December 31, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Resolutions.

The puzzle is complete. Suzanne, Allison, Sarah and Abby stayed up late. By 12:30, it was done and they cheered. Poor Samantha, who has been ill, was trying to get to sleep on the couch. They were resolved to complete the puzzle before they left. Today, they were gleeful when showing me the completed puzzle, which happened to be difficult. But it is done. Every so often, I think New Years Resolutions on New Year's Eve. But not this year. Instead I will try to fill my life with love and laughter every day. I will try not to complain about my ailments large and small. I will try not to find fault. I have a habit of trying to have things done in a better way which served no purpose but perhaps decreased my enjoyment. I will try not to do that. The most important resolution will be to be grateful. I do not wish to be a weeping widow. Rather I will honor my marriage to Ken by being joyful and for thanking God for all my blessings. I am determined to have a happy heart. So far I am doing well but I am not perfect. I have my moments. My Texas Family left for home today and I miss them. we had a wonderful time. Sara Lou is coming on the 3rd. All is well.

December 30, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. The Jigsaw Puzzle.

The puzzle was started yesterday afternoon. When we came up from the beach restaurant and before we went to dinner, Suzanne and Allison opened the box and started in to work. They have been working on it ever since. Sarah and Abigail joined in every now and again. Samantha, who is feeling better, did not help except to cheer them on. Today it rained, so we once again were lazy. David, Suzanne and I sat on the balcony and when the girls woke up sometime around noon, began to work on the puzzle. They have had a wonderful time. Allison and Suzanne were determined to complete the puzzle before leaving tomorrow but at the moment, it is not complete. Wonderful Wendy gave me the puzzle three years ago but the box went unopened. The puzzle is a picture of tea pots and is difficult. Ken and I do not work jigsaw puzzles. We had guest who might have enjoyed doing it but we always needed the dining table. Every year I brought it to the condo from the locker and every year I put it back...until now. Suzanne set it up on the coffee table. Chairs were brought to the table. The coffee table was moved off to the side and from then until now, Suzanne, Allison and Sarah worked on the puzzle. Right now at 10:45, David has gone to bed as has Samantha who sleeps on the pulled out couch. Abigail has been reading all day sitting on a chair in the living room. Allison is determined to complete the puzzle so is urging the three to keep to the task. Now they are filling in the background, which is the most difficult part. Great whoops come when a new piece is put in place. They are having a wonderful time, all thanks to Wonderful Wendy and the new puzzle. Tomorrow they must leave the condo at 11:15 to go to the airport. Allison is determined to have it completed. I am betting on it.

December 29, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Update.

We have the most wonderful lazy week. Today was the laziest. And we all loved it. The goal for the week for everyone in the family was to chill. Rest and relaxation was the order of every day. The girls have slept in every day. In the afternoon the girls sit on the beach and read. David and I sit by the pool. Suzanne sometimes is at the pool and sometimes at the beach. Bit by bit, people go up to shower and get ready for dinner. Poor Samantha came down with strep throat, which is what Allison has just gotten over. Medication was given to Samantha and now she is beginning to recover but she has slept most of the last 2 days. For dinner, I have selected our restaurants while David has paid the bill. Pretty good deal for me. David announced the first day that as I was providing the accommodation, he would pay for the meals. We have had memorable meals. Perhaps the Porto Bello was the best. Today was the laziest. The girls stayed in the condo all afternoon and either read or started a jigsaw puzzle. David and I went to the beach restaurant for lunch and to watch football. Two big TV's have been installed in the restaurant so we just stayed all afternoon. Suzanne joined us for a while and eventually the girls came for a snack late in the afternoon. Our day was delightful. After dinner we took a cab home and watched more football. Our day was delightful and was enjoyed by everyone.

December 28, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Decisions.

Many decisions for Ken and I were already decided. In our homes, Ken was responsible for everything outside and I was responsible for everything inside the house. We had nothing to argue about on that score. Sometimes Ken would ask me where he thought he should plant the oak leaf hydrangea but I seldom passed judgement because I knew he would plant it in the right spot. As Ken is left handed, his milk was always on the left side of the fridge and mine was on the right side. If we had double sinks in our bathroom, he always had the left sink. When you lie in bed, Ken always slept on the left side. Our life was made easy and we never argued about those types of decisions. But now I must make decisions on my own. The first night I was in the condo in Mexico all by self, I put all my medications in my bed side table. I put on my nightshirt and went to the bathroom before retiring. I noticed that Ken's side was closer to the bathroom so I had to have a talk to myself and convince myself that it was OK to sleep on Ken's side of the bed. I wondered if I would feel weird. I decided it would be safer for me to be closer to the bathroom. So I slept on Ken's side and made the decision all by myself. I slept well and have been sleeping on Ken's side ever since. I feel sure I will be required to make many decisions all by myself in the future but so far, all has been well. My decision to keep close to the bathroom was a success. Hats off to me.

December 27, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Evenings on the Balcony.

For the past two nights, we sat on the balcony after we came home from dinner. In the past, I sat on the balcony during the day and always to watch the sunset but we never sat outside after dark. But it has been pleasant. Surprisingly, we spot lights out at sea. And we watch airplanes crossing the sky. And we talk. The girls come and go. They sit with us for a bit and talk, then wander off to bed to read. David, Suzanne and I sit in the dark and watch the action in the condos across the courtyard. Some of the Tv's are so big we can see what is being watched. The air is just a bit chilly so keeps us awake. Eventually, David decides to read in bed so I retreat to the computer while Suzanne gives a goodnight kiss to all four girls. Peace reigns in our home. Samantha woke up this morning with a sore throat so she slept most of the day. She stayed in the condo while everyone was at the beach or the pool. And she stayed home when we went to the Porto Bello restaurant for dinner. We hope by tomorrow she will be feeling better. All girls are enjoying their rest and relaxation. David and Suzanne too. All 6 are tired out. Their rule for the visit here is to chill. No cooking. Just relaxing and reading and pool and beach time. The quiet evenings in the dark on the balcony are extra special to me. I like talking in the dark while watching for lights at sea. Pretty special.

December 26, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Full House.

Abigail would love me to turn off the light so she can go to sleep. She is using the pull out couch in the living room as her bedroom as our house is full, which is a great blessing for me. The third bedroom has two Queen sized beds but Sarah sleeps with arms out both sides so Abigail elected to make her bed in the living room. Trying to sleep in the bed with Sarah is difficult. Allison and Samantha have no trouble fitting in the same bed. Every bed in our condo is being used. We have had a lovely day. They arrived at 1:30 and after changing and dropping off their cases, we ate lunch at the beach restaurant, which was a perfect spot for a first meal. The place was crowded, which I have never seen before so the service was predictably slow. Directly after lunch, they all walked to the crocodile slide at Paradise Village. At lunch they were describing the slide as a tall slide and scary too. The rest of the afternoon was spent lounging by the pool, and taking naps in the sun. They started their day very early. I had made a reservation for 7:00 at The Riviera Grill. We walked with me holding onto two arms as it was dark. The place was charming and the food excellent. By 10:00, everyone was in bed. The day of travel is always tiring especially when your first flight is at 6:00. I am so pleased to have them here. I will enjoy their company.

December 25, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. Christmas Day 2018.

The last tine Ken and I spent Christmas Day in Playa Royale alone, we did not like it. So since that time, we have turned down the offer to be here Christmas week. But this year, as the grandchildren were older, we decided to book the week because we thought one or another of the families would want to come. But they did not. The Texas family is coming on Boxing Day. As I am following our plan, I have been here alone since Dec.22. As I thought about my time by myself in the condo, I tried to figure out a way to survive and thrive. My solution worked well and I have enjoyed my time by myself. I have tried to be busy. The solution is not new. It is the old fashioned way to thrive. I took all the clothes from the lockers. I laundered all my clothes. And I discarded Ken's clothes. I emptied and put away everything from the bags. When I ran out of anything to do, I went to the big grocery store, Mega. The Mexican families were there en mass, gleefully putting goodies in their mother's shopping cart. Being in a grocery store on Christmas Eve is probably not smart but I enjoyed the crowds and the glee. People seemed to be having a good time, and so did I. This afternoon I finally had nothing to do so I went down to the swimming pool, which is a lovely spot. I swam and used the hot tub and I enjoyed my time there. I am surprised that I did as well as I did here all by myself. My plan worked. I stayed grateful for my many blessings. And I kept busy. But I look forward to seeing the Texas tomorrow. Enough is enough.

December 24, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. The Bar.

Robbie loves the little bar at Paradise Village. Ken and I have enjoyed it too. During Happy Hour, the drinks are two for the price of one so when you order a bottle of beer, 2 bottles come to the table. When there are four people at the table, the scene looks ridiculous. Then we laugh. I have happy memories of that bar. I walked to the Hotel/Time Share to change dollars for pesos. I must take my passport. I give over three American bills and receive a fist full of pesos. All of a sudden I feel rich. Before walking back I stop in the bar for a cup of coffee and a glass of water. The bar was almost empty so pleasantly quiet. One of the things I do not like about the bar is the noise. When it is full you can not hear. Then I leave. Where I was sitting I could see the pool that has two alligator slides. To get to the slide, the child must climb the stairs, cross a suspension bridge than splash into the pool. When the twins were young, they must have taken 500 trips down that slide. And they loved every one. I was enjoying my coffee and the memories when I discovered that four television sets were on, all on football games. I was in hog heaven. Not only was I sitting in a lovely bar with a good view, but I get to see games. I stayed for ninety minutes. Then I took the shuttle back to Playa Royale. One walking trip was enough and I was able to watch more football. I had a good day.

DECEMBER 23, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. The First Lunch.

