May 11, 2020. Madison, Mississippi. Sleeping.

I always thought that sleeping was normal and automatic. Over the years, if I did not fall asleep quickly, I knew there was a reason. If I drank coffee in the afternoon I stayed awake. Same for getting over tired. Ken, who was a poor sleeping thought me not fair because I always fell asleep immediately, at least according to Ken. Actually, he never knew if I was not asleep because once upon a time I read an article that said a person received benefit if they rested quietly in bed. So that was what I did. Ken on the other hand always got up if he was not going to sleep and read a book until he felt sleepy. The same thing during the night. He was prone to wander around the house in the middle of the night. Sleeping for Ken was not normal or automatic. But when Ken was ill in Mexico I would fall asleep immediately and sleep for three hours, then wake up. I could not go back to sleep. Finally I was given sleeping pills which did the job. I used them for 30 days and never again. But now, often I stay awake when I go to bed. At first, I go through my day to try and figure out why I am awake. Did I eat dark chocolate after breakfast? Did I drink too much iced tea at lunch? Did I not get enough exercise? Did I go to bed too late? I have this little experiment going on in my brain to try and figure out why I am staying on duty. Sometimes when I stay awake I get up and drink a cup of hot milk. Because I must eat something with my last meds I often get indigestion so I get up and chew one of Ken's Tums. If it gets to be 2:00 and I am still wide awake I get up and take 2 Ibroproven which generally will do the job. I no longer think sleeping is automatic. But sleeping is closer to magical these days. I have no idea what will happen next when I go to bed. But I am trying to figure it out.