something to do with Ken's health. My normal will return, sometime. But not tonight.
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