Yesterday after opening my bags snd putting things away I went for lunch at the beach restaurant which is on our resort property. Ken and I have enjoyed the place over the years because you sit on a tile floor even though you are on the beach, plus the whole place is covered so you are shaded. While you eat, you are able to watch the children frolicking in the water and see all the folks looking odd in bathing suits. While an obese person would ever wear a bikini is beyond me, but they do. I am not used to dining alone but I had no choice because there was no food in the condo. Sweet Suzanne ordered a supply of food to be delivered to the condo but it arrived in the afternoon, so down I went thinking I might be sad. But I wasn't. The service is always slow so I got to watch people. I sat at the first table beside the walkway so I was able to see everyone in the restaurant. And I listened to every conversation. One table just two rows over had eight people. They were already eating but I could hear that the group was expecting more to arrive. Apparently a large group was gathering for the Christmas season. As each group arrived, the plan was to check in, then gather at the beach restaurant. By the time it ended, 18 people were at the table. Each new group arrived and ordered a new order of guacamole. And everyone would laugh. There must be a private joke. I actually ate a whole order of french fries with my chicken cassadea. And I ordered a platter of fruit, which I am still enjoying today. Mexican ice cream is delicious so I ate an order of chocolate before leaving, but only one scoop!. The weather was perfect. Warm and sunny. I enjoyed my first meal alone, much to my surprise.

December 22, 2018. Playa Royale, Mexico. all Done.

Here I am and the computer is working. Whew. Everything connected automatically. Coming as I did from Dallas meant that I arrived at 11:30, before the rush of the afternoon arrivals so when we entered the large room for immigration and customs, the place was empty. I arrived at our condo just before noon. This was the fastest trip ever. The condo and resort looks wonderful. Our unit was clean and I could get right in. I have yet to empty the locker but the bags that arrived with me are put away and I have opened an account with Marlin, so I will go for lunch at the restaurant on the beach. I am safe and sound. While waiting for the flight to Dallas I spotted a lady with weird colored hair. She was in a wheel chair. Her hair was not a color made by God. It was the color of rust. I could not understand that a lady of 65 would ever keep that color. It looked awful. On inspection, I could see that her face looked like a horse, with a long thin face which was big. And she did not look pleasant. I was fascinated. If it was a wig, it was a bad choice and if it was dyed, she should have tried again. She looked ridiculous. It was nicely groomed but oh, the color. Just awful. You see a lot of odd people when you travel. I CERTAINLY SAW A FUNNY ONE TODAY.

December 21, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Traveling Alone.

Ever since the time of the internet, Ken has had the same pattern: as soon as we moved into either our home or a hotel, Ken would immediately set up our devices. Shortly my phone, iPad and computer would be connected and running smoothly. I have never done it myself...until now. Today I leave for Dallas, where I will stay overnight at the airport hotel, the Hyatt. When we planned the trip we decided that one flight a day was feasible for Ken, so our plan to stay in Dallas without leaving the airport would be wise. Tomorrow we then would go on to PV. I am just following the plan because it was easier. So here I go. Tomorrow I arrive at the condo and it remain to be seen if I am able to connect to the Internet and then to Google. I recall that I was unable to write my wee blog when Ken was in the hospital so I expect problems. My problem was Google. I could not get out of Mexican Google. I had been forced to call the tech person at Playa to come and connect me so I was able to use e mail but I could not do the blog. I will not try at the hotel. If you are not able to read my Ramblings tomorrow, you will know the problem. So here I go. This will my first venture all by myself. If I have difficulties I will ask for help. In the large airports I will use the wheelchair and a pusher. One issue is sight. I have difficulty seeing the signs to find out where I am going. At Playa Royale I will be in a protected environment so I should be fine. Today begins a new venture, all by myself. Who knows? I might enjoy traveling alone. I will report back soon.

December 20, 2018. Madison,. Mississippi. Recycle.

Having flowers in the home at a time of death is valuable. The lovely flowers are beautiful and they seem alive so they are comforting. Several kind friends and relatives have sent me flowers. There were not so may to be overwhelming but they added to our gathering for Ken on Wednesday and I have enjoyed having the flowers in the home. They all still look perfect but I am leaving, so I asked Kashina to help me and I asked her if she knew anyone who would enjoy flowers. She had a brilliant idea. Kashina lives in Crystal Springs, a small town south of Jackson. Her family has lived there for many generations. Her ancestors are buried in the town cemetery. Every Christmas Eve day, she and her sister place flowers on their relatives graves. Usually they buy poinsettias. This year, she will leave our flowers. Today she brought her mothers big vehicle just to collect the 7 flower arrangements. She was grateful and I was thrilled. Ken would be pleased too that the flowers sent to honor Ken will now be used to honor Kashina's relatives. I have never heard of recycling funeral floral arrangements but it was a good idea. The cemetery will look lovely. I too was pleased.

December 19, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. My Update.

Until this morning, I thought I was doing remarkably well, but I noticed that on Monday morning I forgot to take my morning medications. Oops. Maybe I all my circuits are not working after all. Sunday night was the first time I had been alone in the house. David left for San Antonio in the morning. I was busy all day and slept well. I actually woke at a normal time of 8:00, so I was pleased, so pleased that I forgot my meds. I am trying to focus on being grateful. Ken was enjoying himself to the end. On the Sunday before he died we ate brunch with the girls and Christina. Ken ate 8 oysters plus his lunch. Ken loved being with the girls and he enjoyed his brunch. Ken did not spend a day in a nursing home nor did he use hospice. His sense of humor never left him and he was smiling to the end. He was pushing the boundary too. Monday morning for the last time he did his exercises, always wanting to get stronger. So I am grateful for many things. My plan is to carry on our program. I leave Friday for Dallas where we planned to stay at the airport hotel, then go on to Puerto Vallarta on Saturday, where I will stay until February 2. I am determined to stay busy during the days before David and family arrive on the 26th. I expect it to be difficult but I am determined. Wonderful Wendy and Ken are coming on the 12th and will stay until we leave together. I have asked a couple of people to join me at the condo from Dec.31 until Jan.12 but no one so far has been able to come. Again I will just stay busy. I am doing well or as well as could be expected. I am able to talk on the phone with friends about Ken without weeping. In fact I enjoy those conversations. I have my moments of mourning and weeping but I am walking and talking and getting things done. Ken would not expect anything less from me. I feel sure that in Heaven he is cheering me on.

December 18, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Wonderful Words.

This past week I have heard and read wonderful words about Ken. The cards, calls and e mails have been helpful. Today I received a card and a note from our friends Phyllis and Fred. The note was written by Freddie. I wish to share it with you. Fred said: "The sadness of Ken's departure is greatly overcome by the joy and glory of his life. Ken was a very lucky man. He was able to face and overcome the challenges as they arose. He lived a life of many interests and passions. He was blessed with a wonderful life-long partner who stood by him to the end. And the end, quiet and peaceful, put a fitting coda to his full, satisfying journey. As we face the world without Ken, there is a twinkle mixed with the tears." Wonderful words. Thank you Freddie so putting it all so well.

December 17, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. The Love Story.

The story can be told and re-told but the story is always fresh and true. On Christmas Eve 1955, Ken noticed me and I noticed him while the young people from church sang Christmas carols for the shut ins. On New Years Day along with several other friends from church several cars of the young people from church drove to Peteborough to skate on the canal and have lunch with Major and Mrs. Gibson. Ken and I did not drive there together but we came home in the same car. We have been an item ever since and we married two and a half years later. Ken wrote me a letter after the day skating. In the letter he told me to get ready to be his wife because some time down the road, he would ask me. I had just turned 18 and I had an active busy social life. I thought the letter was funny and I laughed. But Ken was deadly serious. He wanted to have a happy family life and he wanted me to be his wife. It was a love story. He was smitten by my energy and happy disposition and I was smitten by his bright eyes and obvious intellect. He also was the only person I went out with who would not always do what I told him to do, so I was intrigued. Before we married we often argued but during the 60 years of marriage we did not find fault with each other and we did not fight ever. We each had our own lives and our own careers. We were like railroad tracks with the railroad tied together with our common interests and our family. But Ken always looked after me. He made sure that everything in the house worked well. He took care of my technical tasks. Any work when I had trouble with technology I called for Regina. At home I called for Ken. Just since we came home from Nova Scotia Ken installed new night lights in our bedroom and bathroom. He ordered them on line and installed them without asking. When I asked how we had new lights, he told me that he thought that the old night lights were not bright enough. They are there now. They come on at dusk and turn off at sunrise and they lighten my path. Ken wanted me to be safe. It is as old a story as ever there has been, but the difference is that it involves me. For sixty years Ken has been looking after me and pushing me. He gave us hundreds of ideas, some of which I implemented. For the past few years he has told me many times that I was the most beautiful woman in the world. And he would say that he knew that was not true but he said that for him, I was always the most beautiful woman in the world. I would laugh and he would weep because he would tell me that he realized that in the past, he never said it out loud, just in his head. Canadians are stoics and keep emotions in check but Parkinson's patients are unable to mask the emotions so Ken would weep. But he told me just this week how beautiful I was in his eyes. Ours was a true love story. Our road was often rocky but we were always true to each other. I thank God every day for having Ken in my life. My present life will be easier without tending to Ken's ailments but my life will not be as interesting since Ken has gone to heaven. But here I go. Home alone for the first time in my life. Thank God I have friends and family.

December 16, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. A Christmas Service.

This evening at 4 and 6, The First Presbyterian church held A Christmas Service of Lessons and Carols. Our friend Eleanor invited me to go with her. She picked me up and brought me home. The church was packed and the Scottish minister wore his kilt. Half of the Mississippi orchestra played and the full choir sang. The service was wonderful and was just the right thing to lift my spirits. During the Processional, the first sound from the 80 piece orchestra was a single violin, pure and sweet playing the first line of Once in royal David's city. One by one other instruments joined in. By the time the whole choir of 100 were on their places holding a candle, the choir coined in, first just the sopranos. Bit by bit the volume swelled. They sang 6 verses. The whole thing was a delight and was a preview of what was to come. The choir sang 9 pieces, some accompanied by the or chests and some unaccompanied. The choir was excellent. They can sing a pure heavenly sound or can sing more robustly. The minister read all the readings. The whole program took 90 minutes. The evening was just like a bit of heaven, except the trombone player was not very good.. Ken would have loved it, had he been healthy enough to go. I am so grateful to Eleanor for inviting me and picking me up. She is a true friend indeed. I feel so fortunate. This Christmas Service was a treat.

December 15, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Lyft.

