Happy Valentine's Day to all. I am reading a biography of John Adams. As he and his wife Abigail were often separated while he was away on politics, both in Philadelphia and in Europe, they wrote copious letters back and forth, loving letters of support. Often, they described how they felt when apart, which was basically, not good. They felt better physically and functioned and thought better if they were together. But at no time in any letter did they say to each other I Love You.
Now, John and Abigail were from Mass., who used to be proper in dealings with others. But now in 2011, I Love You is used at the end of any phone conversation or when saying goodbye anywhere in America. To a Canadian, it seems false and trite. We do not, in public anyway, easily tell people I Love You. In one way, I think it is a good idea to let your family members know that you love them, but it is infinitely more important to show your family by your actions that you love them rather than just say the words.
I have observed family members impose on each other, requesting car rides or help here and there, making very difficult for the family member to comply, and the conversation is ended with I Love You. It seems insincere.
I am trying to say the words to my grandchildren, who after all, are Americans. But they also have been taught that Canadians don't speak that way at least not all the time. Are we less loving, us Canadians? I don't think so. I, for one, am always more interested in the action than the words.
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