December 11, 2019. Madison, Mississippi. Living Alone.

Ken died one year ago today. Since then I have been living alone. In the early years of our marriage we made an agreement to not be apart unless absolutely necessary, which is what we did. Ken and I had the good fortune to love each other and we were able to get along. We enjoyed each others company. Ken had hundreds of ideas of things he wanted to do. And he looked up information for us. When I was forced to live without Ken, I knew the ideas and the research would end. My friend Doreen commented to me that my life would be easier since Ken died. She was right. My life is easier but not nearly as interesting. As I look back at my year without Ken I realize that, for the past two years, I had spent many hours by myself, so I was in training to live alone. The last year of Ken's life was difficult for Ken. He coped by listening to audio books. And he used the ear buds when watching TV so many times conversations with Ken were impossible. In addition, I had always had a life away from Ken and the family so I was used to being in charge of at least part of my days. Those two things have stood me in good stead when he died. My friend Butch told me that living along is not all bad and that there were advantages. I think of the TV clicker. My friend Alice Anne told me that nothing would happen to me unless I made it happen. I took all the bits and pieces of advice and tried to make a life then gave me pleasure. And I think Ken would be pleased with me too. So after one year I am still walking and talking and not complaining. I am managing quite well.