Alana set up my phone with the app for Lyft. Suzanne and David taught me how to use it. Today, I took my first ride using the Lyft services. Everything went well and I will use it often. David and I went to Sal and Phil's restaurant in Ridgeland. I called for the ride on my phone. The driver arrived in 10 minutes. It cost $10. to get there. We ate a delicious meal of oysters and shrimp, which we peeled ourselves. Wonderful meal. After lunch I called for the driver on my phone. He was there to pick us up in 4 minutes and he took us home for $9. Our trip was successful. Now I am able to navigate without incurring high taxi fees. And I feel like giving myself a gold star. Most other normal people have been using both Uber and Lyft for years but today was the first time for me. I have now officially joined the modern world. Ken would be pleased.

December 14, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Pleasant Surprise.

John and David agreed to get together this afternoon to smoke a cigar in tribute to Ken. The plan was for John to come to our house, where they would sit on our dock to talk and smoke cigars. 5:00 was the agreed on time. John arrived bringing a cooler full of oysters, along with all the trimmings. John knew that Ken loved oysters so this was his tribute to Ken. Suzanne joined the men on the dock. The evening was beautiful with no wind or rain. Eventually they were forced inside for the dinner of oysters. Suzanne organized our dinner of rice with chicken, cooked by Reisys, oysters on the half shell, salad and an anti pasta tray. Six of us sat around the table enjoying every bite. The surprise of the oysters delighted us all, even Samantha who does not eat oysters. Ice cream for dessert made us all happy. We sat at the table and talked and talked, including the derivation of the term "Your world is an oyster." On Saturday night at our party, John suggested that he would invite Ken and me over to eat oysters but Ken died before we could make that date. Tonight was his tribute to Ken. And it was a wonderful treat for us. Ken would have been pleased.

December 13, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. The New Normal.

Today, my Texas Family has been preparing me for the new normal of my life. David and Suzanne and Sarah removed Ken's clothing from his drawers and racks and took everything to Goodwill, including his shoes. They went through our coat closets to find what would fit the girls. They made one trip this afternoon and will make another run tomorrow. We all decided we would remember Ken in our mind, not by making a shrine to him in our home. They will take some coats and hats to take to the lake. Ken would be pleased. My dressing room looked half empty so Suzanne and Allison organized all my clothes, so the closet looks full and friendly, not like a closet where someone just died. All my good shirts are color coded. My pants are now in a new spot and also hung by color. I was surprised to know I had 4 pairs of black pants. Who knew? My shirts are hung together and spaced apart and all the jackets have found a new spot. My dressing room/closet now looks spiffy. I must search for clothes because everything has moved. Everything is neat as a pin and looks wonderful. Kashina will work for me two days a week. My phone has added an app by Alana so I can use Lyft. Samantha and Allison regaled us all by describing how I must function in the bathroom by using one sink to brush my teeth and other to wash my hands and face. So we have had great sport tonight visualizing how my new normal will work for me. I knew my new normal will not be easy. But we have had a new start today, thanks to my Texas Family. Hats off to them for keeping the whole day bright and breezy and fun.

December 12, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Amazing.

Ken would be pleased. On short notice, family and friends met at our house to pay tribute and thanks for the life of Ken. All 7 granddaughters read passages from the Bible. David told funny stories about Ken. Norm spoke about the expertise and intellect that was Ken. Christina and Suzanne spoke of his love for his girls snd of their love of Ken. Then we sang three joyful Christmas carols. The family began gathering all afternoon. David came yesterday afternoon. This afternoon, Dave and Irene along with Wendy, Norm and Alana flew down on a private jet from Ontario. Abbie arrived in the morning from University. And finally, Suzanne, Sarah, Allison and Samantha arrived from Texas. All afternoon the girls looked at snap shots from years gone by. Ken would have loved listening into their laughter and glee. Tonight, our friends joined in the celebration of Ken. Tasty food was set on the dining table with wine and water on the bar, all put together by Christina and ordered by Katie C. . For an hour we ate and talked. Then we had the brief tributes. Finally, Suzanne closed in prayer. Then we talked some more. I was amazed that everyone was able to join us on such short notice. Ken was much loved and tonight was a fitting tribute. I think that Ken would be pleased and amazed.

December 11, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Thank You Ken.

This morning at 6:00 Ken passed away in his sleep. He was 82 years old. The past two days were difficult for him. Neither Ken nor his doctor could figure out what was the matter but the quality of his life decreased dramatically. He had trouble breathing and last night he became too weak to walk. He slept restlessly and had trouble falling asleep. When I woke at 6:00, Keshina and I decided not to wake him for his Parkinson's medication. When I lay beside him, I could not hear his rasping breathing and I discovered he was not breathing. He had given up his fight. Ken fought to the end. He came to the party on Saturday night and to brunch with the family on Sunday morning. This morning he had an appointment with the physical therapist, which he intended to make. But death intervened. Now the force of his personality and his fight have gone and we are left with happy memories. When the family gathered at home with me this afternoon I asked what I should say as a heading for my wee blog. Kate said I should say "Thank You Ken". And I did. Tomorrow evening friends and family will gather at home with me. I hope for an event bringing joy. Ken did not ever want a fuss so we will sing and read from the Bible and we will say thank Ken for his life. For me more than anyone, I say "Thank You Ken".

December 10, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Snow.

The snow looks beautiful in the pictures but Ken and I are delighted to be living in Jackson where we get no snow. Every few years the snow comes but not very often, generally every ten years. Today and yesterday we watched the heavy snow falling in Roanoke and the rest of the mid Atlantic. 300,000 people are without power. Liverpool had only an inch of snow which is nothing for them. And Hamilton had just a dusting. Even though we had cold weather, we were happy to have no snow. Our temperatures in Jackson for December are about ten degrees cooler than average. Everyone is complaining. Of course, no one owns gloves or hats so they are always chilly outside. They do all wear boots. They never take them off. On Saturday night, I wore my candy cane rubber boots, which I took off at the yacht club and I wore the little brown shoes I carried in a bag, just like any good Canadian lady. Every every girl and lady wore boots which they wore all night. Most people have no warm coats either. So they wait until the weather gets warmer before they really get warm. We used to love snow. At the farm we always took a walk. That was the time when we knew how many turkeys we had. Most of the time the clever turkeys stay hidden but after a new snow fall, we could see their tracks, which were everywhere. Going for a walk in Parry Sound in the winter was wonderful because of the crunch with every step. The snow was dry. In Toronto the snow was damp and had no crunch. Our family went skiing. The other night while watching a ski race, Ken wept silently. because he knew he would never be able to ski again. He was an excellent skier. I talked about all the places in the world where we had gone skiing with the boys. Happy memories. But at our age we are delighted to be away from snow and ice. But we remember fondly all the times we enjoyed playing in the snow. We still love the pictures on TV, sitting in our cosy home watching the snow come down. And we smile.

December 9, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Saltine.

Before the family arrived, we ordered oysters on the half shell, so when the girls and Christina arrived, the oysters were on the table. There were 7 of us at the table and Mary Frances and Kashina do not eat oysters, so the five of us devoured those oysters within five minutes. Ken and Molly consumed the most but Christina and Kate and I were not far behind. As this was my last birthday celebration, I selected Saltine. The food is excellent but I had forgotten the noise in the restaurant. We ate so much food that no one, even Molly wanted dessert. We had a good time at Saltine, which was the last brunch of 2018. On Thursday, the girls and Christina are going to Disneyworld, a gift from Linda for Christina's birthday. They will have a wonderful time but we will miss them. They are our anchor here. They return on the 19th, while we leave on the 21st. Nothing will hold them back from doing all everything provides. What I do not know about will be the crowds. Will there be fewer people because of the proximity to Christmas? I do not know. But I know they will have fun. Kate has one exam tomorrow while Mary Frances is finished. Molly will be taken out of school for a few days. They Arte ready to relax. Now I must finish my Christmas cards and then prepare for Mexico. My anxiety mounts.

December 8, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Paper Clips.

After I dressed for the party in my fancy duds, I realized that the satin pants I was wearing was slipping down. In fact, when I was walking across the kitchen floor, they fell down. Christina was picking me up in just a few minutes So I had no time to change. I first looked for a safety pin with no success. I then turned to paper clips. Using four large paper clips, I attached my pants to my underwear. Much to my great surprise, the paper clips did the job. My satin pants looked fine and no one knew my pants were held up with paper clips. It had bedded several years since I wore those fancy pants and clearly the elastic lost the stretch. Now I must take those pants to be repaired. Our Christmas/Birthday party went well tonight. The food at the yacht club was excellent. My selections this year were more interesting than last. The children especially enjoy the party. They were all dressed up in their party clothes and looked beautiful. One year in the life of a child makes a big difference and many of the children we had not seem since last year. Cheryl and Sebastian have seven children, and Cheryl thanked me for inviting the children, because they seldom get invited as a total family. But we love to see the children. And we always serve the food buffet style so the children can help themselves. One of the appetizers was smoked salmon which turned out to be a winner. Every scrap of the big platter was gone. We served pasta for dinner. Everyone enjoyed the event. And so did I. And my fancy pants did not fall down, thanks to my trusty paper clips. Who would ever think that big paper clips would hold up satin pants. But they did the job. Whew.

December 7, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Birthdays.

I like birthdays. I especially like birthdays when the celebration goes on for several days. Yesterday my birthday was just fine. Linda took me out for my birthday lunch. David called me and we chatted for ages. I looked at e mail messages along with texts. And Rita phoned too. My whole day was taken up with celebrating my birthday. Today I stayed home and looked at more greetings on the internet, with people saying kind things to me and wishing me happy birthday. And flowers arrived for me from David, Suzanne and the girls. They are beautiful and sit on our bar which reflects from the mirror, thus I am able to see the flowers from all around the room. Today was also a day of celebration. For years we have hosted a party in December. No one knew it was my birthday but for many years we have a party on the weekend closest to my birthday. We celebrate with family and friends to start the Christmas season. And we also celebrate my birthday. Last year, because it was my 80th, we invited people to my birthday, so the cat is out of the bag. Tomorrow evening, we will have a party for friends and their children, held at the yacht club. And Sunday at noon, our family will celebrate together to say a last hurrah for my birthday and to congratulate the girls for the end of their successful school year. And that will be the end of my birthday celebrations. I like it when the birthday extends day after day, but enough is enough. Soon my birthday celebrations will be over. I have enjoyed every minute.

