January 6, 2019. Playa Royale, Mexico. Being a Widow.

Until now, I have paid little attention to widows. Now I realize that I know only two extremes. On the one hand is the widow who never recovers after the death of their spouse. Queen Victoria comes into that category. I have seen present day examples who keep a shrine to the deceased husband in their home and continue to bemoan their lot. We all see them. On the other hand is the widow who gets on with their life ands although missing their husband, start a whole new life and become successful in their own right. My own Mother is the perfect example of this type. She had a full new and successful career after my Father died and she retired from being a Salvation Army Officer. When she died, she was in charge of the order department off a Canadian Publishing company and was successful in her own right. I suspect that most widows come in-between the extremes. One factor is the intangibles. One new bride commented to me that after her wedding, she felt more confident. I agreed with her. Being loved and loving another brings much confidence so perhaps there is a loss of confidence when one becomes a widow. I did observe in my mother an increase of anxiety after my father died. My mother was confident but I detected an increase in anxiety that I never saw before. My Mother was busy and active. She was good at her job and she was active with her social life and her family. But her anxiety increased. And it never left. Maybe I imagined it. We certainly did not talk about anxiety. But I wonder if being alone all the time brings added anxiety. I supposed I will find out.