December 6, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Update.

Today I turned 81. December 6 is my birthday. I have had a wonderful day reading the birthday greetings from my friends. The modern form of communication is a marvel. And I even received messages from the office party, sending pictures. Maureen looks wonderful dressed as Mrs. Santa Clause. Linda took me out for lunch to celebrate. Pretty nice being 81. Wonderful Wendy has officially retired. Yesterday she attended a matinee performance of a play in Toronto. They took the train. She could not do that before she retired. Now every day she will decided what to do today, not what is required to do. Congratulations to Wendy. Ken and Anne have settled on their new home and are busily opening boxes. Their plan is to retire at the end of 2019 and sail off on their boat. It all sounds exciting and scary. But we wish them well. Grandniece Rachel is being married in India just after Christmas. Lots of the family will attend the three day event. Norm and Diane will be there, along with Ken and Anne, Eric and Elise. Alana is going too. Dave and Irene will not attend and neither will we. Too far. Katie has taken a job as archivist at Purdue University, beginning in January. We are so pleased for them. Brock starts work Jan.1. He has rented an apartment at Purdue, one he calls an adult apartment as opposed to a student size. Sarah will spend the full spring semester in Australia at the University in Sydney. She is stoked. Abigail is thriving at Furman as is Allison in the 11th grade. Her grades are excellent. Kate begins her last semester in nursing school at Mississippi College. She just passed with flying colors a review exam. We are proud of her hard work and diligence. Mary Frances has been thrilled with her first semester at Millsaps. The English class and the art have been the best. And Molly has started to get interested in her school work. History is her favorite. Ken sent all his camera equipment to Samantha, who is a fine photographer. And the lens work with her new cameras. For Christmas she asked for some specific piece of equipment which David said was remarkable expensive. And Ken began physical therapy at the university. So here we go. My update is complete. Our family is marching on and doing well. My Mother and Father would be so pleased to see these young people taking their place and always on the go. My hats are off to them all.

December 5, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Leaking Pipe.

Monday morning first thing, Kashina noticed water on the floor by the sink and dishwasher. I had not run the dishwasher so I knew a pipe must be leaking. I called the plumber, who could come on Tuesday after lunch. In the meantime, I kept think towels in front of the leak. The water seemed to be coming onto the floor from between the dishwasher and the sink. Kashina said that if you listed closely, you could hear a faint sound, probably a tiny hole spewing out a small amount of water. The plumber came and quickly found the leak. Sure enough, the tiny hole was spewing out water in a fine spray, which is what Kashina could hear. The hole was in a hose connecting the water supply to the dishwasher. A small amount of water accumulates quickly. During the day, I changed the towels every few hours. By morning, the towel was socked. The plumber installed a new pipe, this one a stainless steel pipe so now we no longer have a leak. I finally ran the dishwasher after the plumber left. The plumber was the same man who fixed all our problems when we moved in. He and I laughed about the fact that no shower or no faucets worked well, until he fixed them all. Fortunately we were here when the pipe decided to leak. If we had been out of town, we would have had a mess. Christina checks the house every week, but a small amount of water could do a lot of damage. One winter a tiny hole appeared in the entrance pipe of our Franklin Street house, the only pipe we had not replaced. This tiny hole sprayed a small amount of water for several days. It was winter and no one had gone downstairs. By the time I spotted the water, most of the lower level, which was fully furnished and carpeted, was covered with water. New carpets and new pads needed along with the big mess of drying the place out. As I said to the plumber, "Thank heavens for good plumbers". Now we have no leaking pipes at least for the moment.

December 4, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Kashina.

One aspect of our life in 2018 has been to get to know our helpers. Without the difficulties of our year, we would never have met these good folks. We have enjoyed getting to know them, including Kashina. In many ways, she is different. She is in her mid 30s and she is single with no children. She was brought up in a family with a mother and a father and siblings. The family has always lived in Crystal Springs, the place we bought our fountain. All the family lives close by. She has a degree in Education from Jackson State University. After her student teaching, she decided not to teach so she got certified as an assistant nurse. She has been helping people ever since. Kashina is a worker bee. The joy in her life is helping people. She does not enjoy parties. She does not drink alcohol or tea or coffee. She works long hours. Financially she lives within her means. Her mother is still alive and still works. She loves cars and still buys and sells and trades cars. Her father was a mechanic and taught her lots about cars. He thought she would be a mechanic but she rejected it after her father died. And she has some health issues and takes medication for thyroid and heart. And she is not particularly religious and does not attend church, which in Jackson is unusual. Perhaps the most interesting thing about her life is that she eats a terrible diet. She eats meat, mostly fried. And no vegetables or salad or fruit. She does eat mustard green and an occasional baked potato. And of course, she eats French fries. I have read about bad diets but I have never lived with it. But we do not criticize. She is a wonderful helper to both of us. She is competent and fun. And she is a good driver too. Without our issues, we would never have met Kashina. She has enriched our lives and for that we are grateful.

December 3, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Physical Therapy.

I asked our Doctor, a Geriatric Specialist, if Ken could be referred for physical therapy at the University Hospital facility. Ken took a clinic in June at the same place and I noted the elaborate equipment available, which all seemed under utilized. The referral was made and today we met with the therapist for evaluation. She needed to know if Ken would benefit from their therapy. The therapist we met with today was the same one who gave Ken his drill for the last bout of exercises, so Ken was pleased because he like her style and competence. Regina was pleased with Ken's arm and leg strength but his hip muscles are weak. She accepted him as a patient. We are pleased. Regina will work out an exercise program for Ken. And we will meet her twice a week for the next three weeks. Our goal is to increase strength and to help him get off the floor. She also will give Ken exercises to use when we are in Mexico. We checked out the local gyms and one has individual exercise people to work with him but I am fearful that trainers will work him too hard and he will get injured. They also know nothing about Parkinson's patients. Ken is pleased to be working on his strength and balance. His first 45 minute session is Wednesday. Ken feels better already. Regina also reported more strength for Ken than she expected, which pleased him too. The stairs and the walking in Nova Scotia has been beneficial. Now we will roll back the years a bit to add strength. When we return to Mississippi at the beginning of February we will return for more physical therapy with Regina. This physical therapy is just what the doctor ordered.

December 2, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Gout.

Attitude is everything. This week, my friend Suzanne, urged me to be prepared for something else to come along for Ken. Her husband who suffers from chronic mobility issues due to polio is the same as Ken. Something is always happening to him. Sure enough, Ken began to have severe pain in his right toe. He was so uncomfortable at brunch today with the family that he asked Kashina to take him home. When Christina brought me home, Ken was extremely uncomfortable so I gave him pain medication. And he took a nap. When he woke up, he worked through all the options causing the pain. He finally asked me to call our doctor on her cell phone. She returned my call at 5:00. Between the good doctor and Ken, they decided he was having an acute attack of gout of all things. He is now taking Tylenol along with ibuprofen. Tomorrow she will call in a prescription for gout medicine. Ken is hoping that is the problem with his big toe. But it could be nerve issues, or his neuropathy, or even Parkinson's. We will find out. But the attitude is the most important. If you expect other things will happen to Ken, you are not irritated or surprised. It just goes along with living with Ken. After all he has lung disease, Parkinson's Disease and heart issues, so any one might cause troubles somewhere in his body. His lifetime of disease has caught up with him. But he is 82 and is walking and talking. So here we go. But he never expected to have gout.

December 1, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Shopping Expedition.

We enjoyed ourselves, Molly, Mary Frances, Christina and I. At the end of our excursion, Molly said, "This shopping tires me out". But she was a happy 11 year old. Molly selected the stores and wanted them in the right order. First she and Christina selected clothes and hung them in the dressing room while Mary Frances and I sat outside the dressing room in comfortable chairs. The first thing is whether Molly liked the object. If she did, she came out to model the garment and we three passed judgement. Then we had three piles. Mary Frances held the definite yeses, Christina kept the rejects and I held the maybes. We were efficient. And Molly did well with her selections., When driving to the stores, I asked her what she hoped to be able to buy and she gave me a list. Sweaters, dresses and shirts. I did suggest to her that sometimes we are not able to get what we want when shopping. She was not buying it, and she was right. She did well in the first store buying two dresses and two sweaters. And a hairband. The second store she was able to buy two tops. By the third store Molly was unable to like anything other than a warm fuzzy vest. It was time to go for lunch. Molly had shopped till she had dropped. And she was a happy 11 year old. For lunch, Molly selected the Italian restaurant in the Renaissance, which is my favorite eatery. Our food was delicious and the company delightful, We all four enjoyed our shopping spree. But Molly was thrilled with the whole event. And she was grateful too.

November 30, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. My List.

Christmas is coming and my list is long. We go to Mexico and my list is long. If I am not careful I become anxious. Last evening Ken just told me he was feeling good and he asked about me. So I told him about my long list and my anxiety, which made him not feel so good. I should keep my issues to myself. Today I made progress with my list. Today, Keshina dropped me off at the Dollar Store so I could shop to fill the bags for the grandchildren. Next, back home, I filled small bags for the Texas family. And we took the five bags to the PacMail store. I love that place. They package up the items to ship, all in a safe and secure way. Then they send the box via a courier. On Wednesday we took camera equipment to them to be shipped to Samantha. Ken no longer is able to use his fancy cameras and lens so we sent everything to Samantha, who it turns out is a wonderful photographer. The PacMail protected the objects where I would have trouble. No fuss or muss. They measure and weigh the object. I pay them, and I leave. The whole thing takes 5 minutes of my time. Wonderful service. Actually, it might be called MailPac. Every time I use their services I feel I should hug their neck. Now I must organize the Mississippi family bags. But I discovered today that I have nothing to give to Christina or Molly. Oops. My list just got longer. Today I made an appointment for Ken to have his hair cut and beard trimmed. And I again texted Adrianna in Mexico who is our contact to get helpers for us. And I need to ask her to find us a bed rail. My list includes refilling our medications for our 6 weeks in Mexico. And I must organize our clothes. We have clothes in our locker at the condo but I have no idea what we left for Ken. We do not wish to check baggage so we must pack light, using only our small carry on bags, which in Ken's bag is half full of medicines. I must confirm the number for our party on December 8 and take a cheque to the yacht club. So I am making progress. And the next time I will keep my list to myself. I overwhelmed Ken which serves no purpose. I am feeling better about my list.

November 29, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. BSF.

I have rejoined BSF. I have not attended for a year or so but I decided that I needed more activities in my life. Linda Creath has been keen to have me come back and has agreed to bring me home. Actually, I only attended for a few Thursdays. First I had no one to drive me and next my cancer returned so my immune system was shot. Now my white cells are 7 so I am safe to get out into the world. Kashina drove me this morning and Linda brought me home. So the system will work. BSF stands for Bible Study Fellowship. It is a national organization. Changes were made with their routine so now we go straight to our own group upon arrival. Then we meet in the auditorium to sing a hymn and listen to a talk. The course of study is set by the main office and lessons are given out each week. It is all well organized. My group is interesting too. The leader is Dana, and we are 10 ladies in the group. Even though we are studying the Bible, we learn a lot about the ladies during our time together. The age group is 50 to 80. One member of our group id a bible scholar, which pleases me because a bible scholar I am not. But I will learn, which is the whole point. One lady will be going to Las Vegas this weekend. Her niece is competing to become Miss Rodeo Queen of America. She already is Miss. Rodeo Queen for Mississippi. Who knew? You learn attending bible study!!

November 28, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. November 11, 1946.

On November 11, 1946, my father wrote in my autograph book. Someone must have given me one and I had everyone I knew write a note. I continued the practice for several years. Then I quit. Autograph books went out of fashion. At some point, I threw it out but I removed the sheet my father wrote along with one written by a Colonel Grinstead when he visited us in Vancouver. My fathers hand writing was terrible, which is part of the charm. Also he forgot one line of the poem so was forced to tuck the missing line squeezed between two others. I have no idea where the poem comes from but I think it is charming. A few months ago I came upon the paper in my old writing case and decided to bring it out to the light of day. Today we picked up the poem framed. Now it will be hung just beside the door to our powder room so everyone who visits us would get to see it. Except my fathers writing is a scrawl and not easy to read. Here is what he wrote to me: Darling Ruth:- 11/7/46 Do good sweet maid and let who will be clever. Do noble deeds don't dream them all day long. And so - make life & the vast forever one glad sweet song. Daddy. I wonder what my father would have thought about my life? Unfortunately he died before any success we had. Now I am thrilled to have his message to me on my wall. And I hope the grandchildren will see it too. Nifty.

November 27, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Changes.

We were too slow to change our routines. The first time Ken rolled out of the bed we should have installed a railing for the bed. What were we thinking? Three times it took plus one serious fall from the chair before we changed our patterns. Now the rail has worked and Ken has not fallen out of the bed since. The question we ask is why did he all of a sudden start rolling out of bed and end on the floor? One reason may be that his Parkinson's disease has gotten worse. Or perhaps the new diuretic he has been taking recently caused him to loose his sense of space. His feet and legs were swollen so our doctor prescribed an additional medication, which has worked. But he rolled out of bed. Today we went to an evaluation of swallowing at the University. The facilities and staff at the University Hospital are remarkable and extensive. This morning we met with a speech therapist who is also an expert in swallowing. She had Ken swallow water. And she watched and held his throat. And she watched him swallow chocolate pudding. Her suggestion to Ken was to slow everything down. Every time he takes a sip on the straw, he is supposed to wait. Then take another sip. His pattern has always to take three or four sips on the straw. Fortunately, he aspirated some water in the middle of the test, which was good. She wants him to have an X-ray of his swallowing so we have an appointment on Dec. 17. One appointment always means another appointment will need to be done. Ken commented to the young lady that he would take all day just eating and drinking. Most of Ken's patterns are fine. He already eats slowly and often eats at the table alone while I sit in the living room adjacent to the breakfast room. So once again, Ken must make changes. Our helpers are changing too. Mary Brown will stay with us from 9 to 9 on four nights and Kashina will stay the other three nights. Their task is to be sure that Ken does not fall. Ken has a good sleep last night and so did I. Our patterns have changed once again. We should have made changes earlier I guess. But here we go.

November 26, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Night Helper.

Ken has fallen four times in the last ten days. Falling is the most common problem with Parkinson's patients but Ken has only fallen twice since he was first diagnosed in the Fall of 2014. Something odd has happened. Now he sleeps with a bed rail. On the Saturday afternoon after his fall, I asked Ken is he thought we needed a night helper, but he said no. By Sunday afternoon he changed his mind. He is fearful of falling and so am I so I called Cindie who owns the company to see if the could find night helpers for us. And she did. Gladys came to work last night and I asked her to sit in the TV room while we slept so she could assist Ken getting up and down. But Ken had a terrible night. He barely slept. He hated having someone watching him as he was going asleep so he has asked me not to have the night sitter watch him from the TV room. Gladys, who was here last night, will not be coming back. In her place tonight is Mary Brown, who I like a lot. And Kashina will work three nights too. We hope we will keep Ken safe. Ken and Kashina thing that Ken will recover quickly from his fall and that soon we will not need a night helper. We will see. In the meantime, I hope to be able to sleep myself. Last night I woke up whenever Ken got up which was about every hour. At the moment, the night sitter will work from 9 to 9. Kashina works from 9 to 4. We should be OK. Ken looks a wreck. His eye is black and swollen and he has an abrasion on his forehead. He hurts all over. We just might take our Christmas card picture right now. The worst part of the falls have been his confidence. And he is weak. But next week we go for an evaluation with a physical therapist. We hope they will take him on as a client. Tomorrow he goes to a therapy to help him with swallowing. He is trying to get better. Ken hopes our night helper will be temporary. But we will see. In the meantime, I hope tonight we both get a decent night sleep, with the help of Mary.

November 25, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. 11 Years Old.

Fine And Dandy was the restaurant selected by Molly to celebrate her 11th birthday. Ken was not able to attend the celebration but we brought food home for both Ken and Kashina so they were not totally left out. The restaurant serves hamburgers but it is a long way from being a burger joint. It is fancy. And Molly likes it, especially the milkshakes which are spectacular. So we celebrated in style. When Kate was 11, Ken and I gave her a shopping spree. Molly remembers hearing about that first shopping trip for Kate at age 11, so when she opened her gift bag from us and discovered the card included a shopping trip she was thrilled. Last Christmas, she accompanied us when we shopped with Kate and Mary Frances and she liked the whole thing so now next Saturday Christina, Molly and I will go shopping at the Renaissance. She already knows what stores we should go to. And she is going through her wardrobe to see what she will want to try on. For the past two years we have done will with our purchases for Kate and Mary Frances with their Christmas shopping because of the sales. There will be no big sales just before Christmas. But we will enjoy ourselves. Kashina will come on Saturday to stay with Ken while we go out and have fun. Molly like all other tall people is tall for 11 years old. She is my height so fitting her will not be easy. She must shop in teenager stores because the children clothes do not fit and often the teen clothes are not appropriate. She has good taste as does Christina so I feel sure she will end up being pleased with her selections. We will then celebrate by going out for lunch. Saturday December the 1st will be the day. She can't wait. Being 11 is exciting.

November 24, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Quite a Night.

At the Hospital of University of Mississippi Emergency room, a person must go through security. The gentlemen inspect your purse. All your pockets must be put into a bin to be checked for metal and you walk through a screening, just as you do at the airport. Interesting. Ken was taken on the stretcher directly into the emergency, but before I could see him, I had to go through security. Our night began well. Both of us were sound asleep but Ken rolled out of bed and ended up on the floor. We took 90 minutes to get him up. He decided to rest in his recliner. We both went back to sleep around 3:00. I awoke to hear a crash. Ken had forgotten where he was and fell right out of his chair. This was a more serious fall as he was bleeding all over the floor. I called 911. The firemen came first and tended to his scrapes and cuts. But he had hit his head so we all agreed that Ken needed to be checked at the hospital. The ambulance picked us up and carefully took us to the University Hospital, which turned out to be a good choice. As several of our doctors are at the University, all Kens records are in the computer so I did not need to give any information about anything. They needed no cards now lists of medications. The young doctors were efficient and pleasant. Ken had blood drawn, another chest X-ray, and a ct scan. And they dressed his scrapes. The tests were all negative. We were home by 1:30. Clever Christina found, delivered and installed a side rail for the bed. Now we must figure out how Ken will get in and out of the bed. This was a difficult night. But it could have been worse.

November 23, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Christmas Decorations.

In my opinion, the day after Thanksgiving is the best time to decorate the house for Christmas. Once upon a time, the task took a long time but today, I was done in one hour. When we bought our condo in Mississippi, I brought just enough decorations to make the place look like Christmas, but as our place was small, our decorations were few in number. All the rest of the Christmas goodies were divided between the Texas and Mississippi families. Even though we have space here in our home, I am still using the two small boxes of Christmas things. So it takes me all of an hour to place the precious objects in place. On the chest by the front door I put two reindeers with red noses. They are made of red velvet with white antlers. I bought them in Galveston, right after Christmas of 1964, when a nice store in downtown Galveston put their deco0rations on sale. We took no decorations from Toronto to Galveston, so that year, our first in Texas, we had no decorations at all. The red reindeer are the bit the worse for wear but I love them. On the mantle sets my Mother's little houses. I have no idea where she got them but I have them now. Mother set them on white cotton but I got rid of that and now they look charming. And they remind me of my wonderful Mother. I fill a big bowl which sets on the coffee table with pine cones that I have gathered over the years. I have cones from Yosemite and Nova Scotia. Ken has always laughed about me gather pine cones all over North America, but I enjoy them now. Natalie and Harvey, many years ago, gave me a Tiffany Christmas box, which I keep on the shelves by the front door. My decorations are sparse but they make our home look like Christmas. Every object has history which pleases me when each piece is put in place. Now we are ready for the Christmas season. My decorating is complete.

November 22, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Thanksgiving.

There is no better holiday than Thanksgiving. The menu is set so no decisions must be made. Families gather together in someones home to visit, eat and watch football. Nothing separates one group from another. Everyone joins together to gives thanks, both the Catholics and the Protestants, Jews and Muslim. Everyone does the same thing and eats the same food. No pressure. No anxiety. Just gather and enjoy. My day started with the Macy's parade followed by the dog show. Such fun. Our celebration was splendid. The girls were lively and pleased to be celebrating Thanksgiving together. The food was excellent. The girls all helped with preparations and Christina carved the turkey. And when everyone left to go home, the kitchen was clean and dishwasher loaded. All I needed to do was to start the dishwasher, then put away the dishes. Christina and the girls are thoughtful indeed. Linda especially enjoyed the white pelicans. They came right in front of our dock, so everyone enjoyed watching them so close. Mary Frances and Molly went outdoors to get closer but of course, as soon as the girls went toward the dock the birds paddled away. We certainly have much to give thanks, most importantly being our family. I chatted at length with son David this afternoon. They celebrated together at home with both University students home for Thanksgiving. Tomorrow they will go to the lake for the weekend. They might even water ski. One of the pleasures of Thanksgiving is the left over turkey. For supper tonight Ken and I ate a turkey sandwich. Delicious. I do love Thanksgiving.

November 21, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Cooking A Turkey.

Cooking a turkey is easy. I have done it many times. But this year, I am preparing the turkey the easiest possible way. And the interesting thing is that the dinner tastes the same as if I had started from scratch. This morning, Keshena drove me to Primos to pick up our feast. The experience was wonderful. My refrigerator is full of containers and all I need to do is heat them up. Such a pleasure. I did the same thing several years ago and much to Ken's surprise, the turkey was not dry. Christina and I ate breakfast at Primos a few weeks ago and I ordered our feast. Today we just needed to pick up the food and store it in the fridge. Tomorrow all I must do is turn on the oven. Primos is an institution in Jackson. I have always been impressed with their food and their efficiency. Today they were on top of their game. They were staffed up. When we first walked in they had people checking up into the computer. Immediately you went to the cashier to pay your bill. Next you went to the end of the counter where a young man brought all the food from the kitchen and carried the food to the car. The place was full of people but I was only in the restaurant for five minutes. It was wonderful to behold. Both staff and customers were enthusiastic and joyful. After all, the customers did not need to cook. Many folks were doing exactly what I was doing which was to buy the whole meal, but many others were picking up dessert or rolls. Primos covered themselves with glory today. They were efficient and pleasant and enthusiastic. Hats off to them. I always enjoy a business that anticipates the needs of the customers and sets their systems up so the routines will be smooth. No waiting. No hassle. Just superb service. Now I must b my part and not overheat the food. It could happen.

November 20, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Shopping.

I enjoy shopping for Christmas gifts. But I always do my buying a long time before the Christmas season. All through the year I would buy gifts and store them in the attic. When the time comes for me to wrap, all I had to do was tp pull the bags and boxes and sort them into piles. I hated the pressure of specifically going to buy a gift. So I planned ahead, thus making my Christmas season delightful. Now I order from catalogues and have things delivered. Soon I must mail items that can not be sent to Canada. And I have special gifts for the grandchildren that must be mailed too. So the season has begun to try to keep ahead of the required task. Kashina told me all about Walmart sales. It sounds like a horror story to me but she and her sisters love it. Black Friday is the big day. At 6:00 pm on Thanksgiving Day, Walmart opens their Black Friday sales. She tells me that people begin lining up mid afternoon, waiting for the doors to open. Kashina said they go every year. "It is so much fun," she said. People are friendly and everyone has a good time. Evidently it is like a big party. And the sales are worth the wait too. She reported a 54 inch television which normally cost $500. will be on sale on Black Friday for $250. No wonder people wait in line. I am afraid I would rather do without. A friend of mine in Bethesda has always done all his Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. To me, it sounded just awful but he has always shopped that way. He said it is a perfect time to shop because by the afternoon, no one is in the stores so the service is great. My comment to him about the availability of sizes was countered by telling me that it does not matter about size. "The object can always be returned," says he. That shopping style would not work for me. I like to plan ahead. In just a few days I will be done. Then I will enjoy the season.

November 19, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. During The Night.

Living at our house these days during the night is very like attending a three ring circus. Something is always happening. When I was younger, I assumed that we would have long periods of slumber, when we could sleep in as long as we wanted. In real life at age over 80, both Ken and I have not experienced anything close to that scenario. Having a sense of humor is definitely an asset. Ken does not sleep well so he often wanders around the house in the middle of the night. He sits on the side of the bed eating little chocolates and drinking protein drinks. He often sticks a leg out when sleeping perhaps to keep cool. But the other night he had both legs sticking out. When he rolled over to turn on his light preparing to go to the bathroom, he rolled right off the bed. Of course, I woke up to find him kneeling beside the bed, looking like he was saying his prayers. Actually, he was probably asking God to please help him back in bed. For Ken to get up from a chair is not easy but Ken getting up from the floor was almost impossible. But with my help pushing and pulling, we got him off the floor. After his visit to the bathroom, he went back to sleep immediately. I of course was wide awake. Just the night before while getting out of bed in the middle of the night, Ken slipped and fell back onto the bed. Except he went crooked and ended up half on the bed and half wedged between the bedside table and the bed. I heard the crash so came immediately to Ken's side, omitting to turn on my lamp. Ken's side was pitch dark and Ken was covering his light switch. All the while I could hear gurgling out of a bottle dripping on the floor. Ken was stuck but we managed to get him up so he could get to the bathroom. The protein drink had tipped over on his side table and dripped all over the floor so I had a mess to clean up. But Ken did not harm himself but he does have a bad bruise on his upper arm where he hit the table. At night, Ken and I seem to coordinate our trips to the bathroom. We laugh at each other when passing in the room. Our night times are lively. Never a dull moment. Some nights it seems as if we live in the middle of a circus. It is never dull and quiet, unfortunately. Maybe tonight will be the night when only slumber reigns supreme. That would be a treat.

November 18, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Gift of Time.

No gift is better for old people than the gift of time. Every Sunday, our Mississippi family comes out for lunch with Ken and me. The time they spend with us is a great gift for us. We all enjoy the food but the most important thing is that we get to catch up on all their activities of the past week. I feel sure that they have many other things they could be doing on Sunday at noon, but they indulge us by coming for lunch. Every week I am impressed with their consideration of us. We of course indulge them by having them select the restaurant. And if they select a seafood restaurant we always order oysters on the half shell as an appetizer. Last Sunday we ate at Dragos, a New Orleans style seafood restaurant. First off, we ordered two dozen oysters. Ken ate ten all by himself. Today, both Kate and Molly had colds so we missed them but we enjoyed our time with Mary Frances and Christina. Mary Frances is enjoying her first semester of College so we get to shard in her endeavors. Mary Frances had selected P.I. Change, a good Cinese restaurant in the Renaissance. The fountains surrounding the place are lovely. We had not been there for several years so we were pleased to enjoy the food. Our helper, Keshina, dines with us but has limited choices in food. But she is good natured about the odd food we like. And we just laugh. Ken and I are grateful for our Mississippi family by coming for lunch with us every Sunday. They come from church as everyone is dressed up, so Ken and I do the same. This Sunday lunch is the top of our social life each week. And now with Thanksgiving coming this week we will be together again at our own house. I wonder how much they appreciate the time they spend with us? I must tell them...again and again.

November 17, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Meals.

Our cook, Dreisys, had a baby the end of July. She is not working but is looking after Jack. Instead of cooking at our place, she cooks for us at her home. And she brings the food to us. Sometimes she brings the baby. She cooks on Thursdays. This week she arrived at 7:45 which meant she was up very early as the food was warm when she arrived. Her husband was leaving late for work so she left the baby home. Today for our main meal at noon we ate a delicious beef stew and we have enough left over for two more meals. Our system works well. We enjoy her cooking and she enjoys the extra income. She always makes a large pot of soup. This week is vegetable soup. Last week was lentil. Always delicious and always enough for several meals. I organize the food. Some times I also prepare a meal. This evening for supper we ate in the TV room while we watched the Predators hockey game. In the middle of eating, Ken asked me innocently if I was having difficulty with color blindness in addition to my other problems. I said no. I am fine. Then Ken asked me if the bread in his sandwich started out black. Then I knew what he meant. And I laughed and told him the bread was brown. I fixed Ken a toasted cheese sandwich, which I cooked on a griddle. But I forgot about it and by the time I turned it over, one side was black. The other side was fine so I put the sandwich on the plate with the light brown side up. But he noticed. He said it did not taste burned but he did note that the bread was definitely black, which it was. He knows not to complain but he did wonder. Next time I will pay more attention.

November 16, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Simple Pleasures.

Our Christmas lights are on and glowing. They come on at five and turn off at midnight. Every time I look at them I am pleased. Ken always put up the Christmas lights. He loved lots of lights.. But since he is unable to install them, we went without lights. Every time Ken noticed no lights outside, he felt bad. Last year in a conversation with out outdoor lighting man, I asked him about Christmas lights. He just laughed. He has a whole separate company just putting up holiday lights. He uses his own lights and uses white lights. His installations are gracious. He takes them down right after the new year. And he stores them. Our lights were installed last week. And we love seeing them. So we keep them plugged in. Christina will plug hers in the day after Thanksgiving. But we are enjoying them now. Yesterday a flock of white pelicans arrived in your reservoir. They are giving us great pleasure. For two weeks this Spring they stayed here. Then they disappeared for parts north., Now they are back. This afternoon they were right in front of your dock. We have never seen them so close. We have thirty birds in the flock. In the Spring, they stayed in the center of the lake. Even from that distance they looked big, but right in front of the house they looked enormous. These are huge birds. They were busily floating around eating their meal. It is exciting seeing them so close to shore. Now we wonder how long they will stay. We will watch carefully. They are bringing us great pleasure. This week, Ken and Kashina filled the bird feeders, so we can watch the little birds from the windows. Now they must be refilled. So many birds, all so little. We love watching them from our TV room windows. Simple, but pleasurable.

November 15, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Voices.

When you look at an 81 year old, their look would be very different than a picture of the same person at 18. But if you hear the same person on the phone, their voice would be exactly the same. This past few days I have spoken to three old friends. I instantly recognized their voices even though I had not spoken to them for ages. They also recognized my voice too. It is interesting that everything else changes as we get old, except for our voice. Carol E. called me from work. I had worked with her for 24 years and I miss her spirit but when she called me in the middle of the day I was thrilled. She took the time to call just to say hello. Her voice sounded just the same as ever, at least when I got over the surprise. At first I could not figure out why Carol would call. After all, my sister Carol, who called me regularly, has died. Eventually I figured it out and I was delighted to hear the voice of Carol E. Today I chatted with Denise who I also had worked with for 24 years. I call her and we had a good old chat. She instantly recognized my voice as I did of hers. Nothing has changed in her voice. She sounds just as enthusiastic as ever. I enjoyed that conversation too especially as her Mother also has Parkinson's disease so we shared experiences. And lastly, I had a good old gab fest this evening with my friend Sara Lou. Her voice has not changed a bit in all the years that I have know her, which is a long time. We caught up on our grandchildren and our activities. The best part is that we just pick up where we left off, even though it might have been six months ago. Voices stay the same. These days we text or e mail more than we speak on the phone. But I have enjoyed hearing the voices of my friends. Such a pleasure to hear the same voices.

November 14, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Confidence.

The commentator during a hockey game tonight mentioned that the goalie was an excellent goalie...when he feels confident. I was trying to figure out the difference in the goalie between excellent play and mediocre play and does the goalie know the difference. I have never understood what confidence actually is. Is it mental, between your ears or is it physiology, in the muscles. It is one of those terms that everyone knows is important in accomplishing a task, but where is the confidence come from. And why sometimes confidence just disappears. You see it all the time in sports. "He has lost his confidence," said the commentator about a good golfer. We are speaking about elite players who practice every day and have won multiple tournaments. And then the confidence disappears. The concept is simple but complicated. It is one of those things that you recognize in a person when they feel confident and you know exactly when the confidence has gone. Tonight, I watched a few minutes of ice skating competition. One skater did poorly. A commentator mentioned it before the competition and sure enough. The skater fell. Her confidence had disappeared. Confidence is important in life. But the step to becoming arrogant is small. In the field of athletics, confidence is important. It is fun to watch a whole team become confident, then continue to play better. It is a puzzle, certainly not something that can be turned on and off like a spigot. I have heard the concept all my life but I have no idea what it comes from. But I know when I see it.

November 13, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Pitter Patter.

Whenever I sit in my chair in the corner of the living room and everything in the house is quiet, I could hear the pitter patter of little feet. I could recognize those little feet in the attic because years ago in Nova Scotia I heard the same sounds. I called the exterminator. He left bait in the attic and assured me the problem was solved. But he was wrong. So he came back again. He was not able to find where the little critters were getting into the attic so I knew I would hear them again. And I did. I did what I always do when we have a problem at our home which is to call Chantes. The chimney for the fireplace was also dripping water. The problem was not severe as we only get a bit of dropping, and it only occurs in severe rain and wind. But I do not like having water dripping into the fireplace. Chantes came yesterday to evaluate the situation. A vent in the attic was broken and the screen had come off. He assured me he would fix it. As it was raining yesterday, he was unable to get onto the roof to check the chimney. He told me he would be here Tuesday and he did. He spent an hour or so and repaired the vent and put new better wire over the opening. He seems confident that I should not hear any little foot steps from the attic. He did remind me that we have two vents, which he did not check because it is in a difficult part of another attic at the far side of the house. So far, my room has been quiet and still. No one else is here and there is no noisy wind to cover up the little steps. I am hoping our problem with the pitter patter of little feet is over. What would I do without Chantes?

November 12, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. A Day.

First thing I did today was to eat humble pie. Ken sent me an article giving the reasons why educators are using coloring as a method for developing cognitive thinking. Evidently a part of the brain develops better when coloring. And children and adults relax while coloring, which is why adult coloring books are best sellers. So today I sent the article to Christina. The next time I see Molly I must apologize for demeaning coloring. I am merely being old fashioned. Next up on my activities was to accompany Ken to have more skin removed from yet another cancer. To reward ourselves, we ate lunch at Anjou, a wonderful French restaurant. Fortunately I remembered a gift certificate, which expires next month. Then I booked our flights to Mexico. We will stay over in Dallas both ways so we do not wish to take two flights a day. So we are set to leave December 21 and arrive in Puerto Vallarta the next day. We leave February 2, arriving in Jackson on the 3rd. David and Suzanne and the girls arrive on the 26th. Any one who wishes some time in the 80 degrees of Mexico would be welcome from December 31 to January 12. We would welcome your visit to stay in our guest room. Next task for me tomorrow will be to find a helper in Nuevo Vallarta. And perhaps a cook for several days a week. But not today. My day is done.

November 11, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Coloring.

On Friday at Grandparents' Day, I opened my mouth and inserted my foot. I should have known better but I was so surprised at what I was seeing that I spoke out loud. Fortunately the teacher was not near me. Molly is in 5th grade. Her teacher is Mrs. Brown. They are just completing a section on the First World War. Clearly the teacher has done a good job. Molly knows a lot about the war, even to the major players on both sides of the battle. The students made a model of a deep ditches the soldiers stayed in order to not be shot. The walls in the classroom are covered with other projects made by students. Molly took me to her desk, which was small. On the desk was a three ring binder of the First World War in which Molly showed me the pages she had written about. And she showed me pictures of people, who she named. She described the different soldiers and the officers and the generals. I was impressed. I asked how she got the pictures. She told me she colored them all. Page after page, I looked at these drawings and was appalled that in the 5th grade Molly was coloring. That was what I said. Just then, Linda came over and asked what I had said. She disagreed with me. She thought the pages in Molly's books were beautiful and reinforced everything Molly had been taught in class. My position is that coloring is mindless. A piece of paper given to a child to color means that the teacher has nothing else for them to do. When young, children are helped by controlling their fingers but that is all it does. At lunch today, Christina also defended the practice. Mary Frances said that when she paints, first she draws. Then she colors in the shape. I must ask more people . Perhaps I am out of date. Mrs. Brown clearly brought the war home to the students and they learned a lot so I may be wrong about coloring. I even read last year that adults can now purchase coloring books. I was horrified. Perhaps if I had been better at coloring within the lines I would have had better handwriting. I never mastered the art which is perhaps I think coloring is ridiculous. Next time I will keep my mouth closed and only tell Molly how wonderful those pages were. Or maybe not.

November 10, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Retiring.

Once upon a time, we just called her Wendy. Now we all call her Wonderful Wendy. Just like speaking of Mary Frances was one name, Wendy's proper name is Wonderful Wendy. Years ago in 1972, Wendy spent a week with us the week we moved into our first home. The boys were 3 and 4 so we had limited time to unpack and organize but we got it done. At the end of the week, Dave and Irene drove from Ontario to have a visit and bring us our china and the one painting we owned. Wendy has been helping us ever since. But she had not yet received her new name. She flew to the farm for a week when we were organizing to sort stuff and have our belonging put into storage. At that time she was even more helpful because Rita was forced to go to the hospital in Cumberland and Wendy spoke to the insurance company. Rita was in great pain, Ian was driving without his hearing aids, so Wendy stepped up to the plate. But she got her new name when she came to unpack our boxes in our new house. From the time she walked in on Thursday evening until she left ten days later Wendy worked. When she left, all boxes had been opened and belongings organized. I have called her Wonderful Wendy ever since. Now she has sprung out in a fresh direction. She is retiring at the end of this month. The company she works for is having yet another merger. She was given the opportunity to apply for a new position or to take a retirement package. It took her a nanosecond to decide. She will retire. And she is excited. I am excited for her but I was surprised. She just made the decision on Wednesday. In true Wendy fashion, my e mail said "I am retiring the end of this month". No warning. Just done. Ken and Anne are planning to retire at the end of 2019. We have talked at length of their plans. We think it is fitting for Wendy to retire before Kenny. After all, she is older. But what about older brother Norman? Congratulations to Wendy. As an added bonus to us, Wendy and friend Ken will visit us in Mexico for three weeks. This will be their first trip during retirement. I bet it will not be their last. Hats off to Wendy.

November 9, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Grandparents' Day.

Molly loves it when both her grandmothers come to Grandparents' Day. It is a special day for her. And I like it too. Her school holds it every year. I have attended three. It is a well attended event with almost 1000 grandparents in attendance. The program is sweet and well organized. Each grade sings a song or two, some religious and some secular. The program is well organized and moves along well. When you first arrived, we are assigned a table of eight, all with other grandparents in the same class as Molly. The eighth graders serve us coffee while we wait. After the program, which lasts 45 minutes, the child comes to the table to escort us to meet her teacher and see the classrooms. Next Linda, Molly and I go out for lunch. The whole morning is a delight. Of course, it helps that the teachers say wonderful things about Molly. We can be proud of our Molly. But I can not stop myself making suggestions if only in my mind. Christ Covenant is a lovely school with a strong mission to partner with parents and grandparents to teach and train the child academically and spiritually. They do a great job but today, all the emphases was on the spiritual, not the academic. I would have liked to hear something about their academic standards. The program is pleasant but the format is the same every year. Absolutely nothing is changed except the songs sung by the children. The format has not varied at all from beginning to end. I understand the success of the day. People love to see their grandchild on stage and clearly the grandparents love it and come every year. I would like to see something new, just to keep me interested. Christ Covenant is a small school, K to 8. This grandparents' day is a major fund raiser for the school and is clearly successful. I saw many envelopes being filled with cheques that were left on the tables. I suppose that when an event is successful there is no reason to alter the program. The school has about 350 students. I need to stop trying to fix things that are not broken. Next year, I will just attend and enjoy. I promise. Molly loved it. That should be enough. Grandparents' Day was delightful. But somehow or another, I just can not stop trying to make it better. And I guess never will.

November 8, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. The Ultra Sound.

Before we left for Canada, the Urologist suggested to Ken that he have an ultra sound of his groin so the appointment was made. But the machine broke. The first appointment was in the university hospital but the second one was to be in the Pavilion, which is much easier for us. But we were not told the time or date. I suspect a letter arrived giving us the date but we missed it. On Tuesday afternoon I received a call alerting me of Ken's appointment on Thursday. I had forgotten all about it but Ken asked me this week is he still needed an ultra sound. My calendars both big and small showed nothing. So today we drove to the Pavilion for Ken to take the test. Kashina drives us. Fortunately she is a good driver. Everything went well. The appointment was at 10:15 so we wanted to leave at 9:30 but we were late leaving. Ken and I set the alarm for 8:00, giving us 90 minutes before walking out the door. Now we know we must allow two hours. The University radiology department if efficient. We arrived on time and we were in the car driving home at 11:00. We were pleased but await the result. While waiting for Ken to take his test, I listened to a conversation between three people. They were sitting on chairs to my left. I could not see them but I clearly heard every word. I had difficulty understanding their words, even though I knew they were speaking English. I also could not tell if they were black, white or hispanic. I asked Keshina if she could tell the difference just by listening their words. She admitted that some times she can and sometimes as she can not but she looked at the three. I had no clue what their racial origin was just by listening. Today I got fooled. In truth, there were two white people and one person of color having a conversation. That Mississippi accent is difficult for me. And I certainly can not tell who they are. The only other observation for me was that I saw several large people today in the Pavilion. Both height and width were impressive. It turned out to be an interesting time during the ultra sound.

November 7, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Decisions.

Decisions have been made. We are having Thanksgiving dinner at our house. Today I ordered our traditional feast from Primos. Linda , Christina's mother wanted to have it at her place again but we prevailed. For Ken eating at home is easier. If he gets weary, he can retreat to his chair in our TV room, which is not in the living room. Today I selected the food for our party on December 8th, which will be held again at the Yacht Club, just down the road. Christina will send the Save The Date today. I always have a birthday party for myself so we are doing it again. We invite our friends and their children to start the holiday season. For the first several years, we held the party in Mexican restaurants but last year we selected the yacht club, which proved to be a success. We will dine on pasta. Mexico is on our mind. The first decision is do we want to go. The next question is how can we get there. And the third question is how we could function when we are there. One decision has already been made. We have booked our condo for 6 weeks from December 22 to February 2. Ken thinks we should go. David and Suzanne and the girls are on the cusp of making the booking to come on Boxing Day. Wonderful Wendy may join us. Now the other decisions are still pending. The longer I am away from taking Ibrance the more energy I will have. But more decisions must be made. But we have made good progress today. More decisions must be made shortly. We are up to the task, I bet.

November 6, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. The shower.

Ken is perfectly capable of taking a shower by himself. This afternoon I took a nap. From the bathroom I could hear Kashina's voice. "Lift up your right arm," I could hear her say. Then,"now your left," "I forgot to wash your beard and mustache". "Now turn around so I can scrub your back." Kashina was helping Ken take a shower. It was very sweet. Evidently, when Ken told Kashina that he was going to take a shower, she offered to help so he said yes. When the shower was over, I could hear Ken say that that was the best shower he has had in months. Clearly, he liked the assistance. Kashina is our helper. She is a good one. She has a CNA certificate, which means, Certified Nursing Assistant and it shows. She expertly bandaged Ken's arm. And she can put drops in his eyes easily, which is difficult for me to do. In a short period of time, she has become indispensable to us. She helps Ken do his exercises and she walks with him for about 20 minutes each day. And she helps at home, doing the laundry and emptying the dishwasher and putting out the trash. But the most important part of her task is her kindness to Ken. She is dear to Ken, encouraging and light hearted. But listening to her instructions to Ken this afternoon took the cake. I suspect that Ken will take all his showers when she is working. He has always been a smart man.

November 5, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. My Eyes.

I was all set to have my vision improved by having new lens changed in my glasses. Just before we left for the summer, I had a procedure called needling to reduce the pressure in my right eye, which continued to be too high. It worked. My pressures were low, but my vision was poor. 20/60. Dr. O. thought that as the pressure increased just a bit, the vision would settle down. When I returned, I would be able to return to better vision. But it has not worked that way. In July, the pressure was 4, which is too low. Today it is 6, which is still too low. My vision continues to deteriorate. My vision in my right eye is 20/100. My left eye is fine except I have a small amount of vision in my left. I have big blotches where I can not see but what I can see I have 20/25. Close to perfect. So the procedure worked too well. Now the good doctor applied drops to add a bit if scar tissue to the right eye. She wants the pressure to increase a bit. In one month I see her again when perhaps my pressures will be perfect. Then I will be able to have new lens made for my right eye. Today I was all set to have my vision improved. I should have known better. Next time I will only expect to have another appointment and another procedure. The good thing is that I really like the lady doctor. She is a glaucoma specialist who has a cabin in the mountains of Idaho. She and her daughter spent two weeks in July hiking the mountains. We talk beautiful places as she examines me. Eventually she will send me back to Dr.K. But not yet. First she must get my pressures right. In the meantime, I hope my vision will improve in my right eye. I think it is kind of funny. For the past 18 years, I have been fighting to keep my pressures down. Now we have succeeded but now we must get them up a bit. I think the whole thing is amusing. At least my optic nerve is not getting damaged. I just keep hoping for the best. And continue to make appointments.

November 4, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Time.

Time has always been important to me. The first day of our trip down the Grand Canyon our guide urged us all to remove our watches. "We will be regulated by the sun, so you have no need to pay attention to the time of the day. We will get up with the sun, we will eat lunch when the sun is high and we will retire for the night when it is dark". Everyone did as they were told...except for me. I kept my watch on the whole time. I am more comfortable knowing the time and I would have been very uncomfortable removing my watch. If you ask me how I tell the time of the day, I would tell you that I use my wrist watch. But I would be wrong. Today we met Christina and the girls for brunch. We all arrived at the same time at 11:15. Near the end of the meal, Ken asked me for the time and I gave it to him. Kate corrected me and said that we turned the clocks back last night so my watch was wrong. Up until then, I had no clue that we should have moved the clocks back, so I was surprised. No one had mentioned it to me and I do not watch TV news. I was amazed that we arrived at the restaurant at the right time. Then I realized that I am using my cell phone to tell time. The first thing I do every morning is put on my watch but evidently I do not look at it. The whole morning, I was using the corrected time on my cell phone, which of course, is done automatically. Thank heavens for cell phones. I could have missed brunch.

November 3, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Hockey Night In Canada.

Even here in Mississippi, we get to watch "Hockey Night In Canada". We watch it on the NHL channel. Once upon a time, it was the only hockey you could see on TV. In fact, in the early years, only the last two periods were shown. When we lived in Toronto, we had no television so we watched the game at Don and Doreen's house. Now we watch lots of hockey on TV. We can watch every Nashville Predators games and most evening we could watch a game if we wish. But hockey Night In Canada has been one of the few constants in my life. This evening I had a clicker working overtime. The Toronto Maple Leafs were playing the Pittsburg Penguins in Pittsburg and the Leafs won 5 to 0. Payback. At the same time the Predators were playing. At the moment they are winning 1 to 0, which is not a winning score that is guaranteed. Then we get to watch a late game too. Almost too much hockey. Ken and I seldom go out at night so we have a date at home on Saturday night and watch Hockey Night In Canada. And we have fun.

November 2, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Evaluation.

Our cruise was lovely. We were looked after hand foot and finger. But Ken feels that he will not be able to take any more cruises. Even the calm waters of the Mississippi made the boat rock just a bit. Even docked, the boat had a roll. AnD Ken said that the ground under him sometimes moves already. Perhaps no cruises in our future. Getting around in New Orleans was impossible. We made an error in staying those four days. But now we know that we can not function in big cities. Mobility is an issue for both of us and vision is difficult for me. No big cities will be in our future either, at least when we are on our own. We travelled well on commercial airlines getting to Minnesota but we will not take two flights on the same day. One flight a day we can manage easily but two a day wears us out. So now we know. Traveling on the private jet was a dream come true. I wish I was rich. Our summer in Nova Scotia was excellent. Ken loved sitting looking at the ocean and he had no trouble with the stairs. Often he was up and down 4 or 5 times a day. The walking path at the arena worked well for both of us. Although it is boring, it is secure with the rail on one side and the wall on the other. Ken walked over 1 K each time. When we stayed home, Ken walked around our property. And being around friends was a treat for both of us. We hope we are able to spend another summer there. Our helper Katie was an added bonus. Now we must evacuate our future journeys. We are booked into our Mexican condo for 6 weeks. We must decide how we can get there and how we can function there. Soon we will talk. But not yet. We have just completed our evaluation of our ambitious summer of 2018. And we are pleased.

November 1, 2018. Madison, Mississippi. Dr. Collins.

Young Dr. Collins is moving to Florida. His wife's family live in Jacksonville. Everyone lives there so the family decided to raise their only child, who is three, along with their cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents. Dr. Collins and his wife have no family in Jackson. We are sorry he is leaving. He is a good Urologist. And he is the only doctor we know who encourages us to keep up with our wandering ways. "Just keep going as long as possible," said the good doctor today. Ken was not in good condition the first time we saw Dr. Collins, which was at the end off March. Ken arrived in a wheelchair and using a catheter. Now Ken looks good and walks well using the walker. All his plumbing works. So Dr. Collins is pleased with Ken's progress. Now we will be turned over to another Urologist in the same practice, which will be fine. Dr. Collins is having a hard time saying goodbye to all his patients, some of which he has cared for since he completed his residency. He begins work in Florida January 2. We will miss his efficiency and his quiet manner. We never wait. Before we see Dr. Collins we have already seen the nurse followed by thew Resident Doctor who asks lots of questions. By the time we see Dr. C., he has revived the situation and he gives us his decisions. He looks like he is 16 except he has gray hair. But he knows his stuff and we like his style. And of course he thinks the same way as we do as to how to lead your life. We wish him well in Florida.